to think that SIL is silly to want a home birth??

[catinboots]

I know I'm probably going to get a flaming - so let me first clarify that I am not anti home-birthing !!

SIL is 41, single and expecting her DC1 this year. She has stated she is going to request a home birth. Am I right in thinking she is a bit bonkers - due to both her age and the fact it's her first baby. Surely both these factors put her in a higher risk group?? She just keeps quoting caesarean rates and says she definatley knows that nothing will go wrong because she has a positive outlook!!! She said that health professionals are scare-mongers.

I have several friends who have had very successful home births. It is also something I would consider if I ever had a DC3.

Maybe my opinion in coloured - my mum had a full-term stillborn baby, and my DS1 was born in hospital after a very long labour and various forms of intervention. DS2 was also born in hospital - but the experience was very positive.

SIL currently lives with MIL (who is not keen on the idea either). She is 30 minutes drive from the hospital.

I had a homebirth for my ds1, and I was staying with my parents at the time.
It was absolutely fine and far better than it could ever have been in hospital for me. And I'm an hours drive from nearest hospital.

Everyone tried to talk me out of it with horror stories etc, (parents, sister, hospital consultant...) but I wasn't having any of it. I knew we would be fine and we both were.

Oh and I was considered an older other at the time too.

Let her get on with it. If there's anything to worry about she will be advised by the medical professionals. And if everything is normal then why shouldn't she be at home?! Just because you're worried.

Btw I also had my sister telling me before I had even given birth that I shouldn't bf after 6 months because it was icky. Took no notice of her on that one either!

'So, I now regard the whole genetics thing as a very flawed argument.'

Totally!

Loads of women in my family have had CSs, because they are in America.

My mother banged on and on about telling 'the doctor' that most of the women in my family had to have CSs.

I had three vaginal deliveries.

I had my first baby at home 30 mins from nearest hospital.

I would leave all worries and thoughts for your sister to think about.

Also trust the midwives, certainly with a planned home birth they are very aware of early signals that things are not going to plan which is why the transfer to hospital rate is so high for planned Hb's there are obviously always very traumatic and very sad cases where things go wrong and I am in no way belittling those experiences. There are however thousands of cery successful non eventful hb's.

YANBU

she is a fool

I am so sorry for what happened to you and your dd Riven, sadly this is a risk of HB. A small risk,but if it happens to you, as Riven can testify, it is devastating

Riv, can't remember how the apgar thing went up, he was v. similar to your dd from what you've said on MN, though nowhere near such severe epilepsy.

He was blind & quadriplegic, had 101 problems but a ridiculously happy, giggly outlook so long as he wasn't ill.

Terrible things also happen to people and babies in hospital.

I've had several friends who have awful experiences in their hospitals. And perhaps because they were in hospital.

It is no less risky in hospital if the pgy is deemed low risk.

Does that make me "a fool" then to have had a homebirth?

YABU

It is her decision and actually most women have good instincts around how they want to deliver their baby.

She must be feeling ok to be considering it.

Playing Devil's Advocate here and asking whether you might actually be feeling a little miffed that your SIL might have a successful home birth.

A lot of women have strong feelings about their deliveries and that they may have been robbed of this and that. Is this you?

To me you sound begrudging.

are all the people who give birth in hospital fools too?

unfortunately, babies and mothers are compromised during labour and delivery in hospitals up and down the country.

each mother hast he right to make an informed decision as to where and how she gives birth, be it a water birth at home or an elective section in a private hospital.

yanbu, I'd think the same for the same reasons as you

She is a fool because she is 40 and has untested pelvis.

for second / subsequent births one can make some estimates - eg you know the mothers pelvis CAN accommodate a vaginal birth, There are always foetal factors that may compromise this a second time...

but yes, IMHO a woman who decides to have a first home birth 30 mins from a hospital is a fool. 99% will 'get away with it'; 1% will have a severely damaged child that MIGHT have been avoided.

brass - no this is not about me. I had a fabulous delivery with DS2. I am concerned about the safety of my SILs DC.

unless there is anything to suggest her pelvis will be too small, then a healthy woman will be able to deliver her baby vaginally on the whole. and if there is failure to progress or indications labour is not progressing as it should, she can transfer in .many problems in labour are picked up long before they become catastrophic. with one ot one care from a MW at home, there is every chance issues will be picked up on .. in hospital. the MW will be assigned to several labouring women so there is not the same attention

And Riven I totally agree with you - shouldn't a baby's health take priority over the mother's 'experience'?

but things can and do go catastrophically wrong in hospital, and partly IME it is to do with lack of MWs and lack of intrapartum care.

simply being in hospital is not enough if your MW is not with you when things start to go wrong

everyone ahs to do what they feel is best to reduce their own risk of an unfavourable outcome, for some it is to deliver at home, with one to one care.. and the baby and mother will receive regular checking during the labour..

OK but I can't help feeling you ought to be being more supportive and the tone of your post is more about your SIL and NOT the safety of her unborn baby.

i think you have to leave it to the professionals, they wont let her have one if they think the risk is too high

my mate wanted a HB and was told no way jose as for first timers many hospitals dont like it

I don't beleive any woman goes for a homebirth with a cavalier attitude , certainly none i've met or supported. i've not met a single one who's said they have discoutned the safety of the baby for the 'experience' indeed , several have chosen a HB for the very safety of the baby

I think this is crazy risky and I don't understand why people take the risk. But you can't control her decision. I hope it all goes well. If it were my relative, I'd prefer she were going to be in a hospital, but what can you do.

plenty of research has shown that for a normal pregnancy, a low risk one, it is as safe to be at home than hospital.

i've not seen that ,riven, but i will look into it.

but there are all sorts of statistics depending on what you want to promote!