To want to say we do without the fuss,expense and agro

[sweetbloom]

Been with dp a very long time,have two lovely dc would like something small, intimate and personal in Hampshire that really involves our dc's.
Do not fancy registery office,or a church so stuck on that part, but mainly would like dp,dc,and close family to share our special day.
Im really worried we will upset alot of people and they would expect a invite aibu.
Surely though its what we want?,feel bad saying that though arghhhh.

Book a very small venue either for the legal part and then a restaurant and then clearly state space is restricting numbers????

Could you run to holding a larger party at another time in addition to your small intimate do?

Other than that go away somewhere to get hitched mid week

After being together for 13 years my now husband and I went off and got married with our daughgter as bridesmaid, his daughter and her boyfriend as witnesses and got married without telling anyone else, it was what we wanted and I'm glad we did it that way. Yes we got comments from family and friends but tough it was our day, not theirs. I loved it and wouldnt have done it any other way

Can you just not tell anyone other than those who are invited until after you've done it?

Do it- know several friends who have done same as you and we went off to Vegas. IMO doing it our way was worth far more than people saying they missed out.

whenever I'm not invited to a wedding I feel relieved.

Do what you truly want to do and tell people afterwards. Throw a BBQ later on in the summer so that everyone can drink to your future?

Think I would choose Mottisfont for a wedding myself, I think it's lovely there.

I'm going to Vegas in October. Just with DP and our three small children.
Easier not to invite anybody than just a few people! We also don't want a fuss as we are very privatre people - also seems very exciting!

These are great ideas,dont feel so guilty now,and it seems very appealing thanks everyone.
Dontmisshim thats great you are very lucky and brave with three children, good on you and good luck.

I've been called selfish for only inviting 20 guests (which I consider too big a wedding still!) but you have to stick to want you want. You don't want to feel stressed out by your own wedding!

We wrote a letter to relis not invited beforehand, just explaining we wanted a small affair and hoped we'd not offended anyone. Only one great aunt complained (who's died now). Which side of hampshire are you? Have you thought of getting married in a hotel? Tylney Hall is nice - my friend got married there I think with just bride, groom, and 2 guests - made to feel v.welcome. We got married at Audleys Wood Hotel (nr Basingstoke)- they've got a really lovely conservatory room. I'm very private and hate being centre of attention - in the end we had 30 close family and 30 close friends but I absolutely loved the day. Just make sure everyone who's there is someone you love (have seen in the past year). Best of luck with it all.

We live near Southampton Airport,thanks Muffint the places you recommended are beautiful would need something a little nearer,thank you very much for sharing your ideas.

Yanbu. Do it your own way!

hello sweetbloom. Hope you get the day you want. You must be near me as I am by the airport too :-)

TBH if you already have 2 dcs, the rellies aren't really expecting a huge celebration of you leaving your single life and embarking on the great adventure of married life and possible parenthood.

They probably think you already are married.

If I had my time over, I'd have the wedding, with the few people who are really important to me, in the open air, followed by a picnic. Our local RSPB reserve has just obtained a license, which made my ears prick up. Ok, I haven't thought through what happens if the weather's awful, but it sounds idyllic to me.

I might then invite a few others to have a drink with us another time.

How about Hillier's arboretum? www3.hants.gov.uk/hilliergardens/hilliergardens-weddings.htm

Eve34 thats great someone lives near me?,there are some great ideas here im very impressed with everyone's lovely ideas and opions thanks.
Moomaa I love that place its beautiful love it,love it.

I'm glad I would have looked at it for our wedding but work sometimes booked it for meetings so it would have felt odd. I can vouch for the food though, very nice and Jermyn's house is quite homely feeling.

Will look into it tomorrow Moomaawhere did you get married?, being nosey now sorry?.

3rd one here - I'm right under the flight path!!

Don't know much about the type of wedding on offer but you could look at Cams Hall in Fareham. Also, the registry office in Southampton is nice and then you could have a small reception elsewhere.

Hi there Karmann, thanks for the ideas,its really nice to know we are all near to one another.
I will look into Cams Hall,thanks.

Hi, it is funny to think about being close isn't it? Just had another idea. What about HMS Warrior in Portsmouth?

Its very strange but nice that people are near, I will look at that as well.
Not sure about Southampton Registry though,I do like Tudor Merchants hall, but it would need some work like caterers to come in etc.
Ant then I though winchester Hotel du Vin,you can have a civil ceremony and dinner after and you have the garden?.
Maybe I could get married at Marwell with the monkeys they could stay for tea ha ha.

All I can say is, have the wedding you want. I wish I could have my time again and go ahead with what I wanted.

I wanted to get married on a beach somewhere exotic, and when I told my mum she went bonkers. She said that if I did that, she would never talk to me again ever.

So I didn't want a family trauma, and got married in a more traditional fashion. She ruined my wedding because the morning after the wedding she sulked and got upset because i wasn't taking her to the station from the hotel. She didn't talk to me for days after that. I wish I hadn't bothered!

I think your ideas sound fab xx

Thanks Emy72 Im so sorry about your Mum ruining your day thats very sad, I hope you and your dp are happy though.