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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Is this baby blues?

1 reply

FGSholdthedoor · 11/12/2017 19:30

I'm currently sat here crying.

I have a 1 week old baby and I feel like my life will never be normal again. I also have a 2.5 year old.

I feel like I've just started really enjoying the age my older DS is at and the bit of independence that comes with it and now it's all gone and I can't pay him that attention anymore and I have a EBF baby stuck on me 24/7. I'm getting a lump in my throat just typing this.

My baby hates being put down and because I'm EBF I'm basically tied to it for the foreseeable future and no one else, DP included can settle him, it's all on me.
My toddler sleeps through the night which is something I've been extremely grateful for as I got some time with DP and now that's gone too, I can't even have a cuddle in bed with him as the baby is up as soon as I put it down.

I randomly get little moments where I just burst out crying because I feel like I won't be able to cope with this, I'm sad at missing this lovely age with my toddler and I start panicking and have to focus on my breathing. I'm scared as I don't know what it will all look like in the next year or two...

I feel sad, lost, devastated, tied down and like my independence has been stolen from me and to top it off I feel guilty of feeling like this as my little baby did nothing wrong and is beautiful in every way.

I broke down and sobbed in front of DP last night as I was fruitlessly trying to soothe the baby without having to BF it to sleep as he had just fed and he was just screaming and wanting to comfort feed which is my biggest frustration as I'm scared we will struggle with sleep in the future if It carries on.

I haven't told DP this yet and I don't really want to as I feel like I'll be judged.

I'm hoping someone wiser than me will tell me if this sound like normal baby blues? And will it pass?

Sorry for such a long read btw.

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AllTheWayDown · 13/12/2017 10:32

Didn't want to read and run, but at 1 weeks after childbirth I think it's normal to feel that way. My dd is 7mo and for the first few days after she was born I was sort just in a daze and everything felt a bit surreal if that makes sense. Then I think on day 3 for quite a few weeks after I felt exactly how you are feeling. And I too felt awful for feeling like that. I didn't breast feed so sadly I can't relate to you there but dd seemed to need feeding every hour - 2 hours and took nearly an hour to feed so I was just constantly feeding her. I think it was also a comfort thing. From what I've read from other women on here who bf, don't worry about sleep for now, if he's comforted by feeding from you then just let him feed. Don't stress yourself or your baby out by trying not to get into a habit, especially at 1 week old, he's still brand new and figuring everything out. Once he's a little older you can then maybe start to try and establish soothing in different ways.
Could you express so your dh could feed him too giving you a little time with your toddler?

I think the way you're feeling is just a case of baby blues and many women experience it. It lasts longer for some than others but it will pass. If you feel like it's not then have a chat with your Midwife or health visitor and they can put you in touch with a great team who can give you all the help you need. Thanks

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