Brave versus safe?

[horsechesnut]

Most people have unusual/ uncommon names which they love but when it finally comes to making that choice just cannot bring themselves to use for whatever reason.

So my Q is - which did you go for - your brave name choice or your safe option and why? And do you now wish you'd chosen the other one?

DD's FIL is Alan. DS has a friend of Croatian background called Alun.

Meadowlarks - the best bit is when you see it written down on the passport. I like Gertrude too, but with the Dutch pronounciation. It's naff in English. It shortens to Truus (with a slight roll of the 'r').

I thought my DCs names weren't particularly brave, but I didn't know anyone else with their name. I had an unusual name at school and I was well happy about it.

Since naming DS I have met at least 3 people with his name. I wanted it so we couldn't shorten it to a very common boys name when I was at school. We never shorten it though. It would just sound weird.

We definitely chose it coz we liked it, however when I talk baby names with my friends she makes no bones about the fact she thinks both my choices make me up my own arse.

I think that what stands out from those statistics is just how varied name choices are now. Even the most popular name in 1998 (the year I looked at as the closest to my children's birth years) didn't hit 10,000, and past 50 or so the use was less than 1,000. Out of over 300,000 boy/girl babies. So even if you chose the most popular name, only 3% of other children of the same sex would share their name. Of course regional variations mean that they might still have a few other children in their class sharing their name, but still I was surprised.

I have a very very unusual name (never met another) and dh had the top boys name for his birth year, so we picked neither brave nor safe, although I didn't think in such terms for my own children. We chose names that we liked, that we hoped they would like and that suited them. For our second we spent a very long time trying to think of a boys name, and decided in the end on Richard Ezra, with the Richard in case Ezra was too tricky. The funny thing is that Richard might even have been more unusual than Ezra, even though we picked it to be a bit of a back up. We had dd instead

Really really unusual names (like Zeus) are in my opinion great for pets, but not for children. Made up/misspelled names are just best avoided.

One of the other things that interested me looking at the lists (although didn't surprise me if I'm honest!) is how many people clearly can't spell! Why, oh why?

We're expecting twins and don't know what we're having. I love our girls names (1 in particular is v.unusual, but the other is more common) but I do admit that I will be quite sad if I don't get to use our boys names because they are also unusual (not brave though - or I don't think so anyway) and I love them so much. So for us it's a case of choosing names because we like them and if they happen to be unusual - all the better. Definitely not a case of not being brave enough to use the unusual name - quite the opposite in fact - I'll be sad if I don't get the chance!

we went for unusual with safe middle names so that if the children really want to change their names when they're older then they have a and easy option with how to do that.
we have and Annali1se Claire ( great because she can essentially choose her name depending on her mood!)

and the more controversial Ezekiel james who is known as Zeke in real life.

am curretly pregnant with #3 and they say shes a girl but have gone for an unusual first name but more normal middle we'll just see if she suits it when she arrives!

I wonder how long it'll be before John Doe loses it's connotations. They'll have to change it to Jack Doe or Jayden Doe?

I think people do worry too much about giving their child a memorable or interesting name. People can be interesting or memorable or boring and forgettable,whatever they're called.

No-one ever says "John Doe. Really interesting bloke, shame about his boring name"

I have an unusual name (was in this country anyway in the 70's when i was born) and it drives me mad with spelling, pronunuciation etc.

My kids all have 'safe' names ....not because we are boring (i don't think!) but because we think they are classic, will suit them throughout their life, (everyone can say and spell - my idea!) but most of all because they were the ones myself and DH loved and could agree on. I would have chosen slightly less popular names, but certainly not 'brave'. You choose a name because you love it not because there are 10,000 or zero babies with the same name.

FWIW - I'm still to come across a Jack at all the playgroups we go to or DD's school! So they must be living in another region...

Tummytickler - I know you were much earlier in the thread but I just wanted to come on and say how much I love Percy as a girls name!

We would have had a Persephone/Percy other than having 2 boys......

As it was we went for strong names not very common. DS2 was a braver names choice which I struggled with for a while but I really love it now, he is called Woodrow.

pippy - I was watching Whose Line is it Anyway? last night, and there was a made up character called "Woodrow Butcantpaddle" But I really like Woodrow actually, especially since Woodrow Wilson was always a favourite president of mine.

Merren is a girls name, it's ancient Scots and is usually (i think!) spelled Meron. I've heard Merrin and Maron in films but never in RL.

I picked it because it was the name of William Wallace's wife in the film Braveheart

She would have been Piper otherwise.

My DS is 'John' and although it is the most common name in the English language among adults, I haven't yet met another 'John' under 10.

I adore the name but do have the problem of people who don't know my DP hearing me use the name and assuming 'John' is the name of my partner (I guess people don't see it as a baby name). I suppose it does feel a little brave for that reason (well, to me anyway!).

I love 'Pandora', deliciousdevilwoman. DC#2 is on the way and I love Dorian (for a boy, obv) but I don't think I am quite brave enough for an out and out unusual name (plus DP hates it and has forbade it).

We went for fairly unusual for DD (not totally unheard of, fairly easy spelling, occasionally come across another one) and very very unusual for DS (probably only a couple of others in the world). We have a v common surname so I thought we could afford to go for braver choices. People do have funny reactions though - someone asked my parents if we were 'stupid' at one point!! Lots of lovely names here on this thread but am pretty at the use of Lillith though. Not just a funny character from Frasier but also a fairly unpleasant demon from early christian mythology. Why would you use that?? Beelzebub, anyone?!

I went for the unusual name choices, as I didnt want them to be constantly referred to with their surname or initial.

Though I see from the 2008 list linked to that thier names arent quite as unusual as I thought they were! Though they are all outside the top 100.

Please don't pick the safe one. we picked unusual - but not made-up - name for our DS. Its not on that list, and I only know of one other person in the world with it. I am sure there are others though somewhere.

It starts with an X

My DS is now 10 and he loves his name; and thinks its really cool. We have a fairly common surname, starting with Y and he loves his initials too.

We picked a couple of names, nice pretty names, I love for DD although she does have a silly middle name too - so she didnt feel left out.

Never regretted it

Am currently having this debate with DH with regards to naming our second, he likes more traditional (safe) names and i'm a bit more for brave names, our DS1 has a very safe name but where we live i have never heard of another little boy called it in the 4 yrs since we named him but i just think it would be nice to have something unusual i love Delilah for a girl but DH just starts singing tom jones! i also liked Sawyer or Cassidy for a boy but he just wrinkled up his nose. I say sod it if you both like a certain name use it! who gives a rats behind if other people don't like it it's your choice! (for example: a friend of mine has 2 little girls called Mercedes and Gypsy not my cup of tea but it's her decision and i respect that)

We went for mid-range names from our list. which included all sorts from James (one of my choices) to Aelfric (one of DH's).

We ended up with Gabriel, India, Edwin and Willoughby, which might be considered brave by some, though I cite Aelfric as a mitigating circumstance!

I don't really get the whole 'your child will be bullied' thing. Bullies are bullies and will pick on anyone they can, and will keep going if they find it actually upsets or has an effect on that person. Bullying is so serious, and I don't think it is ever actually caused by a name (though the name might be used in the process) - bullies pick on more sensitive children, and their behaviour shouldn't be tolerated whatever their reason. They could only ever use the name as an excuse, but I bet there's always something much deeper underlying it. So I wouldn't worry about that.

I have an unusual name - a few exist around the world (according to Facebook!) and there is a very old song (1920s) which uses my name (though with different pronounciation). People have usually heard of it though. Apart from the fact I couldn't buy rubbers/fridge magnets/badges etc with my name on, I loved it growing up, and I still love it now. It feels like it really is a name that is mine. It made me feel special that my parents picked something unusual for me (and they chose it because it meant 'noble and kind'. Not that I am actually 'noble and kind', probably, but it felt nice that they picked a name for lovely traits). People often ask me about my name, and it feels like it belongs to me. It is also abbreviated differently by different people in my life, which I like.

I think people worry about names in the abstract - it sounds 'old lady' or 'weird' or whatever - but once it is actually worn by a person, it takes on a different connotation. There are loads of threads saying 'I used to think Maud/Mabel/Iolanthe [delete/add as appropriate] was a horrendous name, but then I met a little girl at playgroup with it and it really suited her'. I think whatever you pick (unless it is 'Nighthawk' or, to reference a real life middle name I heard of recently, 'Whatever') your child will grow into it and make it their own.

I wanted our ds to be Ptolomy - don't know why, just really like it. Figured he could be a tolly or tolo or lolo - or P.T. Or Pete if he wanted something very normal from it

Ended up with a Noah instead - got talked out of Ptolomy.

My mum nearly fell over herself when we told her, couldn't comprehend it being a childs name as she hadn't heard it being used (other than in obvious bible story), thought we were mad. Within 4 weeks she had friends who had had new grandsons or talked to people in the shops etc and knew not one, not two but seven more Noah's and had to conceed (a minor miracle in itself) that maybe it wasn't quite as unusual as she had thought - and even went so far as to say that it was a bit common this year

DS2 I fancied Jethro but got talked out of that too

most annoying thing is that I had loads of girls names I wanted to use, it was a real struggle to get boys names, never really occurred to me that I would have a boy let alone two as everybody else in family had lots and lots of girls and now will never get to use them

zipzap I bet your Ptolomy would have ended up just plain old Tom

The thing about bullying is that yes, if a bully wants to bully, they will find something to bully about, but why hand them a reason on a plate? The chances are that a child with a "brave" name won't be bullied, but there is a risk they will be. There is a much bigger risk of constant low level teasing - not bullying, exactly, but wearing and exhausting and boring. My dp's last name, for example, only needs one letter changed to make it a rude word, and someone always did, on locker doors and so on. Not bullying - but you could live without it. You can't avoid it with a last name, but you can at least do your best not to lay your child open to that sort of thing with their first name.

Go Brave ... we chose Roker over Harry for DS1 and DS2 is Casper so close to your Jasper ) There is a Jasper at DS1s nursery this year so maybe it is growing in popularity.
My lesson from DS1 was that DH would let me choose the name for DS2 post birth so I humoured his suggestions but knew my choice would out!

There are some fabulously pretentious names flying around here! I just hope your DCs live up to their billing

As for all the comments about boring John, I am actually thinking there could be no better name for a little boy and as for Johnny - adorable!!!

Also far more likely to get the much-desired "raised eyebrow" from your friends than all the Ptolomys, Zanes, Gabriels and Byrons. Round here, those names are ten a penny...

In fact, case in point: a friend of mine has just called her baby Rafe. Another has gone for Christopher. And it's the Christopher that has caused more of a "stir".