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12 week scan yesterday... devastated. Any advice welcome.

232 replies

WickedWitchOfTheWest83 · 21/04/2018 18:13

Hi,

So yesterday (Friday) morning my husband and I skipped off to the hospital for our 12 week scan, both very excited to see our very much wanted 2nd baby.

An hour later, after hearing the heartbeat and watching the sonographer struggle because the baby was moving around so much (which my husband and I were laughing at because we thought it was so cute!), we were ushered into a private waiting room and told our baby’s NT is measuring at 6.3mm and there seemed to be a bit of fluid around the head too. I was hysterical and my husband was barely holding it together.

They took my bloods and couriered them off to be processed as quickly as possible and booked me in to see the consultant for another scan and CVS on monday. So we are waiting all weekend unable to function at all!

The foetal medicine nurse/midwife who was in the room with us at the hospital, trying to reassure but also prepare us and explain everything to us as best she could, called yesterday afternoon with the results...

1:146 risk of Downs.
1:9 risk of Patau’s Syndrome.
1:9 risk of Edwards syndrome.
Hormones are very low too - 2 particular pregnancy hormones that I don’t remember the names of.

So all is still going ahead on Monday with the scan and CVS. The consultant isn’t actually working on the ward that day but she is going to be in the hospital and has promised to come to the ward just for me.

We are in pieces. I can’t believe this is happening to us! This sort of thing is the kind of thing you read about but never think it would happen to you. Not really. I’m 34, my husband is 38. That’s not really old, is it? My husband and I just keep taking it in turns to be the strong one and hold the other while we cry. It’s mostly me crying, but he is just as devastated. We have to get through the next few days of tests, results and decisions and I’m not sure how to do it.

I keep scanning the internet and these threads looking for good news - women who have had the same experience but had healthy babies. We wouldn’t continue with the pregnancy if we didn’t think the baby was going to have the best quality of life, but we are trying to not go down that road yet - we want it to all have been a mistake on the doctors part.

I’m not sure what I am asking, but please post whatever replies you think might help.

OP posts:
Chrisinthemorning · 25/04/2018 06:27

Thinking of you Flowers

Sparklesdontshine · 25/04/2018 06:35

I I got a 1 in 6 chance but following the Iona test it showed baby doesn't have down syndrome . Hope you get good news Flowers

Nightmanagerfan · 25/04/2018 09:25

Thank you @wicked I’ll update you when we get the results. The wait is agonising but I feel we are prepared for the worst. Be kind to yourself today. X

3luckystars · 25/04/2018 17:02

Thinking of you today. Just put one foot in front of the other and know that you are not alone. Take care and best wishes to you all x

Rachie1986 · 25/04/2018 17:06

Thinking of you x

bellsbuss · 25/04/2018 17:33

A close friend had a very similar experience 8 years ago. I can't remember the exact chances of Downs but it was under 100 and the other 2 were 1 in 10. There is nothing wrong with her son, thinking of you

WickedWitchOfTheWest83 · 25/04/2018 17:49

It’s Trisomy 18 - Edwards Syndrome. We are numb. Going into hospital tomorrow to discuss what happens now as I couldn’t speak on the phone anymore. I was hysterical and my husband was trying to hold it together for me so midwife thought it best we just go in tomorrow.

Now I’m just numb. Nothing feels real. I can’t even cry anymore and that makes me feel disloyal and guilty - like I should be crying forever for my baby. But I can’t. I don’t feel anything. I’m just sitting in our bedroom staring at the wall.

My poor baby 💔

OP posts:
Nightmanagerfan · 25/04/2018 17:52

Oh I’m so, so sorry... you must be devastated. Sounds like you’re in shock - completely normal reaction. Take each minute at a time and look after yourselves. I’m gutted for you. Flowers

WhyDoesItAlways · 25/04/2018 17:53

So sorry to hear that Flowers

MarshaBradyo · 25/04/2018 17:55

I’m so sorry
What you are feeling is normal, it must be so hard
Sending love to get you through this

DowntonCrabby · 25/04/2018 17:56

Devastating news, I'm so very sorry. Be kind to yourselves. Flowers

ClopChops · 25/04/2018 17:56

So sorry to hear this OP Flowers

Loungingbutnotforlong · 25/04/2018 17:58

So sorry to hear this- absolutely heartbreaking for you both.
You did not cause this, and your body did not fail you or your baby- life is just pretty shitty sometimes, and can feel harder than we think we can bear. You’ll be in terrible shock.
I don’t know what to say Flowers for you x

LauraRashley · 25/04/2018 18:00
Flowers
bimbambom · 25/04/2018 18:00

I'm so sorry, we found out our daughter had a terrible genetic condition at our 20 week scan. Feel free to pm me Thanks

GoJohnnyGoGoGoGo · 25/04/2018 18:00

I've been thinking about you all day. I'm so sorry to hear your news. Be kind to yourself.

Notonthestairs · 25/04/2018 18:01

I'm so very sorry Thanks

bigbird50 · 25/04/2018 18:04

I remember receiving the call to tell me it was T21. I didn't mention it in my pp. I knew though, I was 1:2 , had heart issues on scan and pappa not right either. It was truly awful, i remember sitting and shaking. Thinking about my little one I saw bouncing around the screen and being in shock and then what to do. It was truly heartbreaking and I grieved for a long time. Hugs from me...

HumanBeans · 25/04/2018 18:04

I'm so sorry Flowers look after yourself.

ladymelbourne1926 · 25/04/2018 18:05

I'm so very sorry op :( I have been thinking of you all day.
Sending much love x

herethereandeverywhere · 25/04/2018 18:06

I'm so sorry Flowers

marthastew · 25/04/2018 18:07

I am so so sorry. I'll be thinking of you and your baby xxx

rebeccabecca · 25/04/2018 18:08

I'm so sorry x

boymum9 · 25/04/2018 18:12

I'm so sorry xxxThanks

wizzler · 25/04/2018 18:13

So sorry op. I had a similar experience but the diagnosis was Pataus. I can recommend ARC who were very supportive for me at a terrible time