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Antenatal tests

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Original poster

12 week scan today showed severe abnormalities [sad]

77 replies

acsec · 06/08/2015 22:52

This is my first pregnancy and DH and I went for 12 week scan this morning. It hadn't really felt real until the sonographer said "There's baby" and I saw baby on the screen. But then she said there were abnormalities with the bowel and went very quiet whilst she took lots of measurements. It was clear to see on the screen that baby did not look like the perfect baby I had always envisioned Sad. She went to find a consultant, but they were both in surgery, so we had to go home and wait for the head midwife to call.

When she did call she was lovely, but said on top of the bowel abnormality, baby was high risk for Down's Syndrome. The consultant wants to scan me himself but not until Monday.

Monday is so far away and I have cried all day and just feel so sad. DH has been great, but we are both preparing for the worst.

I just need a bit of hand holding I guess. This was not the day I thought it was going to be Sad

OP posts:
hesterton · 06/08/2015 22:54

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Gingerandcocoa · 06/08/2015 22:55

So sorry to hear your news :(.

I don't know if this is helpful or not, but some friends have recently had a baby with Down Syndrome and bowel problems. He's currently doing well and is a very sweet little baby. He's very loved and a real joy to the family.

Stingingthistle · 06/08/2015 22:57

So sorry you've had this shocking news Flowers All the best to you and wish you strength for Monday.

Effic · 06/08/2015 22:57

Oh I'm so sorry :(
All I can suggest is that you stay away from google but write down any and all questions that you can think of between now and Monday and take as much time as you need on Monday with the consultant to talk through everything.
Good luck Flowers

Inkymess · 06/08/2015 23:13

I never realised they could see any of that on the 12 week scan. My DC2 was high risk but was then ok. I have friends who had a baby with major heart issues that were never picked up - he is fine but had to have massive operations. Another friend had a 12 week scan where their first baby had no heartbeat but they now have 2 gorgeous girls since. You can not predict what happens. Don't try to.
Try and remain calm and discuss the various scenarios between you without torturing yourself on DrGoogle. Write big list of questions. Ask what tests you can have and decide if you want them. Arm yourself with factual info. Use the consultant to help you. There is so much hype about happy scans that it's easy to forget this is why we have them - to check for issues.
Most of all make sure whatever decision you make is yours and not what someone else wants.

Dontlaugh · 06/08/2015 23:17

I am sorry you are going through this. It is terribly heartbreaking and divisive.
I have not had your diagnosis, but have had 1 miscarriage, 1 ectopic and then a healthy baby who subsequently turned out to be not so healthy and so spent 6 months in HDU.
Keep posting and know you are not alone.

Original poster
acsec · 06/08/2015 23:29

Thank you, everyone. I'm going to try to get some sleep now. I will definitely make a list of questions to ask the consultant. Just wish Monday didn't seem so far away.

OP posts:
Topsy34 · 06/08/2015 23:37

What a shock for you, i agree with other posters and start writing a list of questions for the comsultant.

Make sure they do not rush you and keep asking questions until you get the answers that satisfy the question.

It is virtually impossible to stay away from google when you hear news, if you are going to google, just be clear before you do that many of the studies are not the most recent, or you will find lots of peoples opinions, there is not much actual fact!

I also echo what another poster said, i know a family with a little boy with downs, and he is a true joy, he is such a sweet, kind little boy.

Lightbulbon · 06/08/2015 23:37

So sorry to hear you've gone through this.

Everyone expects the scan to be a happy event bit I suppose their purpose is actually to detect abnormalities.

Have you & DP ever discussed 'antenatal choices'?

There is a specific board on here you may want to look at or move this thread too. Lots of posters there have been where you are now.

Have you heard of cvs? I'd imagine they'll offer you this and since it's done at 13 weeks you won't have long to decide to make an appointment, so maybe it's best for you to look up the pros and cons of it so you can say on Monday if you want it.

slippermaiden · 06/08/2015 23:39

Is it gastroschisis? I the intestines on the outside? Those babies can do well with surgery. I don't know much about Downs tho xThanks

Artfooldodger · 06/08/2015 23:42

Hello, we had a very similar & totally distressing 12 week scan. Our baby was diagnosed with an exomphalos (don't google it as Google is not your friend at this point). We were told baby had a 1 in 1026 possibility of Down Syndrome, but a 1 in 4 possibility of Edward or Patau syndrome which are considered incompatible with life. I had a cvs which came back clear. Our baby is now a little boy tucked up in bed. He was in hospital for 2 weeks after birth after having an operation the day after birth.
If you are told your little one has an exomphalos or gastrischisis look for our support group on Facebook. It's a closed group so you can "talk" to us in privacy without any of your Facebook contacts seeing anything.
We also have a basic website which is being updated soon - www.geeps.co.uk
In the meantime, sending love & strength to you xxx
Ps feel free to PM me if at all helpful xxx

HotToast · 06/08/2015 23:56

You poor, poor thing. All the waiting in a situation like that is so awful. While you're waiting, do reach out to your friends and family – and your hubby, of course. I'm sure they will wrap you up in their love and support and that will help you get through until you know more. Things may not be as bad as you think. I've got everything crossed for you. x

TakesTwoToTango · 07/08/2015 03:50

I'm sorry you had such worrying news today op. The wait until Monday must feel like forever. In case it helps with the wait, maybe hold in mind that babies grow quickly at this stage so each day that passes will hopefully make your baby a bit bigger and it a bit easier for the consultant to see everything they need to see on Monday and give you more conclusive information. I hope that helps.

AnotherGirlsParadise · 07/08/2015 04:37

Oh darling Flowers My heart goes out to you both. PPs have given some really good advice, just hang in there if you can, I know Monday seems forever away. Thinking of you x

Josie314 · 07/08/2015 04:47

I'm so sorry. I had a baby that was diagnosed with serious heart issues at the 20 week scan, and then we had to wait a week to find out how bad it was. That week was very long. I hope you have people you can lean on in real life (and lots of cake!)

One thing the consultant did which I found very helpful was write down all the key words of the diagnosis and draw a diagram of what the problem was. My husband and I were upset and a bit in shock and taking notes didn't even occur to us, but during the next few weeks it really helped me that I knew what to research.

My 18 month old is also tucked up in bed now and doing fine. It is not always as bad as it seems at first.

Baffledmumtoday · 07/08/2015 07:14

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Baffledmumtoday · 07/08/2015 07:15

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Baffledmumtoday · 07/08/2015 07:19

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SweepTheHalls · 07/08/2015 07:24

I have no experience or advice, but always a hand hold. I am so sorry that you have to wait until Monday to find out more and move forward from this horrible limbo Flowers and lots of Cake

christinarossetti · 07/08/2015 07:30

So sorry that you're going through this.

You could give ARC - antenatal results and choices - a call today.

Tollygunge · 07/08/2015 07:30

I've been here, so I know how it feels. If you can try ARC, they're an antenatal results and choices helpline. They're wonderful. Also, I found it helped to get a second opinion at a private clinic- if you're near FMC in Harley street, London they might see you today/tomorrow? Best wishes.

MNHQ
YetAnotherBeckyMumsnet · 07/08/2015 11:12

Hello OP, Flowers for you.

We are just moving this over to antenatal tests as you requested.

Best wishes
MNHQ

Original poster
acsec · 07/08/2015 19:50

Slippermaiden I don't know fully as I don't think I took it all in. I will ask on Monday.
Thank you again to everyone, I appreciate all the advice and support.

OP posts:
SaggyAndLucy · 09/08/2015 11:46

First things first, keep breathing.
Secondly, Downs isn't the end of the world. My DD 18months has DS. She's bloody brilliant. She sleeps all night and has done since birth, eats whatever you put in front of her, smiles all day long and has a multitude of fans. she's by far the easiest child I ever had.
It hasn't been easy, she had a serious heart defect and had open heart surgery at 12 weeks, but despite that, the day we found out was still as bad as it ever was.
Obviously everyone makes the choices that are best for them, and quite rightly, but I just wanted to add some balance to the thread. The two words that I would apply to her are Perfect, and Joy!
Even the bowel defects aren't the end of the world. They probably seem MASSIVE right now, but medicine nowadays is amazing. DD is totally fixed. She hasn't been ill a day since the op.
My advice would be to take time to think. Weigh up your options and don't make any hasty decisions. xx

Gizmo2206 · 09/08/2015 18:04

You poor thing, it's very difficult to have a scan that doesn't turn out the way you imagined (I know how I felt when it happened to me!). Hopefully your consultant will be able to give you a clearer picture, he/ she may actually tell you things aren't as bad as you are imagining. Whilst scary, having a diagnosis whilst baby is still in the womb can help you make an informed choice and hopefully prepare for any treatment your baby might need. I hope that the consultant gives you good news.