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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my friend has done this on purpose?? **Thread contains rugby score spoilers**

56 replies

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 17:29

I've always been a big rugby fan and obviously six nations on at the moment - loving it.

My friend knows I've been watching all the games - particularly Scotland where I hail from Grin and even though she doesn't watch herself, she will message to say "omg 22-7 (or whatever) they're doing so well!" through a game. Obviously googling the score and texting to be supportive.

So Scotland v Italy today. We were texting this morning and she sends me a YouTube video and asks "have you ever heard this song before?" I say "sorry I'm out just now, I'll listen to it when I get home". She goes "oh, are you not watching the match today?" This was at 12.15. Game started at 12.30. I said "no, got a lot on today so I'll catch it later
Don't go messaging me the live scores today! Grin" She says "OK, I'll just tell you if they're winning or not". I said "no, please don't tell me anything about the game!!" She says "OK Grin, enjoy your day out".

And that was that, no further messages until about 10 minutes ago where she messaged "Scotland won!" Hmm I said "I asked you to please not tell me anything about the match!!!!" She said "oh I thought you asked me what the score was". Then she immediately deleted the "Scotland won" message. Wtf? I said "no, I asked you not to tell me anything!! I've been deliberately staying off social media all day so I wouldn't find out the result!!!!" and she just sent back "OK".

That was it. Just "OK". I know there are bigger things to be concerned about but isn't this the most deliberate gas-lighty nonsense you've ever seen Angry

Thread edited by MNHQ to add a spoiler alert

OP posts:
Merangutan · 18/03/2023 17:33

She’s hugely irritating, I’m afraid. Tell her that because you told her twice very clearly and she still ‘misunderstood’, you will be putting her messages on silent for future games until you’ve had chance to find out for yourself.

BabychamGlass · 18/03/2023 17:36

I think your thread also probably needed a spoiler alert 😂

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 17:38

BabychamGlass · 18/03/2023 17:36

I think your thread also probably needed a spoiler alert 😂

Oh Grin You're right, I've potentially just done the same to someone else now! Oops!! Sorry to anyone who is interested but hasn't watched it!

OP posts:
TheChosenTwo · 18/03/2023 17:38

I can’t get over the fact that she just generally Google’s the score of something she doesn’t give a shit about just to message you about it 😱 I find that weird behaviour full stop.
And what she did today was just mean.

DizzyLizzyKizzy · 18/03/2023 17:40

Silly mare! My sister has form for this, bloody irritating!

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 17:40

TheChosenTwo · 18/03/2023 17:38

I can’t get over the fact that she just generally Google’s the score of something she doesn’t give a shit about just to message you about it 😱 I find that weird behaviour full stop.
And what she did today was just mean.

She is a bit strange with things like that.

Like when I'm going on holiday. She will ask me where I'm going (fine, normal) but then google everything about the location, and tell me what attractions there are there, what pubs to go to, what restaurants to visit, send me stock photos of the scenery there etc etc.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 18/03/2023 17:42

Well she's all kinds of annoying and peculiar since she is not interested in rugby!

Tell her to STFU next time!

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 17:42

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 17:40

She is a bit strange with things like that.

Like when I'm going on holiday. She will ask me where I'm going (fine, normal) but then google everything about the location, and tell me what attractions there are there, what pubs to go to, what restaurants to visit, send me stock photos of the scenery there etc etc.

She's even gone as far as delving into the menu. She'll say "oh there's x restaurant about 30 minutes drive from where you're staying", she'll tell me all about the place and send me the menu and go "look, it serves macaroni cheese - that's one of your favourites" Confused

OP posts:
LakieLady · 18/03/2023 17:44

I'd be unfriending her!

Both the games that have been on so far were really good, imo, so you've got some great telly watching to look forward to.

The third one has been a bit "meh" so far.

Starseeed · 18/03/2023 17:45

Really odd - she must have raving people-pleaser tendencies! Maybe you could have a gentle chat about it with her and reassure her that she doesn’t need to do all of that to still have you as a friend.

CircleofWillis · 18/03/2023 17:45

You can report your post and ask MN to edit your title to 'Warning Rugby Gsme Spoiler Alert'

BillyMack · 18/03/2023 17:46

I would be distancing myself from her if this happened to me. It’s not accidental. It’s cuntish behaviour for no reason.

Drifta · 18/03/2023 17:46

If this is about a match today you could ask MNHQ to add a spoiler alert.

You kind of lose the moral high ground by hiding the result in a thread that doesn't even mention rugby in the title 😂

SupplyIsLimited · 18/03/2023 17:51

That has to be intentional. She's weird, and I'd be annoyed with her. If probably ignore her for a while to send the message that actions have consequences.

picklemewalnuts · 18/03/2023 17:52

She's connecting with you by forwarding bits of conversations she's having with other people, I reckon!

I've a friend who'll have several similar chats on the go, and will forward/send to several people at once.

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 17:52

I was just about to report my thread but I see someone has done it for me. Thank you! I've become the monster I've been ranting about Grin

OP posts:
billy1966 · 18/03/2023 17:59

Deliberately mean, doesn't listen, doesn't care, just wants to spoil the surprise.

Really strange.

Perfect excuse to block her number and be done.

I wouldn't trust someone like that as far as I could throw them.

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:03

I'm glad I'm not overreacting. I haven't replied to her "OK" message. I'm 99% certain she's just going to text tomorrow morning like nothing happened.

She's peculiar but this is the first time she's been downright mean.

OP posts:
FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:12

picklemewalnuts · 18/03/2023 17:52

She's connecting with you by forwarding bits of conversations she's having with other people, I reckon!

I've a friend who'll have several similar chats on the go, and will forward/send to several people at once.

This thought did cross my mind a couple of times. She has sent messages like "so what's for dinner tonight then?" just generic like. And I've said back "I'm having spag bol, we literally just spoke about that 2 hours ago?" and she'll say "oh yeah, I forgot".

OP posts:
GMOOH2023 · 18/03/2023 18:13

We had this with my MIL in the early 90s. She was very kindly babysitting for us and there was an England World Cup match on. She did mention that she might have a look at the football on TV so we told her on no uncertain terms that we would watch the highlights and on no account was she to tell us the score.

Got back and as soon as we came through the front door we both reminded her not to tell us about the football. "OK" she said "but such a shame for England to go out like that"

Gaaaaaaaaaggggh!!

"But I didn't tell you the score" was her reply.

😡

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:15

I've recently separated from my ex-DP who used to insist on a roast every Sunday. Ever since we split, I've never cooked a roast. I've told my friend this and told her how much I was looking forward to eating whatever the hell i wanted on a Sunday. But every Sunday without fail, she messages "cooking a roast today?" and I have to say "no??" Every. Time.

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/03/2023 18:17

I think she thinks it is funny to wind you up and to tease you.

Its incredibly annoying because from your examples, she clearly doesn't pay any attention or listen to anything you've said quite clearly.

I would put someone like this on mute during match days, which would have solved the problem. As to the repeated dinner requests - I would just ignore the second ones and mute.

but also would have to consider if you really want someone annoying and winding you up like this on a regular basis.
It maybe that she has other good qualities however. Only you can weigh this up and decide if its innocent mistakes and harmless (but she chooses not to listen to you or ignore requests) or if she's doing it for some kind of entertainment.

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:17

GMOOH2023 · 18/03/2023 18:13

We had this with my MIL in the early 90s. She was very kindly babysitting for us and there was an England World Cup match on. She did mention that she might have a look at the football on TV so we told her on no uncertain terms that we would watch the highlights and on no account was she to tell us the score.

Got back and as soon as we came through the front door we both reminded her not to tell us about the football. "OK" she said "but such a shame for England to go out like that"

Gaaaaaaaaaggggh!!

"But I didn't tell you the score" was her reply.

😡

Oh lord, that's frustrating. I suspect my friend will be the same, "but I never told you the score!"

OP posts:
Mochudubh · 18/03/2023 18:20

She's well out of order and I would be giving her a stern talking to. In the meantime, console yourself with the thought of how much worse it could have been if she texted you they'd lost. I think the friendship would be over if that happened.

picklemewalnuts · 18/03/2023 18:20

She's keeping herself busy and engaged by interacting with loads of people. She feels part of it by being in lots of conversations. But she pays attention to none of them.