Moral dilema: my or DH's name choice for our 2 week old baby?

[homelyperson]

Hi, our baby son is almost 2 weeks old and yet we haven't decided on the name. The problem is apparently in me, because few months ago The Perfect Name came into my head (Gregory) and I haven't considered any others names ever since. DH is not happy about Gregory though (not overly unhappy, but not happy), and I asked him to give his shortlist. He gave me a list of eight names, seven from which I completely dislike, and only one (Oscar) is so-so to me. He said to me "if you not happy with any of my names, then choose your own". I am tempted between choosing Gregory but feel guilty at the same time in front of DH.
Admittedly, I haven't been in the best relationship with my DH lately, I am angry with him for number of reasons (have a right to be), but could I selfishly choose my own name - I don't know...
Our DS1 is Dominic, the name we were both happy about...
Time is ticking, what to do?

You have to have a name you both like

You have 4 more weeks

Has he said why he doesn't like the name?

What about a compromise, using Oscar as a middle name?

Firstly congratulations on the birth of your lovely new son!!! This is a dilemma indeed I think compromise is the definitely the key, can you not both go back to the drawing board and find a new name that you both love equally? I think choosing 'your Gregory', or 'his Oscar' may lead to resentment and bad feeling in the future! Good luck! x

Congratulations.

Gregory Oscar sounds great.

Awww I call my beanie Gregory . so I vote for that!

It won't be my beanies real name but its cute!

Congratulations.

You need to find a name you both like. It will only cause resentment otherwise.

New name, sorry.

How does he/you feel about Gregor?

Sebastian? Ruaridh?

It's tough when you can't agree. But surely there is one name out there that you'd both be happy with? If one parent really doesn't like the name, it's not fair to use it.

If I'm honest it sounds like your DH is willing to be much more flexible than you are - I think you need to go back to the drawing board and start considering any and all names with fresh eyes. Good luck!

if you both like Dominic how about other names that are similar? I always think Benedict is similar to Dominic.

I used to think that mothers get the deciding vote etc. But, having seen so many threads on here where people are asking if it's acceptable to change their child's name down the line because it's not sitting right with them, I'd say you need to find a name you both love.

It isn't a dilemma. You consider each others feeling, treat each other with respect and make this decision as you will hopefully make all decisions regarding your children - jointly.
Look at other names until you find one you both like.

I'm with you,threelittlepebbles! The person who did the whole puking, screaming, gas and air thing gets the casting vote!

Same here ! Me and my husband had agreed on Callum (i'm 36 weeks) but now i've changed my mind and really want Liam. My husband doesn't dislike Liam but would prefer Callum. He has said though he doesn't want to go back to the whole name drawing board because we find it so hard to agree on names and that at the end of the day i can call him what i want,he'd rather that than argue.
Makes me feel a bit guilty and bad though, i don't hate Callum, i've just gone of it after hearing it a lot in the playground recently and although i live down south i'm a northerner with a northern accent and the 'lum' at the end doesn't sound too good when i say it.
Anyway upshot is that i'm undecided what to do for the best too. Don't want to make my husband unhappy but at the same time i want to be happy with our baby's name, and feel happy telling people it.
I'm going to try and find out how strongly my husband feels on me naming the baby my prefered name. If it turns out he doesn't feel as strongly as me then i guess i'll call him the name i like most as otherwise i'm sure if he felt he really really disliked the name then he would say. I'll still feel a bit guilty though but at least he doesn't dislike the name (as he has said he quite likes it).
I'd try saying to your husband that unless he really has strong feelings against the name you've chosen then would he mind you going ahead with your prefered name and if he says not then i'd go for it, and at least you will have showed willing to rethink which to be fair you have already given he came up with another list you have already considered.
Good luck with it all.

namewise, I think Oscar is so much nicer than Gregory. however, I think it is really important you find a name together with your DH you both like and are happy about. I would probably start looking from scratch - you have 4 weeks more to decide!

agree you have to agree a name and reach some acceptable compromise... you have 4 weeks left as has been said.

FWIW I MUCH prefer Gregory to Oscar. But that isn't what you asked.

Agree also that Benedict sounds lovely with Dominic... Benedict means blessing which it might be if you can agree (you can also use Ned rather than Ben for a NN).

I also empathise and agree that perhaps it is worth finding another compromise name.

Personally I think Gregory is much, much nicer and more classic/elegant than Oscar/Ozzy, which is overused and will date more.

It really would be best if ye could pick a new name ye both really love and we'll help here if you decide to and give your lo Gregory Oscar as middle names (if not I think Gregory Oscar has a nicer ring to it then Oscar Gregory btw...) if you and Dh are outa sorts atm try not to let that help your heals dig in further cause that'll only make Dh resent it, you never know if you go the mellow "I really truly love Gregory and in my heart and soul know its who he is but if you really really can't live with it I will go back to the drawing board WITH you" you'll probably see your Dh melt a bit at your lovelyNess and may sway towards Gregory rather then the other way... {not advising sneakyNess of course! Just going in easy and playing the "I'm lovely me" card is all :) }

Hi and thank you all for your advice. It does not make things any easier though.. I suggested to him have two names then Gregory and the one he likes, which would be then Gregory David (his top No.1 option). He was kind of happy with the suggestion, but we weren't able to end our discussion as to what happens, if we end up calling the baby different names, me Greg and him David. DH said the child will choose the name he prefers, when older. But what about now??
So currently we have two options, either name Gregory David and hope that we will both call the baby Greg, or name Oscar. No point for me going on the plain drawing board - I do not see any name I like, so I could go with any then, i.e. Oscar is OK.
I was even considering to offer my DH some money :) for choosing Gregory and making him happy :) Funny me or in other words what hormones do :)

If dh is happy with Gregory David, I'd go with that. Sounds lovely and if you call him Greg/Gregory I'm sure that name will stick .

watching this thread with interest and can really empathise with your situation .dd4 is now 8 months dh had only one name on his list which although i don't hate , i really don't love or particularly like . i had one name i loved which dh liked but didn't love but gave dh a list of 7 or 8 i could live with we had one compromise name ie neither of us loved it but both liked but weren' sure about. she ended up with 3 names on her birth cert that is dhs choice , my choice , compromise name in that order on her here in scotland only have 21 days to register .

if we call her dhs name i feel awful and really feel sad using it .

if i call her my choice i feel guilty that i haven't made dh happy and therefore feel quite sad about it . the compromise name feels like a poor second choice to both of our favoured options .

my real regret discuss it more before we registered her . as i feel really guilty that the poor little thing's name has caused so much argument and that even at 8 months i don't feel settled with her name .

for what it's worth i love all three names .

gregory is probably least popular at the moment and greg is cool

oscar seriously considered it for ds4 and is lovely name but gaining in popularity

david solid classic ageless ,timeless name that won't date but less unusual maybe than the other 2 .

 good luck whatever you decide

I had this problem with my DS.
I absolutely loved one name, and had done for years - but DH said no.
I hated all the names he liked.
So we went for a name that neither of us loved - but both quite liked. DS has really grown into his name and it's totally the right name for him and I'm glad I didn't get to call him the original one - which would have been far too twee for his personality

smilingserenely, I am sorry to hear that you feel this way...
We have booked a birth registering appointment in two weeks time - still got time to decided whether we want to go with Gregory David or Oscar.
The baby is called The Baby so far...

Just don't go for all three. DOG or GOD might be problematic as initials.

If he doesn´t like Gregory then I don´t think you should use it tbh, or maybe have it as a middle name.

Personally I think that Oscar is much nicer.