to expect a thank you from teachers for their end of term gifts?

[BigBadMummy]

I bought three gifts for staff at my DC's school, various voucher/gift card things with a value of £25. (all sorts of reasons why it was that much money, it wouldn't normally be, and it certainly wasn't for staff at my other DC's school).

I have heard nothing. I didn't actually get to see two of the staff on the last day of term so gave them to the other member and asked if he could pass them on.

Is it too much to ask for an email, saying thanks?

How can we expect our DCs to say thank you for gifts if they do not get the same in return?

At our school the head normally puts something in the newsletter in Sept saying "thank you for all the lovely gifts and cards". Logistically it would be a nightmare for teachers to have to reply to each gift-giver individually don't you think?!

Maybe they said thanks to your DC, and your DC didn't think to pass it on?

Or maybe they're just rude & ungrateful?

Do they not say thanks to you or to your child at the time of hand-over? That would be enough for me.
Do teachers often email other parents? Our school only started texting parents this year, can't imagine getting an email!

As I said, we didn't get to see two of the recipients because they were not around so they could not thank my DC personally.

And SWGM I didn't suggest the lack of a thank you would "turn my child into a rude little madam".

I just thought a one line email to say thanks so the child knows it has been received would be a nice gesture.

After all my DCs write thank you letters after birthdays and Christmas and make a point of phoning granny etc to say thank you for things. I just thought it would be common courtesy for them to receive the same.

puzzle it is a boarding school so most communication is done on email, including communicating with the DCs sometimes (they all have a school email address).

YABU it is an extremely busy time for teachers.

They usually on gift the presents anyway. I know my DN does.

She hasn't actually purchased a gift for anyone for years.

I was pleasantly surprised when DS's teacher and TAs gave him individually written cards for presents he gave last summer. Really wasn't expecting it (although it was nice).

FGS, I would rather not have the pressies than to have send thankyous to all the children
I am not a teacher btw
Loads of soap and chocs and stuff they don't really want

YABVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVU

no i agree.
am teacher
write a line in a reading book
30 lines

10 mins

Its not always that easy though. It is oftne the case that you get maybe 20 gifts from a class of 30 - some with no label or card. Some give you just a card or a drawing with no name. Somtimes a child give to the wrong teacher or forgets.

A sign in the window that says thank you for all the lovely gifts at the end of the last day is easier. However, some may still consider this rude. It is hard to get it right with everyone.

Message withdrawn

We once had a parents whip round for the teacher and bought her a much needed pair of pinking shears,several lengths of shaped hemmed fabric for her table displays and some stained glass window transfers for the reading corner - she was well impressed.

yabu for expecting thanks I thinks - give with a good heart or dont bother.

if oyu bought me pinking shears id give you a farking hair cut

YABU- Logistical nightmare.

I agree good manners are learned by example but the poor teachers are knackered by then and have probably said thank you effusively at the time.

You say your DC is at boarding school- they may do thinsg differently there, but us non boarders generally don't get sent emails.

lol compycod .....she really did want some - my dh had even tried to sharpen her old ones up and as a nursery nurse occasionally helping her in the class putting up her displays was a nightmare - she was no triple backing enthusiast it was all zig zaggy (or as near as her dodgy shears allowed)

co incidentally Robert white chopped half my pig tail off in infant 3 with pinkers.....

IME the children sometimes get a little card posted during the holidays to say thankyou. Sometimes they don't. It's nice to get a thankyou but I don't expect it - let's be honest, your gift might have been well thought out and much appreciated, but more often than not it's a piece of tat picked up with the weekly shop, that the teachers could well do without and just something else to deal with at a manic time of the year.

And the teacher will have said thanks to the child at the time the gift was given - and that is what matters.

Although in general, I agree it is rude not to say thank you for gifts, I think this case is a bit different. Presumably, your gift was actually a thank you to the teacher for their work looking after and educating your child (I actually think gifts for teachers are unnecessary anyway!), so it seems a little over the top to expect a thank you for a thank you. This could go on forever - 'thanks for the thanks'...'thanks for the thanks for the thanks', etc.

That's even ignoring for a moment the logistics, and the assumption that the teacher would surely have said thank you to the DC when it was handed over.

I honestly don't even really know where this gifts for teachers thing came from anyway. I am a Brownie leader and get gifts off some parents at Christmas, Easter and the end of the Summer term. It's lovely but totally unnecessary and unexpected (I think the first time it happened I completely couldn't understand what it was for), and that's for a 'job' I don't get paid for. I certainly don't expect gifts from my clients at work at the end of a project or at year end.

D

DH gets a few gifts. Someone in the school is convinced he likes real ale - he doesn't. But I do

as a teacher this is what happens in our school, i have year 6. (nothing like a boarding school btw - usually get something either past its sell by date, inappropriate or weird.)

last day of term children bring in their presents.

• some are very proud and make you open it in front of them. i say many many thanks for lovely china dolphin etc.
• some dump it on your desk and get on with end of term fun. if it's labeled i thank them during the day.
• some don't label who the gift is from and i can never remember which parcel was from which child based on the wrapping paper.

i ALWAYS say thanks for all my lovely presents when i say bye to them on the carpet at hometime when i wish them all the best for next year.
if i see a mum/ dad/ carer etc i thank them as well but i would never manage to catch them at the end of the day and writing 30+ cards and posting them is not what want to do in the hols.

btw i think there may be some data protection issues in taking children's addresses home to do thank you cards.

oh and everyone else getting a card would make the ones that didn't give anything for financial reasons/ uncaring homelife feel bad.

I bought xmas and end of term little gifts (guided by DCs) all through infant and most of junior years.Never got a thank you once.Didn't mind but even a note in class window would have been nice.
Sometimes teachers gave out a gift too so maybe that cancels out need?

I always put a wee note in the pupils diary. It was a nightmare in High School as the kids didn't use diarys. I got lots of wedding gifts and tried to ensure pupils got a thank you card without the others kids noticing.