Brave versus safe?

[horsechesnut]

Most people have unusual/ uncommon names which they love but when it finally comes to making that choice just cannot bring themselves to use for whatever reason.

So my Q is - which did you go for - your brave name choice or your safe option and why? And do you now wish you'd chosen the other one?

susiey we did the safe middle name choice too )

littlemissindecisive - all the Jacks live near me!! Very popular in Norfolk!

And mumtojohn - I've met a couple of baby Johns locally recently - so thin it's growing in these parts too.

takethatlady - I was the only person in my schools with my name - I hardly ever meet another - I've probably met a handful in my life, though it's becoming popular again and often suggested on here. As a child I was always upset because I could never buy a rubber/pencil/badge with my name on, either. My name's Louisa - not exactly brave, but unusual in the 70s and still unusual to a point, I suppose.

I was picked on at school - though not for my name but my accent (or lack of one), my shoes (my Mum made me wear Startrite for ages!), because I got good grades and worked hard - all sorts of things.

Every other boy round here (South West) is called Jack. The other half are called Ben.

Personally love the name Mary - classic and barely used.

Re the spelling thing - I have a very simple, one syllable last name and DP has a very common two syllable last name. We are almost always asked to spell our last names.
Even if you give a child a name like Isobel you have alternatives: Isobelle, Isabel/le, it has so many spellings they will probably be asked anyway.
Same goes for names or diminutives like Ollie/Olly, Rudi/Rudy.

"There are some fabulously pretentious names flying around here! I just hope your DCs live up to their billing"

No, children do not need to live up to anything, regardless of their names .

I thought I made a brave choice in asking my brother to choose the name of my dd. I'm lucky to have two children - a girl and a boy. When dd1 was born, my husband and I couldn't decide on a name. It was obvious to me that my dear brother was never going to have children. I asked my dh if it would be OK with him to ask my brother to decide on a name dd1. My brother chose a safe (some blighters on here might call boring) name, but I thought our manner of choosing it wasn't boring or safe at all!

When I went to school - a long time ago there were 5 Fionas in my class!! Now in my thirties I don't know a single one. When I had my second dd I called her Olivia which I know is soooooo popular but we have yet to encounter another 2 year old Olivia where we live or at playgroup etc, we live in NI and I think its really funny when people on this thread ask about spellings re Niamh, Aoife, Orlaith, Niall etc when I am tripping over them every few steps

My DD2 has a very safe and common name on her birth certificate. However, I wanted her to have a shortened version which is much rarer - outside the top 200. DH wanted her to have the safe version as he thought the shortened version wasn't a "proper" name, and I gave in because I couldn't see him agreeing to the braver choice.

In the event, she has been known by the shortened, rarer name her whole life and both DH and I bitterly regret not actually giving her that name. She is now faced with the hassle of using a different name to the one on her birth certificate, which throws up a whole set of problems.

I'd go with the brave choice. It makes your child more unique (there were 5 people with my name in my class at school and I didn't like it much!) and I think is much more likely to be something which suits just them.

We chose Amelia for DD 8 years ago, and got raised eyebrows then with choosing such a traditional name. At the time we knew of no thers. However, in the last couple of years they do seem to be popping up all over the place! Our original choice was Ella but as soon as we decided that, they were everywhere too! I think it just shows that names go in phases and as people have said, ones that were common in our day (such as Tracy, Sharon, Jane etc) do not seem to be around now. Not here anyway!

We have Hattie Hope,Dexter Miles and Felicity Faith. They all suit their names brilliantly. I never wanted to see a coat peg at school with the same name on!!!!

I'm actually very pleased that so many of you advocate 'brave' over 'safe'. I have a very common 1970s name and always hated being one of 3 or 4 in my year.... I was very envious of my friends with more exotic/unique names.

We therefore chose a less common name for ds, but it's is still easily pronouncable and spellable (starts with Q) and (despite some mumsnetters predicting that he would be teased) both we and him are very happy with the choice . So another vote for BRAVE over SAFE from me!

Still don't get the bullying thing! Sorry. You're not giving a bully an incentive to bully by having a name they don't like! They might bully you for being called Jack or Olivia! I just don't understand it. Pick a name you love and teach your child to be proud of who they are. They'll customise the name you give them whatever you do, anyway!

After MUCH deliberation we went for safe name over a long short-list of 'braver' names - looks like I'm seriously in the minority here! (Emma - dull you might say but lovely meaning) I swing from being slightly disappointed that we didn't choose a less popular name to being extremely happy with it.

So many 'brave' names do come across as being slightly pretentious or else really seem to have your social class written all over them. She can always use one of her less usual middle names if she doesn't like it.
I like a name that has a number of interesting historical figures who shared the same name, many of the 'braver' names have just none or just one that stands out.

Ime, I'm not sure that "brave" always equals "originial". DS2 has a VERY traditional name. Howevever, when he was born (by ELCS) the surgical team asked do you have a name for him and when we said "yes is is XYZ" they said, oh, how lovely, we don't hear so many of the traditional names these days.

DS1 also has a traditional (but more popular) name. I think at least it won't age as he does.

When ds2 was in hospital for a short stay at 7 months he was the only child in the short-stay unit with a traditional name. It was actually quite refreshing to see that all the original names were actually the most popular for their time. I suppose I'm just saying beware of giving your child a name which is a 2010 version of "Wayne" or "Travis" (which were popular when I was young).

Brave every time... I've only ever met one other person with my name (it's fairly common in Hungary though... ) and although I do have to spell it constantly and it's mispronounced all the time I love it. Don't recall hating it as a kid, either - my surname is foreign and long too, so both had the mickey taken out of them but nothing terrible.

We've chosen a Polish name for DD (I'm Polish) and had some trouble picking something that was easy to pronounce in English and Polish, didn't have accents etc and we liked. Ended up with an old fashioned name that can be abbreviated really nicely too.

"Pick a name you love and teach your child to be proud of who they are.'

Brilliant advice - but not that easy if every time you tell people your name they have to make an effort not to laugh.

I did hear, from a friend of mine, that she'd met a lady at a baby group who had just had a baby boy. When asked what she'd named the baby, she replied 'Wolfgang' and then (the baby's mother) burst out laughing. Now, that did puzzle me.

Bizarre. Wolfgang for a child with a british last name in britain strikes me as being on the cusp of unusual /brave, but not positivley hilarious.

I wish I could tell people my step-nephews and niece's names - it would prove my point so beautifully!

There are enough Jessicas and Tobys in the world..... always be brave!

"My DS is 'John' and although it is the most common name in the English language among adults, I haven't yet met another 'John' under 10."

If I get my way in 8 weeks time I might well be joining you. It's common amongst people in their 40's to 80's but then decreasingly so. As you say, it's very very rare in under 10's as a first name and I think even rarer as a "used" name (i.e. a lot of people are christened John as a family tradition but use their middle name).

If you look at the 2008 spreadsheet there are loads of names that people think are "unusual" which are way more commonly used.

I first thought this thread was about someone trying to decide whether to call their child "Brave" or "Safe". I thought "Safe" was a bit unusual!

We've gone for family names, so I guess that would categorise us as safe.

DS1 is known by a diminutive of his name, and has the best of both world's, really - a well-known name, easily pronounceable and easily spelt, but not a single other boy with the name, and I highly doubt he'll encounter many (if any his age) as he gets older. So all the benefits of a 'unique' name, without all the sniggering, rolled eyes and 'what are his parents like?' comments.

DD1-to-be's name is also a family name - although it does seem to be creeping up the popularity stakes (nowhere near the top league though). That has no bearing on our choice - she will be given it regardless, since it's after my late mother. Another classic that people will have no problem spelling, has some beautiful shortened versions - though there are about 3 different pronunciations, so she may have to help people out there a bit.

We gave DS1 a braveish name (only 23 of them in 2008). The minute it popped into my head, I knew it had to be the one. There was simply no way he was having any other name. DH is Chinese, so also has a Chinese middle name.

On the whole people love the name and think it is very characterful. The only people who raise an eyebrow are some people over 70 as I think his first name was a bit of a working class nick name in their day.

I have an unusual name (in this country, at least) and I love it and was never bullied about it. I think unusual names have the benefit of making you memorable, which can be nice. Mine was always the name people remembered on the first day of school, or at social occasions, etc.

I agree with the distinction people have made, though, between unusual and brave. "Brave" does suggest that the name might be subject to attack, i.e. a bit questionable, made up or acquired from a different context. "Unusual" is simply rarely heard.

I think our name is unusual and a tiny bit brave (in that it is more usually a nickname).

Do you think Sasha for a girl is brave or safe?
I always think of it as a boy's name, but I like it for girls...

Hey seeker, do people really have to try not to snigger when they meet new people and learn they have outlandish names? That's a bit childish for an adult, and improbable for a child ... [wonders what the names of seeker's niece and nephew might be, though!]