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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my ex should be giving me at least some of this money

19 replies

JeezyPeeps · 08/07/2010 09:18

I split with my ex in Feb. I have not had a penny from him since then, and I have continued to pay the mortgage on the family home that he is now living in, as well as the rent on the house I have. He had not worked for a long time.

He has started making quite a lot of money, partly by renting out rooms in the house I pay the mortgage on and partly by buying and selling. So much so that he has decided to spend £1,500 on getting the kids a new computer - that they don't need. We have a family computer and a laptop already, but he has got the kids all hyped up about the computer.

If IANBU, how much maintenance should I ask from him? Is the total of half the rental income plus the cost of the mortgage too little? Should I ask for more than that? Help!

OP posts:

slushy · 08/07/2010 09:24

Who has custody of the children?

foreverastudent · 08/07/2010 09:26

are you married?

is the home in both your names?

if you are a joint owner I wouldn't think he was allowed to rent rooms without your permission.

BTW is he paying tax on this income?

If he isn't working, is he claiming benefits?

Who are the kids staying with and who is getting chb/ctc for them?

What are you doing with the house in the long run? Selling?

Snobear4000 · 08/07/2010 09:26

That's a pretty sweet deal he's got there. I wish I could get someone else to buy me a house that I could live in and sublet.

Fuck this loser, kick him out of the house. Of course YANBU but you knew that when you posted.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/07/2010 09:26

I dont think you are being unreasonable, but wonder why you are paying the mortgage on a house he is living in. Are the child/ren with him?

Original poster

JeezyPeeps · 08/07/2010 09:27

I do. He has had them after school, and has fed them maybe once per week. He has not had them overnight for a long time because he is renting out the rooms in 'our' house.

OP posts:

cluckyduck · 08/07/2010 09:29

Why on earth are you paying the mortgage AND the rent on your own property?!

slushy · 08/07/2010 09:29

Well woman kick him out and go live there with your dc and save the money on the second rent.

Original poster

JeezyPeeps · 08/07/2010 09:30

The house is in both names, but I have always paid the mortgage because I was the one that was working. We are not married. He has only just started getting some money in - I had been trying to persuade him to work for a long time before I finally had enough and left. He was refusing to leave the house, so I had to. I didn't want to stop paying the mortgage because it will affect my credit rating if he doesn't pay it.

OP posts:

onadietcokebreak · 08/07/2010 09:31

You need to get a really good family solicitor!

Original poster

JeezyPeeps · 08/07/2010 09:32

I don't want to move back there. The house I am in is a secure tenancy in a lovely location which is actually better for the kids - closer to school and activities etc. We are looking at selling the house probably in about two months.

OP posts:

slushy · 08/07/2010 09:32

Then see a solicitor and he may say to sell up and split the equity (in which case you can use it as a deposit and stop paying his rent), or you may get the house having dc.

slushy · 08/07/2010 09:34

X posted ok sell the house so you are only paying one rent and save the equity.

cluckyduck · 08/07/2010 09:34

He should be paying half the mortgage and contributing towards the rent and household costs of your children, IMO.

Diamondback · 08/07/2010 13:42

Sell the house asap. If you have custody of the kids then he will either have to buy you out of your share (unlikely) or move out. When the financials are settled (including share of the house) the courts should take into consideration custody and who has actually paid the mortgage and bills.

kickassangel · 08/07/2010 13:55

and is he paying tax on this income? he could be getting himself into serious trouble,

you're allowed to rent out ONE room without paying tax (or were, could have changed) and the mortgage co will not be happy if he's effectively running a hostel on a normal mortgage.

you need legal advice. if you're getting on ok, try to talk to him & point out the problems, but you could end up credit blacklisted if the mortgage co finds out anyway.

foreverastudent · 08/07/2010 14:56

Get the house sold asap before his tenants wreck it.

If he's a w*** then report him to HMRC and DWP.

Benefit fraud number: 0800 854 440. Lines are open between 7.00 am and 11.00 pm, seven days a week. It is free and confidential.Tax Evasion Hotline
Freephone 0800 788 887

Tax Fraud: 0800 788 887 This Hotline is open 8.00 am to 8.00 pm Monday to Friday, and weekends 8.00 am to 4.00 pm.

foreverastudent · 08/07/2010 14:57

Also make sure you are now getting wtc/ctc as a single person not a couple.

colditz · 08/07/2010 14:58

Sell the house, you can force sale.

i'm sure as the person with custody of the children you have the right to move yourself and them back in and make him leave - legally.

FindingMyMojo · 08/07/2010 15:00

if you are paying the mortgage, he should be paying you market rent for the property surely?

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