to worry about financials of MIL moving in with SIL?

[NoseyNooNoo]

This is really is really on behalf of my DH who is a bit concerned.

We live in S.E. MIL lives in Yorkshire, is widowed, lonely and a bit depressed. She is 70, going on 85, and I've often worried what will happen when she can't cope anymore given that family is so far away. SIL lives in Ireland with her husband and chidren aged 15-18 years old. They have a medium sized house in negative equity.

SIL has asked MIL to live with them. This will entail MIL selling her house in Yorkshire, SIL selling her house and them buying a bigger house in Ireland. They expect to be mortgage free because MIL will fund it.

DH and I are quite relieved at this because this solves a lot of future problems / stress with MIL as her health gets worse. However, DH is I suspect a bit peeved that SIL and her husband are getting a good deal financially. We're all around the same age but DH and I will have a huge mortgage whilst SIL and her husband will have a similar sized house but be mortgage free. He thinks something should be put in MIL's will to account for the discrepency but given that MIL hasn't got tonnes of cash spare I can't see how things can be divvied up 50-50.

I think to some extent that he should leave it because at least his mum will be happy but I can see his point that his sister and husband will be getting an easy route to good-sized house without working for it - although looking after MIL in old-age seems like work to me!!

I think it would be very unwise to assume if she moves to Ireland and becomes resident there, that she can just come back here and get NHS treatment/care.

I think, particularly with such huge cuts on the horizon, this is going to be something that will be less of an option, if at all.

The SIL needs to check with a lawyer too. Certainly in Scotland, if the MIL required paid for care, the SIL and family could be evicted from the home, which would be sold to pay for long term care. This is true even if the house is in SIL's name as the Local Authority can presume that MIL gave away her assets to avoid paying for care, and insist that MIL's original assets are reclaimed. There is no time limit on how far back into MIL's financial history they can look. Nor do they have to take other family other than spouses and dependant children into account when forcing the sale of the house. So, under Scots law, SIL and family could end up homeless. Best to check how the law works in NI before either party leaps into this arrangement.

Blooming Nora! So the poor SIL could end up spending 20 years looking after her Mother only to then need her to be in a home and at the same time lose their home?! That is a really risky situation then.