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Antenatal/postnatal depression

Our Antenatal and Postnatal Depression forum is a supportive space where you can share your postnatal depression experiences.

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Original poster

Pretty sure I have PND...what do I do now?

21 replies

SheldorAFK · 02/10/2013 20:10

Speak to the Samaritans every night as I have no RL support but its getting worse. Please help, whoa should I speak to? GP? HV?

What will happen? Will they involve ss as they'll see me as an unfit mother?

OP posts:

ninjanurse · 02/10/2013 20:16

I would go and talk to your GP but I would also contact your health visitor and ask to see them. They can provide you with support and listening visits. They may be able to link you in with other services who can help you. They wont involve social services (unless there are other reasons) for post natal depression - there are lots of women who suffer from this. Please don't feel you are alone.

How old is your child? Do you have a partner or family near by?

sparklingsea · 02/10/2013 20:17

Go and see your GP. Mine was really kind and supportive when I went in a complete state with anti natal depression. Make that first step to get the help you deserve. They will have seen it many many times before, how old is your baby?

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 02/10/2013 21:15

Toddler is 22 months baby is 5 weeks old

OP posts:

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 02/10/2013 21:18

I have no family apart from dh and he works very long hours and often is away for 5 nights etc. Harmed myself tonight. I truly hate myself.

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WinkyWinkola · 02/10/2013 21:22

Where do you live Sheldor?

You sound very alone.

MNers can also help in RL.

Please see you GP ASAP.

You sound like a very capable person if you're parenting whilst your dh is away so much.

midwifeandmum · 02/10/2013 21:28

NO!!! No one will think u are a bad mother or unfit. This is such a common illness. 1 in 10 of us ladies will develope this illness. I had it after my dd1 4 years ago. If ur still under mw care- speak to them. If not, speak to who u feel more comfortable with i.e. Gp or HV.

Please dont keep this to urself, this illness does not discriminate- rich, poor, great family or no family.

We dont know what the cause for PND is but we know it is very common.

Please, I beg u, go speak to someone. There is plenty help out there. I had gd support from gp and mw colleagues

Best of luck huni
Zoe xx

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 07:39

Live in london...will make a GP app today and speak to the HV.

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Editededition · 03/10/2013 07:45

Sweetheart, they will not see you as an unfit mother.
MY DD was diagnosed with PND fairly recently, and is already so much better than before.
Please make the appointment today ....so you can start to feel better.

EmpireBiscuit · 03/10/2013 08:25

Speak to your GP ASAP, don't be fobbed off, refuse to leave the surgery until they help you.

You are not a bad mother, your children love you very much and you deserve to have them.

Get well soon.

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 12:32

I told my best friend that I hate my children and regretted having them which isn't true at all...hate myself for saying that. No doctors appointments available today will call the health visitor though. Feel like such a failure. My mother told me I wouldn't be able to cope and she was right...she refused to talk to me because of it. I have no one to speak to except dh, mn and the samaritans.

OP posts:

WinkyWinkola · 03/10/2013 13:06

Well you're going to say things like that because you're in a dark place right now with no support.

WinkyWinkola · 03/10/2013 13:07

When did the GP's receptionist say the next available appointment is?

EmpireBiscuit · 03/10/2013 13:40

Not good enough on the GPs front - did you explain to the receptionist that you've harmed yourself and need urgent help?

You are feeling brave enough to face the issue today, and that is really brave, so please follow through and demand appropriate help.

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 14:15

I spoke to the health visitor and I've come away from it feeling incredibly low and worthless. She asked me some generic questions then said they were very busy and couldn't send anyone out to see me. She said to wait until Monday when I have my 6 week postnatal appointment at the doctors and to speak to the GP then, and then cme and see her afterwards.

I have reached out to so many people for help - dh, friends, the health visitor, can't even see the doctor til Monday and no one seems to want to see me. I feel like sh*t and worthless. I don't understand why no one will help me, I don't know what else to do and don't want my children seeing me cry all the time. The smallest things become huge issues for me, I am finding my self constantly telling my eldest off, have already harmed myself and don't want to do it again.

I can't believe I feel this way and don't want to feel this way.

Dh says I have to take the antidepressants the GP will give me...I don't wat to take antidepressants, I want to see someone professional and feel like I have someone to talk to about how I'm feeling and how I feel like I'm drowning.dh was almost angry with me last night and said there wa
s no way he could go away with work on a jolly next week now which made me feel like it was my fault I felt this way. He kept saying that he has no choice but to take paternity leave and look after the children and for me to go back to work which made me feel even worse and I feel like I would fall apart if that was to happen. I want to look after my children I just want some support to do so.

Sorry for rambling....I'm so tired and exhausted from feeling this way.

OP posts:

EmpireBiscuit · 03/10/2013 15:07

I'm suffering from PND as well, 4 months of ADs and I'm starting to come out the other side. It is a hormone imbalance in your head, ADs are the quickest and most effective way to treat PND. Contrary to popular belief they are not addictive.

Phone the GP office directly and ask to be seen today, you have self harmed which makes you (in my eyes) an emergency.

EmpireBiscuit · 03/10/2013 15:09

Have you suffered from depression before? Why are you so against taking ADs?

As an aside, your "d"H needs to start being more supportive.

Original poster

SheldorAFK · 03/10/2013 18:04

I'm not against taking antidepressants I just feel like I need support and to regularly tall to someone. ..I worry they'll give me antidepressants and that will be the end of it and they'll forget about helping me. Had a better day today but syoll feel low and like I'm a fraud like I'm a failure as a mum but pretending to everyone that I'm doing well.

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stillhopefulforanother · 04/10/2013 22:25

Hey there. I have a two year old and a two week old. I am struggling too. I love them so so much but I am finding it hard. I've had very little support since DD birth and have managed alone really. I think a large part of his you are feeling is lack of support. I've felt low and panicky and emotional. Pat yourself on the back for coping and managing. You are not alone. You sound like a wonderful mummy.

BotBotticelli · 19/10/2013 09:52

In no other culture on earth would a woman be expected to cope on her own with two such young children - it's no wonder you are really struggling. It would be enough to push anyone to their limits. And if you have PND as well then you really need some help - this is not your fault: it is an illness and it can be treated. Pleae call your HV and go back and tell them you have self harmed and that you need urgent help. Can you ask to speak to a different health visitor? There are usually a few attached to each surgery...keep asking till you find a nice sympathetic person who is prepared to listen to you.

Where are you in London? I am in SE London near Bexley and at home at the moment with 10mo DS. I have also had PnD but am coming out the other side now. If you are nearby and want to meet up next week let me know, am happy to listen xx

NoPartyDay · 19/10/2013 10:45

so true that it takes a village to raise a child
the early years of our children's lives can be so very draining and isolating if we dont have a supportive network of family, friends and local community

your mum was very wrong to refuse to speak with you just when you needed her
your dh needs to settle down, stop panicking, plan a short break, not necessarily swapping roles,
all you are experiencing is quite common -i had it too hun,
please dont be hard on yourself, esp considering your situation
this will start to get better, esp now with support from gp and counselling

Mmmmlovingit · 19/10/2013 21:58

Sheldor there is a nationwide charity called Home Start who I am sure could help you out with some support alongside seeing your GP. There are 22 offices from what I can see throughout London, they provide volunteers (who are all parents) to come out and visit for three hours each week helping or offering support where you need it. If you go onto their website I am sure that you can self refer to them for some support- there's a form online, or your GP/HV can do a referral on your behalf.
You are not alone and the hardest part is admitting that you need some extra help- you are very brave!! Contacting a service such as Home Start will mean that you will have some weekly support and someone to talk to about how you are feeling, alongside help from your GP and health visitor .

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