to think that SIL is silly to want a home birth??

[catinboots]

I know I'm probably going to get a flaming - so let me first clarify that I am not anti home-birthing !!

SIL is 41, single and expecting her DC1 this year. She has stated she is going to request a home birth. Am I right in thinking she is a bit bonkers - due to both her age and the fact it's her first baby. Surely both these factors put her in a higher risk group?? She just keeps quoting caesarean rates and says she definatley knows that nothing will go wrong because she has a positive outlook!!! She said that health professionals are scare-mongers.

I have several friends who have had very successful home births. It is also something I would consider if I ever had a DC3.

Maybe my opinion in coloured - my mum had a full-term stillborn baby, and my DS1 was born in hospital after a very long labour and various forms of intervention. DS2 was also born in hospital - but the experience was very positive.

SIL currently lives with MIL (who is not keen on the idea either). She is 30 minutes drive from the hospital.

Beak out

her body, her birth and her choice

I would not be planning to have a home birth in someone else's house.

YANBU to think she is being unwise, but it's best to keep your thoughts to yourself on this matter.

Am not interfering. Won't say anything to her - as I know it's her choice. Just curious about other people's thoughts on home birth.

Given those circumstances its not a choice I would make, but it is her choice. She may change her mind when it starts to become a reality, but if not she may well be right and everything will be fine. I'd suggest supporting her in her choice jsut as you surely wanted people to support you in your choice.

So while YABU to have your opinion, YwouldBU to express that or try and change her mind

yabu

Riven - do you mind if I ask what happened to your DD??

YANBU to think it - though I can't see why you do, really - YWBVU to say anything. If your MIL isn't keen that's between them. Her risk factors are up to her and her care providers to assess not you. I guess you could say she sounds a bit woo with her positive attitude thing but it's not a crime and I'm sure many of us said (or secretly thought) similar. I don't think many people actually go into their first birth expecting complications and emergencies - with good reason, because chances are good they won't have any.

I happily had my first DC at home, at the suggestion of my midwife team.

So is the problem that it's her first? It's not the choice I'd make, but plenty of people do for their own reasons.
If her midwife isn't happy to take on a first birth as a homebirth, then she might try and dissuade her herself.

YABU.

This site addresses both the age and first baby issues. Neither of which render your SIL particularly 'high risk.'

Leave her alone. Sounds like the 'absolutely nothing can go wrong' mantra is actually a defense mechanism because no doubt you're not the only one being critical. A positive mindset really makes a difference in natural birth.

The only thing I would be a little bit worried about is that 30 minutes is a little longer for a transfer than I would be comfortable with, but if she's weighed up the risks and benefits and decided she will be happier and safer at home, she probably will be. If someone is really uncomfortable in hospital, it can stall or slow labour and lead to a very unpleasant delivery.

She is not silly to want a home birth - it's the nicest kind of birth usually, so a perfectly reasonable thing to want.

It may, on balance, not be the best course of action for her. But it's perfectly reasonable for her to consider the option.

Riven

I'm sure she's still perfect though

Unmanageable pain and slow labour are more likely to lead a birth into the spiral of interventions.

riven-did they not give your DD oxygen at home?

My DD got it when she stopped breathing after my HB.

catinboots- she has the right to do what she thinks is best for her

Even after my 'bad' HB, I'll be pushing for one again next time.

Are there that many homes within half hour drive of a hospital anyway?

I planned a hb with number 4 and i must admit i bottled it after reading Riven's story. As it happened after 4 perfectly straight forward births number got his shoulders stuck, i shit myself, not literally but it was terrifying and i was glad to be in a hospital. Not just the first baby that can cause mischief.

My mother had four children and my two sisters had each had one child when I was pregnant with my first. My mother and both of my sisters had very straightforward vaginal births. I thought genetic was on my side and never even considered I would be any different. Was induced on Thurday evening and DD arrived via crash section under general anaesthesion at 3am on Saturday morning.

So, I now regard the whole genetics thing as a very flawed argument. There is a whole lot more to childbirth than a positive outlook. And, in my opinion, your SIL would be wise to accept that she may or may not have the birth she intends. Lots of us plan for one thing and get something very different. Accepting that possibility may go a long way to preventing any trauma (or even PND) which may result from not having the experience yo so dearly want and expect.

Most labours that require medical intervention are apparent before they even start. It is very unusual for something to go wrong after labour has started unless you intervene.

Even then, 30 minutes is enough time to get to theatre. It is not much more than the time it takes to prep theatre when you are already in hospital.

Her midwives can advise.

Moving away from the medical arguments, does your SIL realise how messy birth is? I had a home birth planned but had to go into hospital and was really glad I didn't have to deal with all the blood, etc at home! I'm definitely going to hospital for this one.

I always said that I was lucky to have had all hospital births especially with ds and dd2 ds was starved of oxygen and with dd2 there where also compications if I'd been at home I dont know what would of happened if i'd been at home, even though hospital is only 5-10 minutes away.

Such cosmetic arguments, plumm. I didn't think my homebirths were nearly as messy as my hospital ones and the midwives were very senstive to the notion of mess. It is such an non-argument.

Has she spoken to her MW team yet? They will go over the risk factors with her and maybe she will change her mind once she knows all the facts. If she still decides to go for a hb, then I'm afraid it's her decision and not really something you should try to influence.

We tried for a hb this time around (DS2 and I'm 39). I laboured at home in the pool for about 8 hrs and ended up transferring to hospital to access more pain relief options. In the end, there was meconium in the waters and I had 1hr of syntocin to progress the labour, so I would probably have been transferred anyway.

In the end I was happy I was in hospital under the circumstances and had an unassisted birth (by that I mean no forceps etc), so I was very pleased with how it all went in the end.

There are risks associated with both home and hospital births, but it really depends on the individual and how the pregnancy goes which will determine things in the end.