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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To leave 21 month old in front of telly for an hour and half

28 replies

queenceleste · 06/07/2010 10:34

watching cbeebies while I try to get some chores done!!
I'm sure it's bad for her but she's got a d&v bug - not sick enough to stay in bed, not well enough to play much.
and I have so much to do!

I have a friend who didn't let her kids watch telly til they were over 5. I flagellate myself with the thought of those children and the 70 million puzzles they did instead. I'm sure they'll be blardy farking rocket scientists......

I've just switched it off and she's watched postman pat, guess with jess, weigh my blues, and whatever preceded Pat tingle dingles?

I feel I should at least call social services and report myself.

OP posts:
NicknameTaken · 06/07/2010 10:36

YANBU, not as a once-off when she has a d&v bug.

imahappycamper · 06/07/2010 10:39

Some research suggests it is harmful for babies to watch television. Sue Palmer. (Toxic Childhood) would certainly applaud your friend.
Personally I used to like it when the children were sick. Gave me an excuse not to do the chores!

Original poster
queenceleste · 06/07/2010 10:39

so how much would you have as a daily ceiling????!!!
I mean I will need to turn the devil's own box on again later for help!

OP posts:
MissM · 06/07/2010 10:39

TV is my biggest guilt-inducing item. I know my kids should watch less tele. And yet if I need to get something done it's the only way I can guarantee that I actually will. Your friend's kids may be rocket scientists but will they be happy?

moaningminniewhingesagain · 06/07/2010 10:39

YANBU.
All normal rules are suspended when they are poorly, IMHO, you do what you need to get through the day

And it's childrens tv while you do chores or MN, not like you sat her down to watch Saw 5 while you smoke some crack.

Original poster
queenceleste · 06/07/2010 10:40

you see I instinctively agree with it being toxic at almost any age unless it's for short bursts.

But \i'm a slattern....... The house always defeats me......

OP posts:
Original poster
queenceleste · 06/07/2010 10:45

It's true you have to do what works don't you but still.

lol at Saw% and crack... Everything's relative.

I think that what is best for me is when I have a mental limit in my head otherwise half an hour can turn into three in what feels like a minute can't it?

Also ds is starting to watch these absolutely awful US programmes like iCarly and the one about the demonic twins in the hotel oh lord.

and the more tv he watches the fouler he us to us - it's weird.

OP posts:
WitchyWooWoo · 06/07/2010 10:49

i let ds watch tv. well when i say watch, he dances about to any music thats played and then carries on ignoring it and plays with his toys. the only time he really enjoys it is if he's being a bit snuggly and likes to sit on me, sucking hi thumb and revelling in a bit of ITNG

yanbu!

MollieO · 06/07/2010 10:49

Ds sees as much tv as he wants when we are at home. In reality that means about 30 mins twice a day during the week and not much more at weekends. I know dcs who don't see tv and then are completely transfixed when they are at other dc's houses and see it. Everything in moderation works for us.

Firawla · 06/07/2010 11:56

im the same as mollieO i dont limit it @ home at all but then we are out most of the time, and its not as if he does nothing else while @ home, so i find it okay?
1.5 hours when your dc is ill is fine! i really wouldnt worry personally

BongoWinslow · 06/07/2010 12:01

I watched loads of TV as a kid and I'm a university lecturer. Clearly didn't melt my brain!

But in all seriousness, YANBU to let her watch it in that situation. A little bit sometimes is fine.

The main time it bothers me when children are watching tv is when they stop engaging with other people who talk to them ie the TV becomes more important, they tell people to be quiet etc while it's on. Then it definitely goes off!

funkybuddah · 06/07/2010 12:19

YANBU nothing wrong with a bit of tv, people who spout otherwise get right on my tits.

If it gets to the point where your child cant play as they only want tv then i mightthink differently lol

SloanyPony · 06/07/2010 12:41

I dont see it so much in terms of hours or minutes per day but what its been balanced with in the rest of the day.

So if they've done some puzzles (problem solving), some painting (creative), been to the park (physical), etc, then to sit down towards the end of the day (which is when we tend to do it) and have some zombie relaxation action, is not necessarily a bad thing, means I can get a healthy dinner cooked whilst they occupy themselves, etc.

Half the time they dont end up properly watching it anyway and veer off to do something else (like bouncing on something they shouldn't, or trying to work out how to unlock the windows, or seeing if the cat's tail will come off so they can wear it)

In your circumstance I really wouldn't feel that bad about it! Its not like strapping a 6 month old in front of Micky Mouse in the highchair so you can roll a joint.

mrspir8 · 06/07/2010 12:54

My dd probably watches about 1-1.5 hours a day 4.30-5pm til bath at 6.30. I always feel thats too much and she is a total telly addict-will ask for it all the time. Personally I am concerned because it's all she wants to do all the time and my husband is a total telly head too so it's always on in our house.

I set up other stuff for her and i read with her a lot, and we always go out at least once a day.

But the arguements against it are just another stick to beat ourselves with, are they not?

MissM · 06/07/2010 15:00

I agree with SloaneyPony - look at what else you've done in the day. And she's not well. I think telly rots the brain as well, but I'm off sick at the moment (had an op) and what have I just done? Sat in front of the TV solidly for two hours. It's allowed.

BongoWinslow · 06/07/2010 15:27

SloanyPony is on the money. It's about balance and it's effect, not the amount of time spend watching.

I also think watching something with them and talking about it can be fine if you're engaging with them and they're being stimulated. It's lots of slack-jawed lolling in front of whatever happens to be on that's really problematic.

IHeartJohnLewis · 06/07/2010 15:31

When I read the thread title, I was going to say YAB completely and utterly U - but if your DD has a d&v bug, then YAB completely and utterly R. I reckon all normal procedures are suspended if they're laid up. My DCs have never really watched TV, but they can watch as much as they like if they're ill (and I know when they're really ill - they don't talk and don't move). Whatever gets you all through it. They all realise that things go back to normal once they're better.

MrsGangly · 06/07/2010 15:33

Every day, yes.

When she's sick and lethargic, no.

Druzhok · 06/07/2010 15:38

moaningminnie: "And it's childrens tv while you do chores or MN, not like you sat her down to watch Saw 5 while you smoke some crack. " - PMSL!!!

I feel a little bit of envy that you can do that, queenceleste. DS is/was such a biddable child who will happily sit in front of the telly for as long as I let him. DD does about 2 minutes and then gets back up to cause more damage to the infrastructure.

HumphreyCobbler · 06/07/2010 16:16

My DC have frankly watched HOURS of TV today.

Because, quite frankly, I am bored with

singing the same bloody song twenty times

trying to read two books at once to two different children, as they won't read the same one at the same time

putting things back when they fling them around

dealing with fights as the older one is snatching whatever the younger one picks up, the younger one screams, I give it back, the older one screams while the younger one continues screaming. Repeat ten times an hour.

Telling DS that saying "I want I want" will not get him what he wants. It doesn't stop him doing it continuously though, in a very whiny voice.

As well as the above, I have also made sandcastles, cooked dinner for six people, cleared up after it, taken my children into the veg patch and dug for worms, done a jigsaw puzzle and made a den.

I am not feeling guilty about TV. So there

Druzhok · 06/07/2010 16:19

It is bloody difficult. I love telly.

fedupofnamechanging · 06/07/2010 16:27

I don't see why people make such a big fuss about T.V. Some of the programmes made for children are really interesting and informative. I only think it is 'harmful' if you let them watch hours of American shite for days on end, or vacuous cartoons and never take them to the park or read to them etc.

MissM · 06/07/2010 16:32

DH bought the kids a Zingzilla toy each at the weekend as a treat cos I'd been in hospital. They have played and played with those toys, making up songs and bands, talking to them, telling me about their songs, giving them bits of tea and breakfast (Zac's hair now stinks of sour milk). CBeebies stimulates the imagination, it doesn't deaden it!

Lots of these posts really making me laugh. Humphrey, yours has brought tears of joy to my eyes and reminded me that I am not alone.

Dalrymps · 06/07/2010 16:34

Can someone link to some research as to why it's bad for them? I'm genuinely interested as I've never really understood the whole no tv rule and would like my eyes opened.

Da watches a lot of tv when we're at home but he also plays with toys and dances and sings and draws a lot too. He is very sociable and a good speaker so I'd like to know what 'effects' I am looking for. He's 2.8.

MissM · 06/07/2010 16:38

There was some report in the papers not so long ago - they come up every now and again. It leads to child obesity, brain rotting, psychopathic tendencies (only joking about the last one). Thing is, research conclusions don't take everything into account do they. Like, if a child watched vacuous cartoons while eating hamburgers for six hours, it would lead to obesity and probable brain rotting. But if they watched CBeebies for 1.5 hours for one or two days while they were ill, while eating a breadstick (and puking it up afterwards) they will probably grow into pretty well-rounded adults.

It's all relative.