Now let me tell you about the new bed,
After falling over the broken bed the other week for what seemed like
the 1000,000 time and screaming at it and its occupant , DP decided
to get me a new one.
It was meant to be delivered last week, then on this Wednesday and
finally arrived on Thursday. It was delivered by a man of about 200 who
looked like he was about to drop dead and it came in 3 boxes two of
which were damaged! If it were just my bed I would have sent it straight
back despite Methuselah telling me he had managed to pick up all the
screws that were rolling around in the back of the van!
So DP arrives home from his meetings and decides to erect the bed,
that is when my life morphed in to an episode of George and Mildred!
(Please note at this point we had only a mattress on the floor as the
old bed was and still is in parts in the non working kitchen that had all the sockets condemned last week after I got a massive shock off of the washing machine but thats another long rant)
SO.... The bed begins to take shape, all is going well, too well in fact
when "oh feck I have cross threaded this bit, no matter it is on now" Um
yes DP but it is on upside down!
"No it is not" "think you will find it is" instructions are then looked
and and guess what? It is on upside down with a cross threaded screw in
it! I am then sent to get a hack saw and a big screw driver. After
15 unsuccessful minuets of sawing a slot for the screw driver to fit in
to on top of the blot, DP decides to saw it in two and start again
with a new one! So the next bit goes on, it has pneumatics as you lift
up the frame and mattress to get to the storage, this is also not going
well so I am sent to get the hammer, after much banging (and a break for
dinner that DH1 ended up cooking while we did battle with the bed) the
last bit was ready to be screwed on, triumph, not quite we do not have
enough screws, I know they are rolling about in the back of a 200 year
old mans van somewhere!! So I am then sent to get....wait for it.... the
duct tape! Oh yes my brand new bed is held together with duct tape!
By this point DH1 had joined the bed making also and was happily
fitting sprung slats on to a frame held on to pneumatic arms by duct
tape........
I give up I really do!