I think I've really screwed up this time

[IsThisRockBottom]

I'm in an absolute panic.

I have pnd and anxiety. I've been feeling suicidal on and off for over a year. Yesterday I took ds to the dr and let my anxiety get the better of me. I was in such a state that I wasn't thinking straight and told the dr I felt suicidal and sometimes thought about taking the children with me. I'm such an idiot.

Anyway, he's an over zealous fucker who is always covering his own back rather than actually caring for his patients so of course he's now referred me to children's services. I asked him not to but he said he had to.

Things are now a million times worse. I feel sick all the time. I'm terrified. I'm desperately trying to protect my children from my depression but I'm not sure how much more I can take.

Please help me. What can I do about ss? Will they investigate me?

Ps I'm a regular but have name changed please don't out me if you recognise me thank you

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. Honestly, the Dr really had no choice but to refer, but I really hope you'll find SS can offer you the support you need.

Do ss really offer support?

I'm so scared that they're going to turn up and drag the children off for some awful examinations and interrogations and we're all going to be even more traumatised than we already are.

They will want to keep your children with you as long as it's safe for them.

Truthfully, OP, if you were the doctor and someone came in saying they wanted to kill themselves and their children, what would you do?

Please take as much help as you can. It sounds as though you really need it.

Gp had to refer you. You need help and your dc need to be safe.

I'd try to help. I have had friends admit before that they have thought about harming their children. I took no action other than to support them. None of the children have ever been hurt.

I'm really sorry you're going through this op, it's really hard. But can you not see the doctors point of view? If someone is having thoughts about killing themselves and their children he can't really turn a blind eye

OP how would you have felt if your friend did harm their dc? This isn't about covering himself, it's about making sure you and your dc are safe. You need help, most people don't think about harming themselves or their dc. Please accept the help. When you're well again you will be thankful

I'm going to hide this thread now it was yet another mistake I didn't think all the replies would focus on support for the dr rather than for me. I feel worse.

Don't go. I've been sectioned twice with PND. And it's very hard to get things into perspective sometimes.