to expect a thank you from teachers for their end of term gifts?

[BigBadMummy]

I bought three gifts for staff at my DC's school, various voucher/gift card things with a value of £25. (all sorts of reasons why it was that much money, it wouldn't normally be, and it certainly wasn't for staff at my other DC's school).

I have heard nothing. I didn't actually get to see two of the staff on the last day of term so gave them to the other member and asked if he could pass them on.

Is it too much to ask for an email, saying thanks?

How can we expect our DCs to say thank you for gifts if they do not get the same in return?

Compycod wrote: "reallY?
I wasnt being funny. Its just interesting when you get both sides of a story. And helpful sometimes to help a kid."

No, your pinking shears comment.

As a secondary teacher I do not expect pressies during the year, though I do confess I made some very strong hints to a pupil of mine who was going to South Africa, I mentioned that I love biltong (air dried meat) and if there was any room in her parents bag...

I was really chuffed a couple of weeks later when she brought a huge bag for me.

I did send an e-mail to thank her parents. And they sent another back to me saying it was a pleasure.

nickschick, I think it's fairly obvious what her name is

Funny how this thread is the exact opposite of all other TY card threads, where usually the arguments are

-"it's tat and I hate it" is ungrateful and not an excuse
-I'm really really busy is not an excuse
-I said a general thank you is not good enough

In general I'm finding that people don't bother to say thanks anymore. I feel such a grump saying this, but it's true!

It's just that when I've spent a lot of time thinking what to buy and choosing it, and sometimes spending a lot of money too, it's seems downright rude to hear nothing back. Not a peep.

Has happened repeatedly to me recently. And from people I'm close to.

You can imagine the look on the teachers face when he/she sees 30 bottles of wine/chocs/flowers, that's enough for me!

Poor, poor teachers.

So now, having eased out the RSI in ther wrists from writing end of term reports and endless papaerwork pertaining to this and that, they have to sit down and generate 30 e mails saying 'thank you so much for the chics / mug / novelty photo frame saying 'best teacher / mouse mat with your child's face on it'.

Give because you wnat the recipient to know they are appreciated, not because you want to be acknowledged as a generous parent.

This present giving is getting WAY out of hand, IMO.

AHA!! hhaha re pinking shears

DS is a boarder. We usually get a personal thank you in the post but not until well into the holidays when the staff have had time to recover. Give them a chance!

i think that you are right to think that a thank you of some sort would be nice

BBM - if you want your DC's to be thanked in person, then ensure next year, that they personally give the teacher the gift.

You gave the gifts to a third person to pass on - what do you expect? Oh that right, a note of thanks ................YABU

POINTI - so by giving the gift along with an expectation of a thank you card, you are actually giving the teacher an OBLIGATION not a gift at all.

Teachers work so hard - their holidays should be for many many non-teaching things, not recovering enough to write your child a "thankyouforthepieceofcrapIdontneedandtheobligationtosendathankyoucarditwaslovely" card

I was going to say exactly what Deliaski and paisleyleaf have said - the gift itself is the thank you, surely? If you're giving it to receive admiration rather than to express your own thanks then don't bother giving one at all.

Having said that IME teachers usually dispense something (sweets, small toy, etc) to the children at the end of the year as their own thank you. YABU.

I'd love pinking shears too .

I never really know what to do with those little statues or trophies with "World's Best...".

I love it when the children have made something though, epecially if they have talented parents who've helped them. I'm especially fond of ethnic style jewellery if any of our yr 4 parents are on here .

YABU. You don't have to buy teachers a gift, a lot of the time they find it incovinient, so to expect a "thank you"in return as if they had registered for presents is odd.

I also think this modern "tradition" is odd, how did it all start? I have noticed that it has sometimes turned into a competition. I remember a BBC article a few months back of teachers asking parents NOT to buy them presents.

YA also BU on the grounds that your gift is supposed to be a gesture of gratitude, you shouldn't expect thanks for those...

Some mums are putting together a collection, £5 each, is that acceptable to thy teacher?

In total I have been buying teachers gifts for the last 21 years (DD1=26, DD2=15, DD3=13 and DD4=7). In all those years I have never had a single thank you.

As a TA I write my thank-you cards during the holidays and hand them out the first day of the next term. Not so easy if they are year 6 I suppose! Some teachers stick a notice on the door, some come out and thank everyone on the last day. During the day the teacher may thank the children individually. I'm sure they are all grateful anyway even if they don't actually say it!

We always get handwritten cards from our teachers, posted during the holidays, thanking us for their gifts.

I used to make home made truffles laced with tia maria and wrap them in festive coloured paper - the teachers enjoyed them - I know because several of them placed 'orders' and bought them off me.

I used to try to write a small thank you note to the child, or do one on the computer, but if a present is not labelled it is easy to end up not knowing who it came from.
My DS is Secondary and has AS. I often send small gifts to the support staff at the end of term because they have a lot to put up with from him. They usually thank DS, but rarely thank me.
If it bothers you that much don't give them a gift.

SGM tbh I don't care less if it all ends in bin LOL, as long as boys have summat to hand over withe veryone else! teacjers know we're tight atm, I would think less if anyone thought badly of their little homemade gift and I don;t think they would.

I do remember one year a long time back a teacher expressing disappointment that we had bought a £5 Oxfam books for a child card, wrapped with nice chocolate and given it- not for her. Which was a bit odd at a fairh school IMO, although OTOH one teacher wrote to me to say it was by far her favourite gift she had received.

Whoever it as said about ethnic necklaces, ds1 has a fab 1-1TA and we arer making necklaces this weekend LOL as she collects them. I think she will love it.

Oh and YY to pinking shears- was drooling over them on ebay last night LOL for myb irthday cash (except either postie very late or people forgot. Oh well. Gifts at discretion of sender.)

Every year we get a letter asking for one of them to do a collection fiver in; always afterr we have finished making the gifts. This year I gave it but I don't always.

One year they did it fro a wedding and teacher received over £300 in next vouchers; I did think that was a tad excessive.

I say thank you to the child. I say thank you to the parent if I see them.
I put cards on display in the class, and the special ones from people who mean it I put up at home.
I donate stuff to charity shops in other cities so that no one gets upset.
I'm buggered if I'm sending individual emails, they'd all have to go through the office so my personal email address wasn't there for everyone to use at will.

LOL at "I should get a thankyou because I spent a long time thinking about it and making it personal.... I bought vouchers"