Please help - don't know if I'm in the right topic and don't want to offend

[JaneFonda]

I had twin DDs in August, and after a really tough time (they were premature) they are progressing really well.

I'm really, really struggling. I POAS on Wednesday, and again yesterday and today, and I'm pregnant again.

I don't know if I can cope. I don't even know if this is the right board to post on about considering an abortion, I can't think straight and I just really don't know what to do. :( Would really, really appreciate any kind words or advice anyone can offer.

So, so sorry if this is the wrong board and I've upset anyone :(

firstly

and then another fot good measure

obviously I can't tell you what to do but if I were you I'd break it down into two problems...

1, getting help and support with the twins
2, considering the new pregnancy

the first you need to solve whatever you decided about the second... does that make sense?

You poor thing.
What about the father - what are his thoughts? Or do you not feel able to tell him until you've got your own thoughts together?

DP works away quite often - he's in Manchester until Wednesday and it doesn't feel right to tell him over the phone. I've not told anyone else.

We have two DS's - 5 and (nearly) 8, and our two DDs.

It seems so incredibly selfish, but I don't know how I'd cope with having five (or possibly even six - what with twins) children.

The twins aren't a big problem anymore (oh that sounds awful, not sure how to word it), as in they're doing really well and have been out of hospital for a while, so they're really just catching up.

I feel awful and selfish and horrid for not being over the moon about it :(

You poor thing. This is a decision that only the two of you can make, but if it helps I think it is completely understandable that you would want to consider terminating this pregnancy given how much you have on your plate already.

BPAS should be able to give you advice and counselling so do give them a call.

i hope you reach a decision you can feel at peace with and wish you all the best either way.

I'm so sorry. All I can offer is kind words because I have no advice. That sounds really tough. My perspectives are a) my mum was pg again when I was 3 months old and my sister and I are now in our 40s. Point is, tough times pass. But I know you've been through the mill with your twins so maybe you feel you are not strong enough yet. And b) I have had a termination myself for different reasons. It's very valid. Not being ready again (or ever) is a valid reason. And no, I've never, ever regretted it.

That's not at all intended as advice. Just as a couple of reflections, hopefully to help you see that you have choices and either is valid.

I see that this is not what you wanted for right now. I hope you feel reassured that you will get some thoughtful people listening to you on here.

Okay, a really silly question here, I know.

I did another test this morning (yes, I've been frantically weeing!) and it was negative, as well as one about an hour ago which was also negative.

Incredibly confused now, am I pregnant or not? I can't stop thinking about it, I'm trying to take my mind off things but I feel horrid.