to think DH is taking his atheism a bit too far?

[glassspider]

My son will soon be three years old and happily repeats phrases such as please, thank you, excuse me, when appropriate. When somebody sneezes, he also says "bless you," the way his relatives and most people with whom he has come into contact have said to him in the past.

My husband is an atheist and dislikes any form of religion or celebration of religious belief such as saints days, church ceremonies, anything like that, which I'm fine with. But he is telling our son it is bad to say "bless you" and we always say "gesundheit" instead. Is this not going to cause a lot of unnecessary confusion and bad feeling over a little phrase which will probably be said to him quite a lot throughout his life, and won't kill him?!

I guess if you're going to be an atheist, do it properly and according to what is right for you, just as followers of religions do. I just think small terms found in religion are such a part of life and culture that it will be impossible for DS to avoid them and to try and bar them all from his life will be more bother than it's really worth! AIBU?

Ridiculous. Fair enough if he doesn't want to say it himself, but 'gesundheit' from a small English child sounds pretentious, and it's considered polite to say something when somebody sneezes; it's an accepted part of social interaction (why though? I suppose it 'smooths things over' and makes them feel less awkward about The Great Sneeze?). I don't like it when I sneeze and people don't say 'bless you'. Obviously, this is not for religious reasons; it's just the same feeling I have when somebody lets a door close in my face instead of holding it open.

Also, there is a difference between atheism and secularism. Atheism is simply not believing in any god. It doesn't follow that an atheist should neccessarily be avoiding all things with a vaguely religious origin. It is perfectly possible to be an atheist and also be wild about cathedral buildings, hymns and the influence of religion on our culture. Secularism is the word for somebody who wishes to remove the influence of religion from public life.

Well said, mary (and i like your username!)

thanks!

I'm an atheist and tend not to bother saying anything when someone sneezes. I figure 'bless you' has degenerated into a meaningless reflex and 'gesundheit' (to your good health) reflects exactly the same superstition - and msot people here don't knwo what it means, unlike parts of America where it's common.

I plan to tell ds that lots of people like saying something to make you feel better if you sneeze, like 'bless you', and it's up to him if he does or not. And avoid the aunt who would tell him that if he doesn't say bless you (or drink champagne during a toast, or throw spilt salt over his left shoulder) that we'll ALL DIE!!!

I'm an atheist and I hate "bless you". Someone at work said it to me the other day and I very nearly made some catty remark but decided not to as it was said with good intention.

I would be keen though for DC not to say it to others.

coffeefestival

atheism isn't a belief.

Let's say I tell you I keep a pet unicorn in my garage, and you do not beleive that this is the case.

Do you no have a new 'belief' a belief in the non-existence of stubbornhubby's unicorn?

That's not a belief. It's the absence of belief.

I am a Christian and never say "bless you" - it's superstitious thing that comes from a strange old belief that the devil somehow escapes from you when you sneeze. Very little to do with true Christianity and for that reason I don't say it. I usually just say something like "excuse me".

Oh blimey! A true atheist would realise that there is no power in religious words so it makes not a jot of difference if you use them. As it is he is giving 'bless you' a significance in your child's mind.

Yes. I believe it is not true. But I could be wrong.

"Do you now have a new 'belief' a belief in the non-existence of stubbornhubby's unicorn?"

Wow thanks for the replies!

DH does celebrate Christmas, but says he intends to call it "winterval" (always reverts back to Christmas though), he doesn't really like Easter (doesn't stop DS, myself and the rest of our family eating chocolate eggs) and on our first Valentine's Day as a married couple, did not acknowledge it as it was a saints day. I know it's good to be consistent, but think it will remove a lot of fun from DS's life (we have had heated discussions about this!!!)

I'm happy for the phrase "bless you" not to be used in our household, but think it's a bit much to say it's BAD. And as people have pointed out, going to extremes about this issue will no doubt increase our son's curiosity about religion and make him want to go to church!

While I do understand where he's coming from, you do need to be a bit sensible too. I mean has he considered "Goodbye" for example? It comes from the phrase "god be with you". Is he going to teach your DC that Goodbye and Bye bye are out too?

Tara perhaps? See you later alligator?

out of interest, what is your DH going to do when DS wants to play with children from other religions, some of whom may wear religious dress or have religious dietary needs etc?

is he going to tell DS they are all bad or at least deluded people or is his strong feeling reserved purely for christians?

or is he goign to encourage Ds to learn about why people believ what they believe. sounds like he is saying "its all crap" - well DS has freedom of choice and should not be put of asking questions by his dads attitude

christian or not I think bless you is reduced to the level of an "oh dear" when its related to a sneeeze - the pious hand on your arm, intent look and "bless you" when you have doen something to help someone is a different matter

I think saying Bless You comes from the days of the black death. One of the first signs was sneezing the the family would ask the priest to say a prayer for the sick person(blessing them)
The nursery rhyme ring of roses is also about the plauge
"Atishoo atishoo we all fall down"

Athiests are a funny lot.I know some who believe in superstition and say things like touch wood(touching the cross)

Surley if they believe we are only animals with no God why then do they have these silly superstitions

I think the OP should watch out. With that kind of miserable adherence to the rules of a belief system on display, it won't be long before DH turns into a fully-fledged Victor Meldrew....

He'll be banning Christmas next.

Most of the days of the week are named after gods (albeit non-Christian)

It isn't actually about the plague, Jasonthunderpants

www.snopes.com/language/literary/rosie.asp

But everyone thinks it is.

Atheism is a belief; atheists believe there is no god. It is not simply an absence of believe; the views are frequently propounded too vigorously for that.

I am an agnostic, that is, I do not know if there is, or is not, a god.

I have listened to both sides of the argument, and quite frankly, neither side has shown any evidence that their belief is true.

In fact I find Richard Dawkins so inflexibly dogmatic in his views that I feel he rides roughshod over any things that do not fit his views.

Rather as a religious person might!

I feel the OP's DH is taking things too far. I feel he is indoctrinating the child into one particular belief. Not only is he risking confusing the child, he is also risking the child sensing there is some form of conflict between the OP and her DH, which would not be good for the child.

Some atheists believe that their outlook is superior to others and should be promoted vigorously; but that's not the same as atheism itself being a belief.

What Would Dawkins Do? Well, he famously says that indoctrinating a child into a religion is child abuse.

He did write this letter to his daughter explaining his position.

www.rationalresponders.com/richard_dawkins_letter_to_his_10_year_old_daughter_how_to_warn_your_child aboutthisirrationalworld

So perhaps when your husband tells your son that it's bad to say 'bless you', he would hope that your son would say 'what's your evidence for that?'

I don't think Atheism is a belief, I think often it's an unwanted label. People want to label those without belief as something because they don't understand the concept of no belief.

I call myself an Atheist for arguments sake as people seem to understand it more but really I am just without religion or religious belief/upbringing.

Can't you all just say "good health" and leave it there

Goodness me
For goodness sake
Go to some horride place

it is far better for both partes to use none religious sayings for one as they don't agree and for the other as they could be constued as blaphemy

yabu

Phrases such as "religion" or "belief" are hard to define. Just call them "worldviews" instead. Atheism is a worldview, theism is a worldview. They both have good points, they both have problems. Personally I am a theist (of a Christian persuasion) but appreciate that others view the world in a different way.

Slavish adherence to one worldview to the extent that you cannot tolerate others is, however, a bad thing. So YANBU. Your DH needs to lighten up a bit. If he is so anti religion that he worries that the term "bless you" might persuade your child to believe in God then he really does need a good lie down.

humans have invented thousands of gods.
everyone is atheists about almost all of those gods.

we Atheists just go one god further.

"Bless you" is surely no longer a religious phrase; it is simply a polite meaningless response to a sneeze.

I remember saying "See you later" to a blind man and being absolutely horrified; he sensed my discomfort and said "Don't worry, I see what you mean."

As other posters have pointed out, it is almost impossible not to use phrases rooted in religion: bloody, blimey, goodbye...