to think that SIL is silly to want a home birth??

[catinboots]

I know I'm probably going to get a flaming - so let me first clarify that I am not anti home-birthing !!

SIL is 41, single and expecting her DC1 this year. She has stated she is going to request a home birth. Am I right in thinking she is a bit bonkers - due to both her age and the fact it's her first baby. Surely both these factors put her in a higher risk group?? She just keeps quoting caesarean rates and says she definatley knows that nothing will go wrong because she has a positive outlook!!! She said that health professionals are scare-mongers.

I have several friends who have had very successful home births. It is also something I would consider if I ever had a DC3.

Maybe my opinion in coloured - my mum had a full-term stillborn baby, and my DS1 was born in hospital after a very long labour and various forms of intervention. DS2 was also born in hospital - but the experience was very positive.

SIL currently lives with MIL (who is not keen on the idea either). She is 30 minutes drive from the hospital.

buzzing, "sometimes MN is like trying to teach a pig to sing. it wastes your time and annoys the pig."

More passive aggressive goobledegook.

Did anyone ever teach you to speak directly? I presume this means something to you. If you cannot express yourself clearly, then you can hardly blame the medium.

Nighty night as well.

Carmen, I'd be interested to hear what you consider are advantages of a hospital birth.

all this talk of how quickly you can get a emergency/crash c section in hospital assumes that the midwifes are actually paying you enough attention to notice if something is wrong.

I was left completely alone, unmonitored for 2 hours during my induced labour, if something had gone wrong no one would have known. At home, with a midwife in attendance just for me, if something had gone wrong I would've got to a c section A LOT quicker.

Every hospital and woman and baby is different. I am not having a HB this time because it would mean if something went wrong having to go to the awful hospital which I can't trust with mine and my baby's lives. I am booking in with a hospital which I can trust but which is too far for me to have a HB.

not suggesting I could've had an induction at home btw! But I think they probably would pay even less attention in a spontaneous labour....

OP, you're still going to have to accept the fact that it is your SIL's own choice and if you are concerned for her and her babies wealfare the best thing to do would be to become well informed, try and understand her reasons, create as calm, supportive atmosphere around her pregnancy.

As her due date draws near and when labouring she will expecially need a settled calm household. I hope she doesn't pick up on your negativity. But there is time to make a bigger effort to help her welcome her baby/your neice/nephew into the world.

I hope it all goes well, her choice is really not something to panic about.

If the hospital is a 30 minute drive, the ambulance probably would get her there a lot faster than a normal car.

With a homebirth you get one to one care from an experienced midwife and 2 to 1 care for the second stage. In hospital a midwife may well be looking after 4 women in established labour. Hospitals tend rely on electronics to monitor mothers which can cause unnecessary intervention.

A lot depends on your SIL physical fitness rather than her age. Is she obsese? Does she smoke? If she has problems with blood pressure then she will find hard to get a homebirth on the nhs.

Without knowing a bit more about your SIL its hard to say if she is being daft.

Blueshoes.. some women are simply more comfortable in hospital for whatever reason from cream carpets to unsupportive family to personal fear. Some women need medication or medical support for pre-existing conditions. There's also the option of narcotic or epidural pain relief in hospital.

The risks and benefits of home and hospital birth need weighting subjectively. They're both reasonable choices but different women have different needs and wants.

I'd temper this that I'm talking about UK hospitals. I think hospital is a rather terrifying choice in the US for low risk women, but that's a subject for another thread.

A long thread to remember what everyone said but ... I had AROM with my home birth. My son had shoulder dystocia which was well managed by the midwife with no ill effect to either of us.

There are people who would never consider homebirth but frequently they are not people who have done extensive research (when I booked mine a collegue told me that my baby would die). Most women who book one have weighed the risks and benefits and it is odd that friends (not least strangers) would say that it was a "silly" thing to do.
There are tragic cases in both hosptial and at home (Riven, Ina May lost one of her own babies and writes about it extensively). But a low-risk woman labouring at home and her baby are in less "danger" at home than they are in the hospital.

So, personal gut feelings aside OP, you need to look at the evidence and the fact that thousands of babies are born at home every year with no ill effect before you assume that everyone would have a negative first birth experience.

Really birth centers (if there were more of them) for low risk women would be the more practical choice.

US hospitals certainly do seem to be more aggressive but sadly I think UK ones are heading to catch up.

I'm in Ireland, my hospital was supposed to have an open policy as far as encouraging active labouring, the reality was the typical restricted on your back birth. I found it terrifying and quite abusive.

While attitudes remain narrowminded the system will never change.

There's no doubt that things can go wrong at home, as Riven can testify

However, many women feel vindicated in their choice of a hospital birth because their labour ended up being long, difficult and maybe required intervention. The irony is that a lot of these complications are actually a symptom of being in hospital rather than a reason to be there.

But, as others have said, it's down to the individual to decide. I've had three hbs without any trouble. Maybe I was just lucky, or maybe by staying at home I avoided the cascade of intervention that so often happens in a hospital setting. 2nd baby was born at home almost 72 hours after waters broke - had I been in hospital would def have been induced and monitored. I don't like to think about how that would have gone.....

Catinboots- of course YANBU, your sil is bonkers if she thinks all she needs for a safe birth is positive attitude. (show her what's on MN's homepage, the news whereby evidence shows higher mortality rates for home-born babies).
There's a good chance that her midwife will advice against a home birth (her first baby, her age maybe?).

But ultimately it's her choice, so, unfortunately, if she decides to climb up mount everest and give birth up there she's allowed to.
Good luck to your future niece/nephew.

Any birth under any circumstances holds an unpredictable risk. The decisions hospital staff make (or fail to make) could be just as risky as the decision to have a baby at home.

I had a textbook perfect pregnancy and planned to have my first child at home, aged 35. It turned out I needed an emergency c-section, so was blue-lit to hospital. I don't regret the decision to have a home birth as it meant most of the 36 hours of labour was spent in relative calm and comfort.

I was encouraged by my midwives to choose a home birth.

Why on earth should choosing your home to birth your child be seen as a dangerous or even radical thing? Hospital births are a relatively modern trend...

The people using words like 'bonkers' should read the thread. You might learn something.

touché, blueshoes.

I've just found out that my local hospital don't offer 1 - 1 mw care to labouring women!Is this normal?

I'm a doctor (anaesthetist) and had my first baby at home as planned three weeks ago. I am in my early 30's and had had a normal pregnancy. It was an amazing experience-I could walk around my village, baked a cake, hoovered in labour. My labour was uncomplicated and quick (waters broke 4.30am, didn't get sore until 3.30pm and baby born 8.40pm) Midwives didn't come out and stay with us until I was fully dilated. No analgesia needed as I was in my own environment so felt I could cope better. My husband is also an anaesthetist and was initially worried about a home birth but is now a home birth convert. There was a recent article published in The Lancet (medical journal-avaliable on line) stating increased neonatal death due to poor resusitation skills of those attending the bith but much lower maternal complications. I am lucky I suppose as both my husband and I are good at resusitating babies/children/adults its part of our job but the studies also were conducted outside the uk and in the uk all midwives are training, and ubdergo regular retraining, on neonatal resus. I also live 25 minutes from my nearest hospital. Both me and my husband spent the last year working in the third world this changed my ideas completely about births from my very medicalised position to wanting a home birth. I have to say everyone I work with was very supprise and quite anti a home birth before DD was born. As for mess there was none really. Within 20 minutes of giving birth everything was cleared up, I had had a shower and was dressed in normal clothes (well maternity ones still) and was sat in my front room breast feeding my new DD while my husband cooked dinner.

ops lots of typos-its the middle of the night DD is not a great sleeper !!

I hate hospitals.

I lived in west london, 15 mins from St Mary's.

I really didn't want to go and have DS in hospital so planned a home birth.

DS however had other plans. He broke the waters and then did nothing. 24 hours later they had to take me in, give me antibiotics in case of infection and an injection to get him to get a move on and that was eventually that.

It might be that she plans a home birth, and circumstances dictate that it can't be.

As it was, I think I am happy that I had him in hospital. It went fine and I am no longer scared of them as places.

IF she asks, tell her your concerns. She will be assessed by the MW and if there are any risks, they will say that she ought not to have the baby at home.

If her mother is not happy, she can say no.