*Contains graphic photo* - To not go back until all completely healed?

Wow you poor thing that looks sore, combined with the unexpected diagnosis you should absolutely take time off and look after yourself.

I hope the next stage of investigations goes well for you.

YANB. Look after yourself first, then worry about your job. Get the sick note.

Your boss should not be messaging you like that whilst you’re on sick leave. Please report him to HR.

So- in a nutshell,
A) you have had surgery and are expecting more in the very near future, currently unwell on two fronts 1) post surgical healing 2) recovery from infection.
B) You have a physically demanding job. The surgery is effectively on a joint upon which you will, by the nature of your job, place under more stress/pressure than if sitting at a desk pushing paperwork around.
You Are Definitely Not Being Unreasonable. Recovery impeded now will lead to further sick leave in the future.
they only person who is going to look after your health is you - ask for the sick note. (The Bradford sick leave policy should be abandoned in favour of common sense but that is a separate thread)
Good luck and get that note.

Absolutely get signed off. You probably need some time to come to terms with what you're dealing with as well.

I wish you all the best for your treatment.

Fuck your boss. Not literally, but fuck'em.

YANBU. Take the time off. You need to look after yourself mental and physically for what you are next going thorough in 4 weeks.
I hope everything goes well for you 💖

Absolutely take all the time off if you can get the fit note.
They don’t give a flying fig about you, so don’t feel in the least guilty and once signed off ignore all the contact from work until you are ready to return.
I’m a manager in the public sector and I don’t treat my staff like this. But I wouldn’t expect anyone to do a physical job with that (my team can WFH so it’s different). Fuck them. They’d replace you in a heartbeat so you owe them no guilt.

”they didn’t hire you to take time off”??? Who is this human?! Ridiculous!

I’ve been in a tight spot before as a manager, with big deadlines looming and a colleague off sick. That’s my problem to solve. Not theirs.

He needs reported to HR now as he'll be breaching every sickness policy under the sun with his harassment and shitty comments.

Take the time off and heal. Hope your surgery goes well!

I think it perfectly reasonable to take sick leave for the duration - you have a wound infection and a new unexpected cancer diagnosis.

However, if you were off sick for 2 separate episodes, you have an excellent reason/excuse, and certainly shouldn’t worry about the management/HR post-sickness interviews. As a nurse there is always pressure to get back to work quickly, and nurses’ empathy often only extends towards patients rather than colleagues, but you are entirely justified in taking sick leave at this time. Good luck with the forthcoming surgery! x

I’m a GP. I’d write you a fit note in a heartbeat, especially given your job. Put in an online request for fit note, it may take surgery a few days (like everywhere, it’s very busy!) but fit notes will be back dated as long as you specify dates etc on your request.

And if I were in your shoes I’d be screen shotting coms from whomever your manager is with a view to following this up, in due course, if they continue being an arse.

xxx

YANBU to take whatever time you need. The diagnosis comes as a massive shock and you want the primary excision to recover well, also you’re not going to be able to do some physical aspects of your role even if you do go back.

Having said that, do you have a surgery date and are you sure it’ll be within 4 weeks, from referral from my local hospital I waited 12 weeks and a day for WLE and SLNB in the summer at the Christie for a stage 2 melanoma. They told me twice that once the primary excision is out you drop down the priority list.

Bloody hell you poor thing- do not even think about going to work- take the time off to heal! Your boss sounds like an utter twat - get signed off properly and look after yourself- your boss needs to find an empathy chip from somewhere- I'm a line manager and my first response to you would be take all the time off you need!

Definitely take the time then, you need to rest and get the infection cleared so you can have the second op ASAP. You need to be physically healthy for the op because the recovery from the WLE is tough.

Good luck with your treatment, I hope hopefully they’ve caught it quick and your nodes are clear!

Oh OP what a horrible shock for you, and to have your boss harassing you like that is unacceptable. He needs reporting to HR (has he said any of this nonsense in writing? I hope he has, the idiot!) and if you are feeling harassed by work in general then please seek NMC or union advice!

I hope all goes smoothly with your surgery and recovery

You've had a cancer diagnosis

You've had a surgical procedure that isn't healing well

You have a job that would impair your recovery and potentially delay the next, critical stage of treatment

Your boss is a dick, and you've every reason to think they'll be completely unsupportive.

Stay off, OP, and yes, report him to HR. If they've anything about them, they'll put him right back in his box.

Is your boss thinking, oh it's just a little skin cancer? I hope your doctor's letter sets him straight. What an insensitive arse. Heal well.

Fuck that. Get yourself signed off sick to cover the interim period. If this isn't sickness, then I don't know what else is. And tell you boss to back off. Copy Hr into that email. He's a CF'er

Boss’s attitude is insane. Of course you should be off. Screenshot all coms and record phone calls if any and go your best to land him in the shit with HR. It will take your mind off your condition, give you pleasure, and remove an unfit martinet from a position he shouldn’t have.

As a nursing manager in the NHS you are absolutely not being unreasonable at all. Get signed off for the duration. And keep evidence of all the utterly inappropriate messages your manager has been sending and go directly to HR yourself to complain. This is unacceptable behaviour from your manager. The fact that anyone would consider treating one of their staff like this for any sickness, never mind a cancer diagnosis, is absolutely shocking. And then trusts wonder why they can’t retain staff.

Wishing you a successful surgery, and a speedy recovery. Take as much time as you need (and maybe browse NHS jobs while you’re recovering 😉)

If nothing else you can get a Drs note for stress as a surprise diagnosis like that has to be stressful . Stop taking calls from work and book an appt with occupational health .