to think DH is taking his atheism a bit too far?

[glassspider]

My son will soon be three years old and happily repeats phrases such as please, thank you, excuse me, when appropriate. When somebody sneezes, he also says "bless you," the way his relatives and most people with whom he has come into contact have said to him in the past.

My husband is an atheist and dislikes any form of religion or celebration of religious belief such as saints days, church ceremonies, anything like that, which I'm fine with. But he is telling our son it is bad to say "bless you" and we always say "gesundheit" instead. Is this not going to cause a lot of unnecessary confusion and bad feeling over a little phrase which will probably be said to him quite a lot throughout his life, and won't kill him?!

I guess if you're going to be an atheist, do it properly and according to what is right for you, just as followers of religions do. I just think small terms found in religion are such a part of life and culture that it will be impossible for DS to avoid them and to try and bar them all from his life will be more bother than it's really worth! AIBU?

What are his views on Christmas? I am interested if he picks and choses his levels of atheism.

imo he shouuldnt be told he is bad for saying it (btw I HATE people usingbad as it implies there is something inhrently wrong with the child). If dh prefers him not to use it, it is perfectly fine to discourage him from using. dh doesnt like certain local expressions and discourages the kids from using. He cant stop them hearing others say it, and its not fair for me to delibrately teach themj to say it either.

yabu but neither is he, other than calling dc bad

Think your DH is a bit of a bully ffs it's a3yr old here is he going to stop him eating easter eggs or being in the school nativity ?? think you and him need to discuss this further before things get out of hand ! x

christams is a hijacked festivel - to me it is a mid-winter jolly and presents are exchanged - it was taken over by christians anyway

so many atheists in one place,,

may God bless you all,,,

lol chenge x

which god would that be then, norse, greek, roman or some other type?

I agree with many people here - "Bless you" has no religious meaning, in that context.

I disagree with the person who criticised the parents for "indoctrinating" their child with aetheism. It's teaching the child the truth - how can that ever be wrong? They'll hear bible stories, which is fine too. All children love a good fairytale!

With the emphasis on religion in so many children's education, it's vitally important to ensure that children know the truth. Of course there's no god.

Like the What Would Richard Dawkins Do comment!

B.

When I was a child my parents regularly embarrassed/traumatised me with their 'strict' atheism. They just had (have!) to make a point about EVERYTHING that had even a vague link to religion. It was tiresome, and nearly sent me the other way tbh!!!

I am however an atheist myself, but not to the detriment of enjoying our history and tradition. I am fine with saying bless you (good point made earlier about the origin of 'goodbye'!), I would sing a hymn in church at a wedding (my parents would remian silent and seated - sigh!), and I don't mind my DD being in a nativity play. I try to approach these things as historical/cultural, rather than religious - as i truly believe there is no God(s).

So YDHIBU to make a thing about it. There are plenty of ways of passing on your belief system re. atheism, without making it a huge issue.

It has always amused me when Christians take offence when I say "Oh my God" I mean which bit of that statement don't they get...I don't really spare a moment's though for what they consider to be a God - the word is generic and they are being arrogant to assume it belongs exclusively to them.

I am of course referring to Thor - he exists doesn't he?

I am athiest and when my DS1 told me he didn'believe in God I told him to think this through properly. He had no idea on my beliefs but said that if God really existed, bad things wouldn't happen. He made his own decision on this...I have no right to impose my views.
My brother is married to a Jehovah's Witness and she forces the kids to follow it, although they have expressed thier desire not to.
Your religious views are your own...don't force them onto children.
If my children grow up and decide to become priests, nuns, whatever, that is their choice and I will not judge them.

Will you happily accept your child joining a cult - is that just a name for new religions and the rest are OK. I will quietly judge my child for becoming religious - it's not something I'll ever endorse - up to them of course.
My family are religious - it's up to them what they do but it's amazing how little they respect my view and I find that a lot with religious folk.
Your dh can change things, can change the language people use...we have not always sad bless you or good bye... culture evolves and your dh could find himself one of the trail blazers.....

Calling a 3 yo to task for an innocent phrase is the ultimate in silliness. YANBU.

If the DH intends to change things, let him do it by himself, with other adults he can reason with (after getting himself an etymological dictionary of the English language) and not rope a small child into his quixotic campaign as his front line soldier.

He will have to tilt at the alphabet too, since that came to the British Isles through church Latin.

I'm a Catholic and so are the DCs, and we just say "Cover your nose next time" or "Get the paper towels" when someone sneezes here. Several of us have seasonal allergies and if we went around saying 'Bless you' every time someone sneezed it's all we'd ever say in spring and early summer, and ragweed season.

Sanesometimes1,,lol,,im just being cheeky,,

OP, Just wondering, apart from nigh-on impossibility of avoiding anything/all words Christianity-related (as suggested in most of the posts), WHY does your DH see this as being so important?

It does seem unreasonable (in the extreme) unless we're unaware of some deeper issue he has with Christianity.

If it's simply that he doesn't want DS to end up having religious beliefs then he's probably taking the exact opposite approach to one that'd work.

My father is an atheist (well, actually Richard Dawkins is his God!) but he was very relaxed about us DC doing or saying anything with religious connotations. I'm also an atheist however DH is a believer (doesn't actually make it to church tho!) so we'll bring DC up as agnostic - if that's at all possible!

"there is a lot of academic evidence to suggest religious experience in very young children."

What "academic evidence" would that be? Please provide a few.

YANBU, by the way. It is silly to get hung up on such phrases.

I am agnostic - I.e. I don't know if a god exists or not and until I see God or otherwise witness proof of his existence, I don't believe in any such deity.

your dh is barking and being very unkind to his little boy. He's an atheist, fine, but he shouldn't insist on using his son to make a point. Nasty.

Btw, I'm a vegetarian, because I believe very strongly it is wrong to kill for food when we don't have to. But I wouldn't dream of telling ds that people who eat meat are bad. I manage to accept that lots of other people don't share my personal belief without making a big fuss about it.

(Although, may I point out, if everyone went vegetarian or, even better, vegan, it'd do a great deal to limit global warming AND feed the 6bn+ and growing population of this planet. Just thought I'd mention it... )

Bit surprised at some of the reactions here. Sounds more like mildly annoying eccentric pedantry to me rather than seriously concerning nastiness. I'd just grin at him and eyeroll a bit and tell ds your own view too rather than get terribly worried and worked up about it. In the longer term it's quite funny having parents who are a bit barking, I think.

"mildly annoying eccentric pedantry" I totally agree.

And the world would be a much more boring place without it

That's one nutty atheist, you can't blame the whole darn lot of them!

I'll give you DD's view on this, age 4:

'Mummy some people believe in God and some people believe in Goodness.'

'Why do you say that DD?'

'Because some people say 'Oh my god!' and some people say 'Oh my goodness!'. But it doesn't matter if you believe in something different, you just have to be nice to everybody'