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Original poster

Brave versus safe?

202 replies

horsechesnut · 13/07/2010 08:30

Most people have unusual/ uncommon names which they love but when it finally comes to making that choice just cannot bring themselves to use for whatever reason.

So my Q is - which did you go for - your brave name choice or your safe option and why? And do you now wish you'd chosen the other one?

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takethatlady · 16/07/2010 12:53

Hey miffles I think it's safe for a girl. It's very pretty. There was a sasha in my year at school (girl's school). Nobody batted an eyelid

seeker · 16/07/2010 13:14

takethatlady - look me in the eye and tell me that you wouldn't have to restrain a faint smile on meeting a Minnie, a Willy or a Roger? And if you wouldn't, find me a 9 year od boy who wouldn't and I'll cheerfully give you half my kingdom!

With my step nephews and neices (all of whom changed their names when they went to Secondary school) one you would probably have laughed, one you would have said "Sorry, I didn't quite catch that" and the third you would have shaken your head in bafflement.

CharlieBoo · 16/07/2010 13:37

I think sometimes you can try too hard to be 'different' and sometimes different is Weird! ;-)

mopsyflopsy · 16/07/2010 15:51

At the end of the day, names are just that, names. They do not define the person.

Perhaps I might think of Minnie Mouse or Minnie Driver when I meet a new Minnie, but I very quickly tend to associate the new 'Minnie' as the person she is.

And I've met loads of big and little Will/Willy's as well as Rogers and no, I wouldn't have to restrain any smile when meeting someone named that. Honestly .

mopsyflopsy · 16/07/2010 15:53

And CharlieBoo, I hope you don't pass on your view that "different is Weird" to your chilren!

ReasonableDoubt · 16/07/2010 15:53

Brave for DS (so glad - he is a real eccentric and can carry it off) and safe for DD (also glad - my 'brave' option was all down to pregnancy hormones, I fear)

Swazzee · 16/07/2010 16:11

Go for Brave, or as I would say, Unique. At uni there were so many Jo's that we had to call them all by the town they came from (Bradford Jo, Liverpool Jo etc). And at school there were 4 Sarahs just in my class. Go for Unique every time...

MarineIguana · 16/07/2010 20:23

I think it's true that you can "try too hard to be different" and maybe some people think that about me and DP - but I think we actually do just have unusual taste and love the names we chose because they mean something to us. I love the fact that me and DP both adored and got excited by the names we thought of for our DC, despite them being so rare - to me that shows how well we "get" each other.

QuantaCosta · 16/07/2010 20:46

But quite often the person who has to be 'brave' is not the adult it's the poor child who's saddled with the 'yooneeq' name.

Sods law will dictate that the poor kid called Rambo will be the biggest wimp in the play ground (and suffer doubly for it)and the girl called Princess will be anything but.

The modern obsession for a child to 'stand' out seems to be based all around the celebrity culture of people with no talent being famous for no reason at all apart from occasionally having shagged someone 'famous'.

Surely the reason you want your child to 'stand out' is because they're a lovely kind person with a great personality rather than having a 'standout name'. Remember Zowie Bowie renamed himself Duncan Jones?? Says it all really.

MarineIguana · 16/07/2010 21:33

But there are people on here saying they wished they had been given a more unique name (as do I), as well as vice versa. You can't know. You give your child a name that reflects your wishes - but they can change it later if they're bothered.

Colliecross · 16/07/2010 21:52

I changed my unusual old-fashioned name in adulthood - I dreaded every new introduction/job/training course all my life until one day I renamed myself Ordinary - my mum is very very not pleased with me though.

takethatlady · 16/07/2010 22:25

seeker we're going to have to agree to disagree. Willy and Roger are completely normal names! I know loads of people called Roger, and as Willy is short for William I'm guessing most 'Willies' have the chance to be William, Bill, Billy etc. And what's wrong with Minnie? In my family people use 'lily' for that particular rude word, but I've never met a Lily and laughed. I agree 100% with mopsyflopsy.

I feel sorry for your siblings and their children! Surely they chose names they thought would be lovely for their children - their children may agree or disagree (whatever those names might be) and can change them if they wish - and you may agree or disagree. But we can only all do our best!

Colliecross · 16/07/2010 22:46

takethatlady my mum does really mind my name change though - I knew she would but I couldn't bear it any longer.

seeker · 16/07/2010 22:48

yakethatlady - catch a 9 year old and try Willy or Minnie on them and see what happens.

momino · 16/07/2010 22:54

I really wanted an Atticus but wasn't sure I'd be 'brave' enough to use it. sure enough, we had a third girl so won't ever know!

i'm Julie... don't kn ow of any little julie's out there? will that name ever come back?

meadowlarks · 16/07/2010 23:31

The names I literally will not budge on are Atticus for a DS and Celeste for a DD. To me, they're perfect, and I hope to teach my kids the confidence not to care what anyone else thinks. And anyway, names are just names.

Seeker - you either have the most juvenile sense of humour I have ever come across or you live in the 80s. There was a Willy, a Daisy (common slang back then), a Jesse (you big jessie!) and a Pippi (ginger too) in my school, and if they were ever picked on, it was never simply because of their names. These things don't define a person.

takethatlady · 17/07/2010 01:24

Well said meadowlark. Sorry colliecross, that really doesn't sound like a nice situation. I hope your mum comes around

seeker · 17/07/2010 10:19

"These things don;t define a person"

Oh, of course they don't and I didn't say they did.

And on the "juvenile sense of humour" point - I think you'll find that most 8 year olds have a juvenile sense of humor - kinda goes with the territory.

And I suppose some people raise thaie children along "whatever does not kill us makes us strong" lines.

Me? I think that to, about unavoidable things. But I try to smooth my children's paths as much as I can - life throws enough shit at them without me adding to it. My dd for example, is red haired, freckled, wears glasses and is extremely posh(and drop dead gorgeous!) And she has a last name that, with the alteration of one letter, becomes a rude word. I reckon that was enough to make her strong and proud of who she is without also having a first name that is a common euphemism for female genitalia!

sonniebonnie · 17/07/2010 10:32

In my experience most names will become synonymous with the person behind it. And it is that person's personality that determines whether I like or dislike him/her.

I've met Minnies, Lillies, Willies and Dicks over the years and every single one is defined by who she/he is, not their name. And no, I don't have to giggle every time I talk to them .

Think of Dick Cheney or Minnie Driver, or how about Condoleezza Rice, Barrack Obama - does anyone giggle at their names every time they're mentioned? Has it held them back in life?

seeker · 17/07/2010 10:52

Dick and Minnie do not have the same associations in America. People did go "What?" to Condoleezza Rice at first. And Barrak is neither brave nor unusual for a person of his ethnic background.

mopsyflopsy · 17/07/2010 10:57

I wonder if there are as many people wishing they'd been given a more unique/original name as there are those wishing they'd been given a more common/safe one.

I have a relatively rare (but very beautiful) name and I loved being the only one in my year with it. I love it even more now being an adult (it helps being found by old school friends on facebook ).

Perhaps we should do a vote of all mumsnetters?

mopsyflopsy · 17/07/2010 11:28

Actually, Seeker, I think Dick does have ths same association in the US as it does have here...

... and I don't either have to giggle each time I hear Dick Cheney mentioned in the news.

mopsyflopsy · 17/07/2010 11:30

And what about Dick King Smith?

Jazmyn · 17/07/2010 11:35

We're going for a normal first name but with an interesting story behind it. For me, the reason you choose the name is very important. It helps for us that we have an "interesting" surname.... not many "Gouverneurs" around so he's always going to be a bit different!

seeker · 17/07/2010 11:43

Hang on - we need to define our terms here. I'm not debating with anyone who would actually call their child "Dick" am I? Because if I am, I've got a brick wall here that need to be beaten with my head and I think i'd rather do that.

Yes, names do become synonymous with the people who have them, but not on first meeting. So, but the time you get to the 6th form, if you're lucky, peopel will be used to the fact that you're called "Dick". But when you introduce yourself for the first time in Year 7, I can guarantee that it's your name you'll be remembered for, not your sparking personality.