Moved to NZ and can't see advantages

[Spaglol]

Hi

This isn't a NZ bash.

We recently moved to a city in NZ (family of - 2 kids primary aged). Moved on nov 2023. I know it's very early days.

I can see how beautiful it is and people are lovely and we've had really positive experiences with people.

But... I just don't think it's worth it for me / us. The house we are in is freezing and we are paying so much. The food is so expensive. And I feel so far away. There are so few jobs in my area.

I totally get this is all my view and the information was out there for me to read before but I didn't comprehend the reality of not having an Aldi and being able to get to Europe etc.

Our house in UK hasn't sold yet. I am starting to think we cut our losses and go back?

As I said, I'm not having a go at NZ, it is me.

I'm worried if we move so quickly again, I'll mess my kids up. That's my major concern.

Thanks for reading.

The house we are in is freezing and we are paying so much. The food is so expensive. And I feel so far away. There are so few jobs in my area

And you didn’t look into any of that when deciding to go out there? Thats odd.

I’m not from/in NZ, but just pondering the ‘real life’ comment. It’s so bizarre, and I imagine extremely offensive to anyone living in NZ permanently.

Houses in Aus and NZ are appallingly built - I've never been so cold as I've been in winter in Melbourne. That said, in the UK we suffer through summer with fans and nobody has aircon, so it evens itself out in the wash really.

Lol at NZ not being real life. Wonder if I can stop paying my rent and bills based on that? 🤔

I thought you might be in Dunedin based on the weather and the houses!
The house temps can be tough, real fires seem to make a big difference and a more modern house should have better insulation. Do you have time to take a break before the kids go back to school?
It is a stunning part of the world, I would give it a year and see how you feel. Embrace it for a year and make the most of doing things here that you can't do back home.

So where should op live in NZ? Obviously not Wellington?

And of course no-one in the UK has ever had an horrendous experience with the NHS!!!!! Where on earth in NZ does she come from? I live in a small town and there are people living here from almost every corner of the globe so I don't see how the UK can be so much more diverse.

Rent out your place in the UK and give NZ more time. It takes 2 years really to settle anywhere. Maybe Aus will be more your cup of tea? NZ seems very small to me in comparison.

There’s nothing wrong with Wellington, it’s a lovely city. Just windy!

As a very happy Wellingtonian I'd be interested in which suburb you're living now, as it's been baking hot the last couple of weeks and I haven't been able to cool my house down at night!

There's so much to really enjoy in Wellington, it's a small city that really punches above its weight in terms of activities and culture and with a range of scenery, please take some time to go explore.

I can relate to the cold of the pools and sea (I'd never go in without a Wetsuit) - I think Kiwis are hardier and brought up to not care about the cold, or just put a jumper on .

@Turangawaewae oh yes I forgot living on the sunny side of Wellington is very important! A friend used to live there so I’ve heard about all these little quirks lol.

Ahhhh Windy Wellington!! That explains the weather, but it’s an absolutely brilliant city. And absolutely perfectly positioned for travel to both north and south islands - we would literally jump on a plane Friday night to go to Queenstown for a Ferg Burger! (Worth the queue!)

I worked in NZ for two years and I LOVED IT. I wrote a note about the country that was a mix of my own thoughts and New Zealandisms. I’ll share here but might be out of date as was about 8 years ago I was there. It’s long and super random:

NZ
Wh is pronounced F. If you are looking for “whangerai” this is crucial information.

Many places have names that sound like a toddler’s string of consciousness at first hearing. Then you discover the meanings and you feel bad for laughing because they’re so ancient and spiritual and lovely.

Indicators are optional.
When used, they aren’t asking they’re telling.
Stopping distance is 0.5 car lengths, at all speeds.
Road lines are to be observed or ignored at will.

Everything is sweet as. It is impossible to make a kiwi shout in anger.

It is impossible to stop a Kiwi shouting at rugby.

The Haka looks cool on telly but moves corners of your soul you didn’t know existed when done 20 feet in front of you.

“Book-a-batch” is Kiwi Airbnb and is not a reference to cakes or bread.

Every single Kiwi can make an incredible cappuccino and if you even think about mentioning your Nespresso machine: DON’T. There will be judgement.

Flight of the Conchords is closer to reality than you think, and the toothbrush fence is both a) real, and b) a tourist attraction. In a country of indescribable natural beauty, a fence where people tie their old toothbrushes is on TripAdvisor with a rating of 4.5 out of 5. Cathedral Cove has the same rating and that is a rock that looks like a cathedral that was formed over thousands of years.

New Zealand has ALL the most heartwarmingly ridiculous birds on the planet: Kiwi etc etc. Special shout out to the Kakapo. Why? Because it’s a freakin’ NOCTURNAL PARROT that runs like a lopsided penguin because it can’t even fly!!

It is completely appropriate to speak to any Kiwi anywhere for any reason. They take the concept of friendly to new levels.

Supermarkets: If the U.K. is Waitrose - Sainsbury’s- Asda, the USA is Trader Joes - Kroger - Walmart, then New Zealand is Faro - New World - Countdown

A feijoia is like a hard pear that tastes of perfume and they are so abundant that they are in everything. EVERYTHING. You will hate them at first, then eat them constantly.

Even the skankiest, motorway petrol station will serve better coffee in New Zealand than 90% of places in the U.K.

Shoes are always optional.

Yes becomes yiss and if you aren’t saying it within 5 minutes of arriving you’re a stronger woman than me. Deck is....yup. And it’s funny EVERY DAMN TIME.

They do not have Amazon. Repeat: no amazon.

They will name things literally. I saw a donut stand called “round things”, and first aid spray called “hurt spray” and a toiletries brand called “mmm, that’s nice”.

Tim Tams are superior Penguins.

Go to all the places with no phone signal. They are all the prettiest.

I honestly love that country so much. It’s so beautiful, and whilst Wellington is a really good base it’s not a patch on other parts in terms of beauty. I’ve never existence nature like in NZ, and the friendliest people (who sometimes seem too laid back to is Brits at first).

I think rent your house out and give it a year. Lots to love in NZ. Get out of Wellington when you can, try to see some other bits soon. Good luck OP!

Crumbs, you were brave to move to Wellington. The weather is appalling and housing is soooo expensive.

What sorts of things are you into?

Hi, It can take a while to settle in to a new country with new ‘rules’ and customs etc. I empathise, as I’ve moved country 3 times for my ex’s job. NZ is beautiful but very different from the UK. I love the UK, however consider AU as my home now after the initial settling in period. I know lots of New Zealanders who have chosen to live and work in AU.

I don’t know whether you’re aware of this?

https://www.aph.gov.au/About_Parliament/Parliamentary_departments/Parliamentary_Library/pubs/rp/rp1920/Quick_Guides/NewZealandersInAustralia#:~:text=Under%20the%20Trans%2DTasman%20Travel,to%20apply%20for%20prior%20authority.

There’ll be rules/eligibility criteria (I haven’t read it), but in general, it sounds like NZ citizens can live and work in AU (rather than you needing to return to the UK as an option if you’re still not settling in NZ after a time but still want ‘an expat adventure’ to continue???) You might have to become NZ citizens though first. Not sure, as I haven’t read the blurb! Anyway, thought I’d post the link, in case it might be a ‘do-able’ option for your family to work towards if you’re interested?

Ps. Sunny, humid and hot in Queensland today (and there’s lots of ALDI’s around!)
😎🤣☀️

Is it really cold or is it just not as hot as a centrally heated UK home?

The first time I went to Australia I was suprised how cold the home was (I went in their winter) but I'd come from a home kept at 20+ degrees C. I was used to coming inside, dumping my coat and wearing a T-shirt with no jumper / cardigan.

Try to make the most of it, if you are not working and the kids are not in school could you do something together? Horse riding? Kayaking? Just pack a picnic and go for a long walk. Buy a wildlife / bird ID book and go with the kids to see what you can identify. There must be some wilness around whether that be a beach or a park.

Yes this is going to cost, but if you do come back in a year you will have made this summer one to remember.

Do the tourist things. Involve the kids in planning some trips.

Does New Zealand have the coin operated BBQs they have in Oz?Sorry I know very little about NZ other than it looks beautiful.

Talk to the parents of kids at your children's school for recommendations.

Have a look at the UK weather, we are having storm after storm, flooding, people killed by the weather.

I have moved country 6 times and I would say you need to give it a year before you even think about moving.

If you move then stack every difficulty as a mark against that place, you will never settle.

I always moved with the attitude that I was there for a year and I wanted to make the most of it. That got me getting out, making friends, exploring etc and I always had such a great time that when the end of year came round, I didn't want to leave.

The first thing you need to try to accept that NZ is not the UK so comparing the 2 is a pointless effort.

Everything will feel weird because it's new to you! That doesn't make it better or worse. Everywhere has its advantages and drawbacks.

On the whole, primary schools in NZ are very good. You need to be a bit more selective at secondary school level but it sounds like that's some time away for you.

Your living conditions will be a big factor in how much you enjoy your time. Not hard to feel happy in a cosy, waterfront home. Much more difficult in a drafty shack overlooking a motorway.

I see that you have signed for a yr so I guess just try to make it as cosy and comfortable as you can.

With regards to bills, go to PowerSwitch to find the most economical provider for gas and electricity. For insurances, check out Canstar as they publish ratings.

For groceries, I swear that it's economical to subscribe to a meal kit. Look up Bargain Box: the produce is top quality, the recipes v simple and the portions are generous.

Other than that, most people swear by Pak'nSave but yes, grocery prices are crazy. Everyone is feeling it!

Do the children swim? It's a v popular pasttime and there are some nice pools in Wellington.

Try to make a point of getting out for adventures, of nipping away for weekends. There are so many lovely spots to visit.

I love wellington and lived there for 8 years but when we moved back to nz (we pinged ponged then pinged back to nz 😂) we moved up to the BOP, the weather is crap in Wellington. It’s such a shame as it’s an ace city! It’s such a culture shock living there at first. Takes at least a year. Don’t give up on nz, your children will have such a better childhood. We live by the sea, they swim every day and it’s warm. Life is more innocent.

Exactly this. Dh and I moved more than this and I ended up getting itchy feet for the next move and the process started all over again. And the feeling for ‘back home’ was missing the last country we lived in. It took a lot of time to readjust to British life and remain here longer term. The only move I really didn’t like was the first one. We were only there for 6 months. The country was fine. The area was not. I made dh stick it out when he really wanted to go home… and he’s not even from the uk originally. We didn’t make the same mistake again.

Try it, then get back to us. There is a massive difference between research vs living the reality.

And it wasn't the OP who made the 'real life' comment, but I'm sure the Kiwis on this thread have eye-rolled and got over it, without needing you to be offended on their behalf.

Thank you for all your comments and suggestions and insights. I appreciate it.

I'd written a message and tagged people but deleted so this is shorter.

Thanks for the link to the food delivery scheme - that looks really good value. Will price up and hopefully get going with it.

Yes, I am probably used to central heating and double glazing. Have lived in old houses before and flats with no central heating but our house in uk, which kids know, was well insulated. So for them and me, Nov and Dec were a big shock. Will have to look into what we can do for winter to make it better as realistically I cant see us moving to another short term let in near future.

Yep, Wellington is a fab city. Loads of great, free :) stuff on and I hope we are maximising it. Love the waterfront. We are in Northern suburbs. Yes, the weather has been lovely for a few weeks. Last night storm and this morning I thought the trees were going to fall on us. I find this wind terrifying. I am from a windy place and thought I knew wind, but this is in a different league (to me).

Have looked into moving to Australia, we've got PR, but not citizenship. But tbh feel so tired by it all (and my overthinking) that I think I have to just stop and get on with it for a bit.

I've been told the job market should pick up post-election and after summer break so will keep applying. I did look at jobs, housing etc a lot before we moved, but I guess we felt the advantages outweighed the disadvantages. Obviously now I'm not so sure, but this can change again.

Thanks for the note @PretzelMeUp sounds like you had a ball!

Thank you again for taking the time to say something. I feel less like I've destroyed the kids' lives. Off to bed, up early for trip along coast. Cheers :)

Honestly, don't worry about the kids!

They will have a ball here, and one thing I have really loved is how much more relaxed primary school is without constant testing and SATS and pressure about secondary school entry.

They will only benefit from you expanding their world.

You absolutely haven’t destroyed their lives! Kids at that age are so adaptable and will take their cues from you. If you treat this as a fabulous adventure that’s how they’ll see it. Whether you stay or go back at the end of the year, if you treat it as a positive that’s how they will perceive it.

For winter OP invest in some heated throws. My house is currently 12 degrees but I'm really toastie.

Enjoy your trip tomorrow.

I know it’s not NZ but friend/NDN moved for initially 2 years to Toronto from London suburbs for the DH’s work.

There’s been good and bad sides to them moving eg education and the DW hasn’t got a job yet (she’d have to retrain as a teacher). Her DH isn’t well and suffered a bereavement of his best friend after they moved there. Their main issue is their family and friends are in UK so that’s a big pull. But they’ve got eg a dog over there which they didn’t have here. The DW moved abroad with her family as a child and enjoyed it. She’s also very social so makes friends easily, no relatives in Canada.

You really have to weigh up pros and cons and why you moved there and make the best of what’s there.

February is the warmest month in NZ, IMO, so you might feel a lot cosier then. And you'll then have time to acclimatise for the winter. Definitely get some cosy indoor clothes. Slippers are a must, and I second heated throws for the colder days. I don't know why it's taken NZ so long to catch up with double-glazing etc. My Mum always says "Just put up thick curtains, you'll be fine".

I love Wellington. If we moved (back) to NZ we'd live there, or in one of the Hutts.

Definitely agree with all those who have said to rent out your UK house and give it at least a year. The kids will be fine if you decide to go back to the UK.

Just had a thought: go to Glassons and get some of their merino tops. They are the best base layer, much warmer than any thermals, IME. I think Farmers has a range for children, and there must be other shops that have them too. I live in merino from Glassons over the winter; it's much cheaper than getting merino in the UK so I often have my NZ family bring me some, or we make sure to stock up when we're across. I've got tops from there that I bought 15 years ago, and apart from the occasional ladder they're still going strong. That doesn't matter when you wear them under things. Also: possum wool socks and gloves are fantastic.

I'd go home if you feel the way you do.

I spent a few years in a few different countries when the kids were little. We all look back with fond memories of our travelling days. Try and reframe the move home in your head as the next step in the adventure, rather than a failed dream.

We don't regret settling back in the UK for the school years one bit.

Also, I spent a good few months working in NZ. It's beautiful but would hate to live there. To me it felt like an 80s era UK, but with sky high prices!