Having another bad day

[3plus2]

Feeling so crap, will this ever pass ? I feel so bad for my kids :( tell myself when I pick them up I will b a good mummy today and hug them and love them , but it doesn't happen cause I'm so miserable :(

No support really my mum doesn't think it's depression she thinks it hormonal my DP works I jus sit at home alone all day .... Pretty crap really

They are 4 8 and 3 months :) I have pnd an unsupportive gp a some crappy ad's which I won't take so I'm battling it alone and I'm so horrible sometimes then I feel so guilty I have a bad day like today where I just sit and hide at home ...

My gp was hopeless jus shoved these ad's in my hand and said come back in two weeks I took one I was nrly falling asleep all day I can't look after a baby like that :( I don't like talking to hv's etc I find them a bit patronising , but maybe that's just me ? I always tell myself we will do a baby group I get as far as the door and then walk back I just can't face it at the moment I'm just not as confident as I was :( my DP just thinks I'm over stressing myself and tells me not too as I come across snappy a lot of the time but Im just so touchy . I just feel my kids are having rubbish childhood and I'm scared because they are growing too quick and I'm wasting time I should be enjoying with them ifyswim?

I am going to try my best to get out today I'm gearing myself up to go out it just takes a while but I will do it toady .

They gave me seroxat it's nasty and highly addictive and makes you gain weight and made me feel awful like I had taken a bad drug which made me have a panic attack and forget where I was ! I explained this to gp she fobbed me off saying they don't cause those side effects ? My baby also slept all day after taking them ? I am really not up to swapping gp's I struggle just to put my shoes on it really takes all my effort let alone dragging myself back to gp :(

Thanks bear I know I will be ok it's just taking soooo long ......

Getting there trying to keep as normal as possible :( I'm go from bouncing and happy one minute then right at the bottom the next it's so hard. :(