Cannot muster any positivity

[polkadotsrock]

I am 16+3 with dc2. And I am utterly bemused as to why we thought this was a good idea. I'm dreading having two kids, I am convinced I'll be shit at it and just can't fathom up any positive images of how life will be come November.
We are moving in 3 weeks and I'm looking forward to not really knowing anyone so I can be left alone. I could and would just sleep all day if I didn't have ds to take care of.
I'm starting to lose faith in my DH, though I'm quite sure I'm exaggerating his faults. He's an excellent husband and daddy, I know this, I just can't feel it right now.
I'm seeing my mw on Thursday and I think I need to chat with her about this, but I don't want the hassle, it's very tempting to just say I'm fine. I tried to talk to DH last night but I think he's a bit bemused by the whole thing. I'd like to talk to someone who has been through similar but I can't decide if I think it's actually something to worry about or just that I'm pregnant and tired with a toddler.
Not really sure what I want anyone to say, just wanted to get that out.

OP you've got such a lot on your plate at the moment. Moving house and the uncertainty it brings is really stressful - I've been through this myself recently (found out I was pg after a MC the day before we moved, and struggled with it all too). No wonder you are having trouble visualising the future.

I also think when you have persistent low mood it can dull your feelings of love for your partner - it's not that you don't love them, it's just that you are generally feeling fewer positive emotions.

If I were you I would seek some support from my GP and/or midwife. Dont just pretend you are fine - you are obviously worried about the way you feel. If you do have mild depression there are lots of things you can try and support you can get to alleviate it. CBT has helped me.

Thank you for responding. I think you may be right but I'm hating the thought of talking about it as I worry that being labelled as mildly depressed will actually make me worse, does that make sense?
I am struggling to 'feel' much at the minute. When DH and I were talking last night he asked if I feel sad and I couldn't honestly say I do- I just don't really 'feel' at all.
No you're definitely right, I would benefit from some sort of talking therapy I think but just need to take myself seriously enough to ask for it, I keep just telling myself I'll manage to sort it out.
Thanks again