To be ttc #3 with a bigger gap than between 1 and 2? IYSWIM

[Crumplet]

OK. Quick show of hands... have I left it too long?! TTC #3, and the gaps will be 16 months then 3 years if we get pre the first time, and longer if it takes a while .. so DC1 will be 4 1/2 and DC will be 3 when DC3 arrives. Will this skewed spacing TOTALLY SCREW UP OUR FAMILY DYNAMIC FOREVER AND FUCK UP ALL 3 KIDS AND WRECK OUR LIVES or am I being a little too melodramatic about it - a gap of 3 years seems like ages to me after stcking up the first 2 and I am worried it will push us all out of our lovely comfort zones, but just hankering and hankering for that extra little person at the table.. Please advise

nope. I have those ages gaps. Tis FAB!!!

Older ones will be at school in September (one FT one PT) so it will be just me and the little one. BLISS!!

(Although it does make you feel a little guilty as you spent time with no1 and then no3 and you feel a little like no 2 has missed out on that mummy only time..but I try not to focus on that!!)

I've got 18 months then 3.5 years and I feel your ridiculous pain. I'm currently ttc no 4 who atm will be 25 months after dc3 when really 18 months would have been more symmetrical.

4 1/2 years is nothing!
i've got 6 years between dd2 and dd3 and 9 years between dd1 and dd3 - we all seem to rub along ok

it sounds fine, a lot of people have that kind of gap. im sure alot of people would have 2 close together then a slightly longer gap for the 3rd cos sometimes people want to take a bit of a break after 2 close together
anyway you could always try for a #4 soon afterwards if you felt that #3 is by themselves too much by being a different age (although the gap is not that big anyway)
good luck with ur ttc

Each family has it's own dynamic, doesn't it? Please don't worry about age gaps etc. I really think you can "over-think" these thing. If you and your DH are ready for no.3 then your family is. Hope it works out

i have 9 yrs between ds1 and ds2 and tbh i wouldn't have it any othr way!

7 years here.....perfect for us

I am four and a half years older than my brother and we go clubbing and drinking together. See each other every weekend and a few nights through the week. I am 26 and he is nearly 22.

He babysits my daughter and we are generally together the whole time. I know people who have 1 and 2 year gaps who hardly speak.

I have 28 months, then near 5 years. It is fine, full of the interesting dynamics of 3 kids. They all play with each other, leave each other out. And now my 14 year old can babysit his little sister (usually when I run the other one to her social whirl).

Er...we are trying to conceive and the gaps will be 11 years so relax!

I'm the eldest of three, 18m between me and number 2, 3 years between number 2 and number 3.
I don't really remember much before my brother was here, though I was nearly 5 when he was born. I couldn't imagine the family without him. Always seemed totally natural to me. Whatever gaps you have I think it seems totally natural to the children.

All such lovely messages. Thank you, Thunk we need to just get on with it nd stop stressing!

OP - YABU! You're thinking WAY too much about it. Take your own advice and just get on with TTC, don't stress about the age gaps!

No such thing as a 'perfect' age gap. Your kids will be fine and I'm sure you'll be a fine mum to them all.

i dunno but i ave an 8 year old... a 15 month old and a baby due in 6 weeks

I have that gap between ds and ds it is great ds loves being the bossy caring big brother and loves to help and also tells tales .

I had...drum roll...10 yrs between first two, then 2yrs 9mths...big brother is a hero to our little ones. I wouldn't worry, there's no set formula. Get going!

I am currently pg with #3 who is due the day after dc1s 5th birthday. Dc2 will be nearly 3 and a half - it took longer to conceive then I planned!

I have 4 years 2 months between dc2 and dc3. Was a bigger gap than I planned as it took 9 months to concieve and have a succesful pregnancy. I like the age gap as the older tow help out with their brother. It is much harder having 3 rather than 2!

My little treasure is 8 years younger than DS1 & 2 (DS1 is step son DS2 3.5 years younger)
All get on wonderfully - stop stressing and enjoy..

Any gap is fine, you'll work with it whatever it is...