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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think my friend has done this on purpose?? **Thread contains rugby score spoilers**

56 replies

FireofLife · 18/03/2023 17:29

I've always been a big rugby fan and obviously six nations on at the moment - loving it.

My friend knows I've been watching all the games - particularly Scotland where I hail from Grin and even though she doesn't watch herself, she will message to say "omg 22-7 (or whatever) they're doing so well!" through a game. Obviously googling the score and texting to be supportive.

So Scotland v Italy today. We were texting this morning and she sends me a YouTube video and asks "have you ever heard this song before?" I say "sorry I'm out just now, I'll listen to it when I get home". She goes "oh, are you not watching the match today?" This was at 12.15. Game started at 12.30. I said "no, got a lot on today so I'll catch it later
Don't go messaging me the live scores today! Grin" She says "OK, I'll just tell you if they're winning or not". I said "no, please don't tell me anything about the game!!" She says "OK Grin, enjoy your day out".

And that was that, no further messages until about 10 minutes ago where she messaged "Scotland won!" Hmm I said "I asked you to please not tell me anything about the match!!!!" She said "oh I thought you asked me what the score was". Then she immediately deleted the "Scotland won" message. Wtf? I said "no, I asked you not to tell me anything!! I've been deliberately staying off social media all day so I wouldn't find out the result!!!!" and she just sent back "OK".

That was it. Just "OK". I know there are bigger things to be concerned about but isn't this the most deliberate gas-lighty nonsense you've ever seen Angry

Thread edited by MNHQ to add a spoiler alert

OP posts:
Original poster
FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:20

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/03/2023 18:17

I think she thinks it is funny to wind you up and to tease you.

Its incredibly annoying because from your examples, she clearly doesn't pay any attention or listen to anything you've said quite clearly.

I would put someone like this on mute during match days, which would have solved the problem. As to the repeated dinner requests - I would just ignore the second ones and mute.

but also would have to consider if you really want someone annoying and winding you up like this on a regular basis.
It maybe that she has other good qualities however. Only you can weigh this up and decide if its innocent mistakes and harmless (but she chooses not to listen to you or ignore requests) or if she's doing it for some kind of entertainment.

How can it be innocent mistakes and "forgetting" though? She reads my messages (blue tick), she responds to them, but it's like she's got a set list of phrases "every Sunday at 11am, ask Fireof if she's cooking a roast today" It must be deliberate, surely?

OP posts:
Original poster
FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:24

And for someone that clearly knows how to Google, she also picks her moments.

She messaged me yesterday saying she had to take the day off work because she's so tired and had to stay in bed all day. She threw in that she'd had her blood sugar levels checked and they were 150 and asked "is that high?" I googled and relayed back to her "yes that's very high!" And she then changes the subject and never mentions it again!

OP posts:
Berlinlover · 18/03/2023 18:26

She sounds like she has a lot of time on her hands.

Original poster
FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:28

Berlinlover · 18/03/2023 18:26

She sounds like she has a lot of time on her hands.

She's 37. Still lives with her parents, and works 10 hours a week in a library. (Not that there's anything wrong with being a librarian!)

OP posts:
Spiderboy · 18/03/2023 18:29

Sounds like she ain’t great at understanding social boundaries. However in this case she may have figured that by 5pm you’d already be aware of who won?

Original poster
FireofLife · 18/03/2023 18:32

Spiderboy · 18/03/2023 18:29

Sounds like she ain’t great at understanding social boundaries. However in this case she may have figured that by 5pm you’d already be aware of who won?

I thought so too but surely after being asked twice not to tell me anything, the first question should have been "have you watched it yet?"

OP posts:
chipsandpeas · 18/03/2023 18:36

start blocking her when you know shes going to be like this

Inject · 18/03/2023 18:44

She's a sad loser with no life of her own. The fool does not even follow it but will search a score to text! Pathetic woman. Dump her. Oh, she did it on purpose to add some drama to her sad life.

WhereIsMyRefund · 18/03/2023 18:49

She sounds a bit needy, a bit bored and too much time on her hands.

I have a friend who sometimes texts me unasked-for info on something I am doing or a restaurant I am visiting. I find it rather irritating.

derbylass81 · 18/03/2023 19:30

She sounds unbelievably annoying. Do you get anything from the friendship, OP?

Sorry to say I'd probably dump her. She sounds hard work. Far too much time on her hands and sounds like she's doing fuck all constructive with it.

Twilight7777 · 18/03/2023 19:34

She’s pushing against your boundaries, honestly would be reconsidering whether she’s actually a friend or a frenemy. Had a similar ‘friend’ who would constantly push against boundaries, she is no longer my friend. Found friends that wouldn’t do that to me.

Tiani4 · 19/03/2023 09:26

Your friend is somebody that spoils things

You can put her texts on mute or temporarily block her number if there something you don't want spoilt.

It sounds like she has too much time on her hands - works 10 hours a week and lives with her parents? Unless she's a main carer to her parents and she's managing the house, she has very little to do ...

Tiani4 · 19/03/2023 09:29

Also I now know what team won... before I watched highlights
My mouth will no worries shut or I'll start my conversations with Rugby loving son who was out yesterday, with "have you had a chance to watch rugby yet?"

Torvean · 19/03/2023 09:37

I've a group of friends/family who live the game. I'd never message about the game unless I knew someone was def watching.
I did have someone text me the score during the world cup. I was doing a sponsored event that day. I'd told ppl not to tell me.

RichardsGear · 19/03/2023 09:41

'Cooking a roast?' texts wouldn't get a reply if i was in your situation.

squashyhat · 19/03/2023 10:00

I see nobody so far has mentioned the most obvious solution. Switch your phone off.

Lovingitallnow · 19/03/2023 10:08

I took the kids to a soft play one of the days, and two dads who were there start loudly discussing the score in the last 5 mins of the match. I personally wouldn't have watched anyway. But my mother and brother will regularly record and watch the entire match not just the highlights and I thought it was really rude. Fair enough when it's over, but it was literally still on.

clpsmum · 19/03/2023 10:16

@FireofLife even if you know the score still watch. I was at the game and it was brilliant. Your friend is very annoying. Can you mute her in future?

Original poster
FireofLife · 19/03/2023 17:27

As predicted, she messaged me at 8am this morning with a "Good morning. How are you today?"

I accidentally clicked on it so she knew I'd read it (WhatsApp) but I didn't reply. She then messaged around 9.30 saying "Good morning?? How are you?" Again, I haven't replied (or opened this one).

I've just had a little mooch on Insta and she's sent me a message there too around midday, just "Hi" We've never messaged on Insta.

I feel a bit petty now ignoring her, but I'm still a bit pissed off. 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
BillyMack · 19/03/2023 18:51

She sounds like she’s quite high maintenance & hard work?

Thepossibility · 19/03/2023 20:22

She sounds a bit dim and lonely.

Butchyrestingface · 19/03/2023 20:25

She's even gone as far as delving into the menu. She'll say "oh there's x restaurant about 30 minutes drive from where you're staying", she'll tell me all about the place and send me the menu and go "look, it serves macaroni cheese - that's one of your favourites" Confused

Have you seen Single White Female, OP?

Nooyoiknooyoik · 19/03/2023 20:25

Starseeed · 18/03/2023 17:45

Really odd - she must have raving people-pleaser tendencies! Maybe you could have a gentle chat about it with her and reassure her that she doesn’t need to do all of that to still have you as a friend.

Good advice.

Ktime · 19/03/2023 20:39

I would not have the patience for her.

BashfulClam · 19/03/2023 20:51

My mum does this. A few years ago she came round at Christmas. I said I was going to see the film Last Christmas in a few days. She says ‘oh we seen that, it was sad when you realised he was dead and she has his heart!’ I said ‘I’ve not seen it, do you realise what you’ve done?’ She just ignored me and I didn’t bother to see it at the cinema!

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