Devastated 1:4 chance of downs

[disconnecteddrifter]

I have had 6 consecutive miscarriages and finally got to 13 weeks at the age of 42. Combined test nt 3.8, hcg 1.5, papp a 0.5. This seems certain for downs syndrome in all three areas of the test. I'm going for cvs but it's not looking good. It's stupid to hope isnt it?

I have been where you are...my sister has a lovely boy with DS, she had the blood tests and came out low risk, she had three older DC. She has ended up with a child who had open heart surgery as a baby, has lotsand lots of medical appointments, cant go to mainstream school, her life will never be the same. Folks saying any baby is better than no baby are being naive...in our heads we create, nurture and help them on there way....my sister is a full time carer and she is very fortunate to have older DC who are fantastic...it is a full time job and not one that you can hand over at 18

I've been following your story. I'm so so sorry OP

Im so sorry :(
Whatever you decide dont let people guilt trip you into a decision, its got to be whats right for you. Contact arc charity - they are fantastic and the support boards on there were incredible for me when i had to have a tfmr for my daughter. Lots of hugs x

We had the harmony test as my Papp-A was on the low side and I wanted to be sure. Can also find out the sex.

I'm so sorry OP.
Look up Sally Phillips. Her eldest has downs (not diagnosed until after birth) and she has so many insights to share.

Sorry to hear your sad news, I got the harmony test done very early with both my pregnancy, as like you if baby had DS I would also terminate so I just needed to know as soon as possible

Sorry you got such sad news x

I’m so sorry to hear this. It is completely your decision in regards to what to do next and all your reasons are completely valid. Many of us are here to support you as you need it xx

I’m waiting for similar results and understand even how hard the wait is, let alone what you are going through now x

Sorry to hear that @disconnecteddrifter. I had a tfmr last year as my baby had downs and organ abnormalities. ARC are a great source of support and will not try to influence you either way.

Someone has recommended Sally Phillips. Sally Phillips is fortunate enough to be wealthy, with a child with high functioning DS and none of the major medical issues that many people with DS face. She is very anti-choice. Just to forewarn you.

Wishing you all the best as you find your way through this

So sorry to read this, life can be so unfair sometimes x

So sorry op

Oh OP sounds like you've had a very stressful time. So sorry.

As others have said Sally Phillips did a very honest podcast with Giovanna Fletcher (I think Happy Baby Happy Mum, other something along those lines ) about having a teen son with DS.
I know it was very honest and realistic as I too have a 16 year old with DS (diagnosed after birth).
Please feel free to ask me anything.

I'm completely pro-choice and absolutely non-judgemental.

For the record: My DS (with DS!!) is the eldest of my 4, very high functioning, going back to year 12 tomorrow in our local mainstream school to do lifeskills and catering qualifications and in normal times swims three times a week a disabled squad, and no one in our family can swim as well as him! 💪🏻
He helps me in the home more than his siblings and is unnaturally nice, kind and forgiving!

But I do know of children/young adults with DS who have many more issues than my son. And so can completely understand the enormity of your decision.
Take care of yourself 💐

Thinking of you OP not a choice I’d want to make. I’ve worked with kids with DS some less effected than others.

So sorry it wasn't the outcome you were looking.
It's such a tough decision to make. 💐

Oh OP . I really thought it was going to be better news.

Sorry to hear that . Do you have other biological children? X

OP I'm so sorry. What a difficult decision to make. I don't know what I would do in your shoes.

I would not recommend the Sally Philips program, she is very one sided and anti-choice. I'm glad it was the right decision for her but as a previous poster mentioned, she's very lucky her son is high functioning.

Wishing you all the very best x

So sorry, OP, it's a very hard position to be in. Be kind to yourself. Sending lots of love. Xxx

So sorry to hear this @disconnecteddrifter. Sending you love and strength xxx

@disconnecteddrifter
I was so hoping you'd get good news.
Thinking of you.

Hi @disconnecteddrifter, it must feel a huge shock to have the diagnosis confirmed and a huge decision to make.

Do have a read of the resources on www.downs-syndrome.org.uk/for-new-parents/being-pregnant/ and some of the stories on www.positiveaboutdownsyndrome.co.uk (including some from the perspective of older siblings) and

www.facebook.com/DownRightAmazing. It’s a different road, but I for one wouldn’t change my daughter for the world. We were terrified when we received her diagnosis just a few hours after birth, but I wish I knew then what I know now. She’s five, has the funniest, sparkliest personality, is very bright (loves counting and singing) and has just smashed her first few days at school. Our personal lockdown triumph has been potty training - she went to school in big girl pants and no accidents so far 🥳.

Take care and good good luck xxxx

curliegirlie she is beautiful.

Sending lots of virtual love and support OP. A very difficult time. Definitely talk to ARC xx

@curliegirlie your daughter is truly beautiful and thank you for the likks which i have read. Our joint decision is unfortunately to have a termination next week. I cant even think about it because I can feel the baby and also feel so sad. Thank you for everyones messages of support

@disconnecteddrifter sending you hugs. So sorry you are going through this. We are here for you xx

@disconnecteddrifter my heart goes out to you.

Having been there myself, I really recommend the ARC helpline and forum.

This is the darkest of times, but things do get better