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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

*Contains graphic photo* - To not go back until all completely healed?

64 replies

PumpkinPastiez · 27/01/2023 23:53

I had a mole removed 2 weeks ago from the top of my shoulder. I was told at the time I was being over cautious and it was probably a wart.

However it was a stage 2 melanoma. I'm having a wide local excision with flap repair and sentinel node biopsy + node clearance at a cancer hospital In 2 weeks.

I work as a nurse at the moment in theatres, if anyone recognises this story please just keep scrolling! My job is extremely heavy and we are so busy at the moment, I would be expected to go back to normal immediately. I don't have a date for my surgery yet but it will be within 4 weeks, and then I'll need another 6 off work, because of the stitches and staples and the fact my job includes lugging around very heavy equipment.

In the nhs if I was to go back in for the 4 weeks whilst I'm waiting for my surgery date and then go off again it will be counted as a second sickness and I will have to speak with HR about how long I've been off, if I stay off it's just 1 and not as bad.

I also have an infection in the wound so I'm on daily wound dressings and antibiotics to try and clear it up. I've added a photo to show what I'm dealing with.

Aibu to ask my dr for a note to cover the next 4 weeks so this can heal properly and then my surgery can go ahead? Also then I'll get a note from the surgeon at the Christie after my operation.

I know my boss is mad at me for not being in and I really am feeling the pressure to return but omg it's agony and if it's not healed by the end of feb I doubt the Christie will operate because it's a bigger risk.

I just keep getting phone calls and texts about how short staffed they are and how he didn't hire me to take time off. The melanoma diagnosis came out of the blue

OP posts:
Original poster
PumpkinPastiez · 02/02/2023 02:14

greenspaces4peace · 02/02/2023 02:09

as a retired nurse i would say a bit of an allergic type reaction to the product (new form of iodine or spelling mistake).
try a cold pack to help with the itching and pain till you speak to someone.

Ha sorry not spelling mistake. It's an iodine impregnated dressing that releases iodine on contact with wound exudate it's meant to help with slough. It is very painful. I might try the ice pack thank you!

OP posts:
HollaHolla · 02/02/2023 03:35

Ahhh. I had that on a post surgical wound which refused to heal, after spinal surgery. It did burn for quite a while, sorry to say. I just had to try and distract myself. It calmed down after a day or so.
Thinking of you; it sounds really tough. Shitty boss behaviour on top of all of that, really doesn’t help. If they refuse to leave you alone, can you involve your union? They helped me, when I was being harassed on sick leave.

Ellacska · 05/02/2023 20:17

PumpkinPastiez · 27/01/2023 23:53

I had a mole removed 2 weeks ago from the top of my shoulder. I was told at the time I was being over cautious and it was probably a wart.

However it was a stage 2 melanoma. I'm having a wide local excision with flap repair and sentinel node biopsy + node clearance at a cancer hospital In 2 weeks.

I work as a nurse at the moment in theatres, if anyone recognises this story please just keep scrolling! My job is extremely heavy and we are so busy at the moment, I would be expected to go back to normal immediately. I don't have a date for my surgery yet but it will be within 4 weeks, and then I'll need another 6 off work, because of the stitches and staples and the fact my job includes lugging around very heavy equipment.

In the nhs if I was to go back in for the 4 weeks whilst I'm waiting for my surgery date and then go off again it will be counted as a second sickness and I will have to speak with HR about how long I've been off, if I stay off it's just 1 and not as bad.

I also have an infection in the wound so I'm on daily wound dressings and antibiotics to try and clear it up. I've added a photo to show what I'm dealing with.

Aibu to ask my dr for a note to cover the next 4 weeks so this can heal properly and then my surgery can go ahead? Also then I'll get a note from the surgeon at the Christie after my operation.

I know my boss is mad at me for not being in and I really am feeling the pressure to return but omg it's agony and if it's not healed by the end of feb I doubt the Christie will operate because it's a bigger risk.

I just keep getting phone calls and texts about how short staffed they are and how he didn't hire me to take time off. The melanoma diagnosis came out of the blue

Ex- NHS nurse here.

You allways put yourself first !!!!

Ellacska · 05/02/2023 20:25

I feel for you 😭
I had laparoscopy and hysteroscopy for endometriosis where I was working . Was so embarassing !

LakieLady · 05/02/2023 20:40

You need to take care of your own health before you can go back to taking care of other people's!

Take as long as you need.

NeedSomeSpace · 05/02/2023 20:44

Get a doctor's note. It's not just about the wound it's about taking some time to come to terms with your diagnosis. Your health is much more important than any short term incovenience to staffing that your boss has to deal with (of which they are paid to do so).

As you have done, I would also have read the sickness policy (and any other related policies) so any decisions I made regarding sick leave were fully informed.

Wishing you the very best for your operation.

Sunriseinwonderland · 05/02/2023 20:49

You what? I work in the NHS too. We're insanely busy but I'd never allow my boss to talk to me like this. Id tell him very sharply to sling his hook because you have cancer and you'll come back when you are well. Join Unison ASAP the other union's are useless but Unison will kick arse.

Murphs1 · 05/02/2023 20:54

I’m nhs also and had an op that left me with a wound that kept reopening. I was off for the whole period which in the end was around 6 months. You definitely shouldn’t be clinical with an infected wound.

Murphs1 · 05/02/2023 20:56

Also wishing wishing you all the very best.

UnicornsHaveDadsToo · 05/02/2023 21:07

FRCS here.
You can't have a flap done with an active infection so that's got to be treated first.
If you're at work, lifting and lugging stuff and patients in theatres, that wound's going to fall apart superficially leaving the skin edges unopposed, so it won't heal.
You need time off work for the initial wound to heal so that you can have the WLE and the flap.
Your manager is being an arse, they can go jump off a cliff! 😡

Ellacska · 05/02/2023 21:35

I was off from work ( NHS nurse too ) for 8 months due to glandular fever. My boss never ever talked to me like this!
I would report it to HR.

jamimmi · 05/02/2023 21:58

Your manager needs to be reported. Had 6 moths off following ortho surgery at another hospital trust( needed not to be with colleagues) . Not a word about the time off just told not to come back till I was ready and did I need physio sorting? Stay off , put yourself first and I hope all goes well. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY

Original poster
PumpkinPastiez · 06/02/2023 09:58

Little update from me. My arm got a lot worse. It opened up a lot more, I had a reaction to the iodine impregnated dressing and it was agony. It's got a lot drier so that's good!

I've been signed up til the end of feb and the only thing I need to focus on is my surgery and getting this bloody thing healed.

Thank you for all the support and kindness.

OP posts:
caramac04 · 06/02/2023 10:29

Good to hear you’ve got the time off you need. Rest and look after yourself

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