Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

for thinking friends without kids shouldnt be allowed to use the word exhausted?

126 replies

guineagents · 30/06/2010 22:07

just got this thought from a response I read in another post and TOTALLY agreed with!

My DP says I am unreasonable for finding it nigh on impossible to bite my tongue when friends without kids go on about how "exhausted" they are!

Yes they work hard. Yes they have different priorities. And yes it was me who chose to have kids.. but exhausted?? Come on!

They sleep til 11. They get to read papers all the way through. They "potter" about and have pub lunches and quiet adult drinks to "relax" after a hard week

Jealous? Me? {wink}

OP posts:
emptyshell · 01/07/2010 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

melikalikimaka · 01/07/2010 20:24

Emtyshell, I agree with you too, good luck in your quest, I really mean that.

TrillianAstra · 01/07/2010 20:24

Ah fuck off. There are plenty of ways to become exhausted, you don't need a child to help.

TrillianAstra · 01/07/2010 20:30

(sorry OP, I see you are new, that was a friendly 'fuck off' I promise)

It's not a bloody competition people!

Snobear4000 · 01/07/2010 21:35

I bet you £100 Trillian doesn't have any kids.

RunawayWife · 01/07/2010 21:45

My sister has no children and she is currently always exhausted, you see she has cancer. I am sure she would rather have a couple of kids to do the school run for and give tea.

I have two kids, two houses to take care of (long story) my wheelchair dependent mother who I take out once a week, a part time job, school PA, and endless Dr, Dentist and hospital appointments with one or other of the children, But I do not think that give me dibs on being more worn out then someone without kids.

beanlet · 01/07/2010 21:56

University lecturer -- god, how I wish I had been paid by the hour! My ghastly head of department had the nerve to record a "nominal" weekly workload of 37 hours to avoid us signing the working time directive opt out.

(Yeah, I know, all those "long holidays" -- FWIW we're entitled to 6 weeks holiday a year including bank holidays, but I don't know anyone who takes more than 2, and my DH's university doesn't even observe bank holidays!!!)

Having said that, my Mum, who is a school head teacher, asked me "Do you come home and collapse on the bed and cry every night?" and when I said "no" she said, "well, you're doing OK then" -- sounds like first year of school teaching can be even worse!

KERALA1 · 01/07/2010 22:06

YABU - you have obviously never been a junior lawyer working in the City during the boom years. I would go for nights and nights without sleep and work for months until 11pm every night and weekends then up at 6. Couldnt complain as I chose the job but then you choose to have a baby. A trustafarian friend who had never done a days work in her life warned me before DC1 was born that I would never have experienced tiredness like havign a newborn. Ha she was wrong. Dd1 was an awful sleeper but my job was about as demanding.

scottishmummy · 01/07/2010 22:14

parents cant do the poor widdle me.dont have monopoly on exhaustion.plenty folk exhausted by various stuff

its life, we work.hard.

expatinscotland · 01/07/2010 22:16

YABU.

I went out with my ex boyfriend when he was training to be a neurosurgeon.

It's a good thing he didn't have any kids, because he was wiped out.

janmoomoo · 01/07/2010 22:27

Yes, only people with children can ever be tired......., and they are the only ones doing anything worthwhile for the future of the universe, therefore their needs should be prioritised over everyone else. They are always much more busy and are the only ones experiencing true and deep love. Non-parents are shallow and lead meaningless, empty lives with their seven cats and will die sad and lonely and be buried in a council grave with no-one to visit it.

(Said in the spirit of the OP - ie tongue in cheek!! - although it does sometimes seem some parents do actually believe this.)

YABU by the way.

duchesse · 01/07/2010 22:32

The only time I have been as tired as I have since having children was when I had glandular fever at 19. It's a different sort of tiredness you have when you have a baby- it's relentless because there will be no catching up tomorrow.

SiriusStar · 01/07/2010 22:43

I am definitely less exhausted with 2 children than when I was teaching 35 children every day in a school that was nose diving into a pit of hellishness.

TrillianAstra · 01/07/2010 22:44

Haha Snobear - not too much of a leap there.

mamalovesmojitos · 01/07/2010 22:45

on a slight variation - isn't tiredness so debilitating? whether brought on from children or not . i averaged four hours sleep a night for about five months recently. this was probably similar to when dd was born, only much more tiring as i was working and studying 20 hours a day.

i got so sick and depressed and weak i really thought i had some god-awful disease brewing and insisted on many tests from my doctor. i was so worried and constantly crying. the poor man kept shouting 'you're not dying just have a rest!!'

the power of not sleeping properly is huge, and to think that others get a lot more sleep than you can provoke the green eyed monster. i have a such compassion and pity for those suffering insomnia - it must be the most terrible, awful thing. i don't know how they cope.

bananalover · 01/07/2010 22:47

A lie in nowadays is 7.30.
My idea of a lie in is 11.30.
This does not add up ...will have my proper lie in when they have all left home!

sethstarkaddersmum · 01/07/2010 22:50

the worst thing isn't the tiredness on its own, it's when you're trying to do something for which you must absolutely not be tired, like trying to give a lecture after getting two hours sleep the night before due to sick children.
(Expat's neurosurgeon friend must have experienced that quite badly I should think....)
now I'm an SAHM I don't care nearly so much if I don't get much sleep - all I have to do is get through the day.

TrillianAstra · 01/07/2010 22:58

By the way, I'm not exhausted, I'm fine. But I maintain that it is possible to be exhausted without any children in your life at all.

melikalikimaka · 01/07/2010 23:19

Can you beat this!
My Dad used to say 'What are you tired for, your'e only young!'

seb1 · 01/07/2010 23:29

I used to think I was busy and exhausted then I had children and asked my my SIL why she had been so anxious for me to have children like her, to which she replied "Why should I suffer alone"

seb1 · 01/07/2010 23:32

But what I really want to know is how your children get connected to the pressure sensor on the toilet seat so they know when you have just sat down , amazing that

RunawayWife · 02/07/2010 08:07

So I am not the only one to notice that seb1 then

Mum,
What
Where are you
In the toilet
What you doing
What do you think

This is a regular in our house

2rebecca · 02/07/2010 08:12

Sounds like some of you have too many kids. I've never been as exhausted as in my early working days.
Having kids isn't compulsary.

curryfreak · 02/07/2010 09:31

I found lots more things exhausting than parenthood. Travelling long distances frequently to see ill, and eventually terminally ill parents being one of them!

Original poster
guineagents · 02/07/2010 09:42

Jeezus god guys Yes I am new to this site and it was only meant as a frigin joke- hence comments about my mates pottering round etc!

Since posting I have been held to rights for everything from the state of peoples marriage to the fact they cant have kids, been sworn at, been told im bitter, smug and to fuck off!!

My mates who I was speaking about dont have kids cos they dont want kids. Not cos they aren't able to have em. I am gay and so are all my mates so am first amongst us all to have kids.

I had mates who joked mumsnet was clichey and unfriendly and wow was she right!

OP posts: