Family name spelling.

[illhaveabrandy]

Yes I know, me again with another naming problem...

Babies (twin boys) are due in 4 months. First names are picked so now onto middle names. DP suggested we use a name that has been in his family for years (it's DP's own middle name, his dad's first name, etc). I like the name but hate the spelling they have used. DP says it would be rude of me to change the spelling before using it for one of the DSs. Hm. As it's only a middle name maybe I should just give in but hm anyway.

Wdyt?

hi, Im not the hugest fan of using the same names down the generations, however I do think it can be a lovely gesture, so surely the gesture will remain lovely simply by you using it as a middle name regardless of spelling? Not sure if it would be an obvious spelling change, but you could just claim to be modeniising it?

I agree it would be a lovely gesture towards DH's family, so i'd leave it as it is.

Let DH pick one and you pick the other...????

I have the same problem. Middle name would need to be Mathew, not Matthew.

I had a thread about choosing between Mathew and Maverick as a middle name (DH's nn is Mav and I still call him that).

Most people told me to use Matthew. So it was almost universally spelled the classic way, which was rather my point. I showed DH the post and the fact hardly anyone typed Mathew and we've now agreed on Maverick.

It's so difficult, not wanting to offend the in laws but at the same time not wanting to saddle another generation with a spelling that constantly needs correcting.

So no helpful advice, just lots of sympathy from me.

I think it depends on the spelling. In happycamel's case it is a pretty strange spelling - I wouldn't want to give my child a name that just looks wrong. But if it's a standard spelling I would leave it. Otherwise it sort of dilutes that fact that it's a family name - and isn't that the reason you're using it?

If DC2 is a boy then he will have a ridiculous old-fashioned middle name that's been in DH's family for generations. DD has 2 middle names, one from each side of the family and DC2 will have the same- maybe your twins could each have 2 middle names?

It doesn't bother me that the middle name is a bit off the wall as middle names can easily be ignored, left off forms etc. How often do they get used really?

my problem would be which child to give the name to!
as it's a special name, passed down... won't the one without it wonder why he didn't get it?

I always wonder this about a friend whose second little boy was named after his father. seems bizarre

but i digress... if you don't like the speling then change it

We've got the middle name Eric, after DH much loved grandfather. His grandad Eric was like a parent to him.

I dont like the name but have stuck with it. If it had an odd spelling I'd still have kept it, as nobody takes much notice of middle namse.

@happycamel - I like Mathew. It's lovely :)

So, the name is Trey. Well, that's how I would like to spell it-- DP's family have spelt it Trè which I just don't like. I will probs end up agreeing so as to not upset in-laws and @komondor is right (hopefully!) no one really notices middle names... thanks!