to think non competitive sports day is ridiculous and a waste of time

[PanicMode]

I went to a prep school where every child's strength was encouraged - whether one's strength was academic, sporting, musical, art, drama etc, it was found and nurtured.

My children's (state) school does non competitive sports day, which I think is ridiculous and in addition is unfair on those children that excel at sport - when do they get to shine or have their potential realised? (This is not because my children are fantastic at sport btw - they really aren't!).

(And for those who are going to say if you don't like it, move to the private sector - if you'd like to pay my four sets of fees, then I'd be eternally grateful )

Having a DD with fairly significant physical difficulties but who will be at mainstream primary school, I am absolutely dreading her first sports day - because she WILL want to compete and she WILL come last

Thankfully, our local school do a non-competitive sports day and are like other PP's schools split into school teams.

I am absolutely in favour of non-competitive sports days. Those who are good at sport can join school teams or county teams and excel in a fairer playing field.

And those that are good at maths or spelling can join spelling bee groups (or whatever they are called) or maths groups. Oh yes, and those that are good at theatre and get the main singing parts in the school play cause they have a good voice can go to an acting group out of school while those that are appalling singers take the lead as it will make the whole school play that much fairer !!!

Oh yes, lets not actually reward anybody for being goood at anything at school in case it upsets somebody who is bad at it ....

Nonsense.

Someone has to come last in life. Not much you can do about that.

I am the most unsporty person out there so I am not speaking as someone who has trophies everywhere. You deal with it. You learn that you are not the best and move on.

It is not the end of the world if you DC come last. You need to praise them for doing their best and that you are proud of them for taking part. MAke them good sports who congratulate the winner.

And athletics is only one type of sport. They cannot have school competitions for everything.

I do love the Steiner/Waldorf methodology and approach to encouraging individuality in our young.

Some of us may be good at maths, others at practical skills and some at sports. I was always rubbish at sports - though, I'm pretty good now.

Football was quite humiliating, as captains would choose obviously all the best players, and the rubbish ones, as myself, were often left standing last and mocked at for having you in their team.

These emotionally effect young minds tremendously - making them feel pretty damn well useless, even though they wished they could have been 'built' to play football.

It's a tricky one. But in the same context, I used to outshine all the other kids in music as I am naturally gifted with a great ear and being a good pianist.

So, I don't think you can avoid the fact that there will always be some form of competitiveness through all our lives, and yes, it is difficult being a human being for all of us - in fact all life.

It's like on here, you have some mums who think they are capable of dishing out their advice across a wide spectrum of problems arising - as if they are certain their advice is fitting - where actually, no it ain't!

Yes, we need to expose competitive situations - or at least try to break down the reasons and the psychology some people feel they need to compete to want to be the best, to say: "Hey, I climbed that mountain, it was a little higher than the one you climbed last year."

It's quite ridiculous and absurd when you study it existentially. But hey, all life has to compete - that's just the way it is folks.

I just usually refer people to "Advice, like youth, probably just wasted on the young" written by Mary Schmich.

There simply needs to be a balance. The notion of a sports day in which 'nobody is allowed to wn so the losers don't feel bad' can be read so many different ways, and implemented as such.

So you get, on the one hand, days where the children form teams and participate in a slightly forced non-competition where everyone is balanced out, and parents and the sporty children feel ignored. On the other hand, the "competetive" sports days often end up as a mockery where the non-sporty children feel utterly humiliated.

All you need is a middle ground. My seconary school had the right of it - the houses ran teams which you had to volunteer for. One person per house per race, with the running races having an A and B team, and races arranged by year group. If you didn't want to take part, you could just sit and cheer your house on from the sidelines with everyone else. There was fierce competition which allowed the sporty children to shine, but it wasn't at the expense of those who weren't sporty.

What's so wrong with putting that scheme into a primary school environment? Because an overly cometetive sports day does humiliate the non-sporty children in a way that other areas don't. The nativity play doesn't make the bad-at-acting children stand up and stumble over a heap of lines they can't remember. Nor do tone deaf children get made to stand up and sing solos. If these children are being ritually humiliated in such areas, rather than then saying that the unathletic children should suck it up too, maybe we should be stamping this kind of thing out everywhere. Why do you need to read a book out in public if you have dyslexia? Why have exam results read out from top to bottom?

No one is saying that the chilren who are talented in an area shouldn't be praised. But the trouble with a very competetive sports day in which the whole school participates is that that isn't all that happens. It doesn't just highlight the very good, but the very 'bad' as well. I wasn't a sporty child at school and I remember too well the shame in never being able to catch a ball, or hit one, or aim correctly when throwing the bean bag. I never had anything against the sporty children, but I hated being pitted against them so openly and in front of everyone. At primary school there really aren't so many opportunities for a non-sporty child to get that kind of celebration. There might be merit stickers or certificates handed out, but that tends to only be in front of the other children, not their parents as well. And nor do the non-academic children have to stand up in front of the parents and have it announced tha they're bottom of the class.

Had sports day here today.

There is one young pupil with physical difficulties and he was given a realisitic headstart resulting in a pretty fair race with him finishing about 2nd/3rd. Everyone was cheering him on.
Granted, not everyone would like the extra attention that this brings, but he seems to thrive on it.

We have 2 sports days - one (parents invited) is mildly competitive (races with winners, but no fuss made of winner/no medals/prizes) and one team event.
The races do have straight forward running races but also egg and spoon/sack race/obstacle race than the slower runners can do equally well in.

My DS2 is terribly dyspraxic and technically disabled, but we have trained him up on the running and he certainly doesn't embarrass himself. It's remembering to do things like always looking forwards rather than back at how your mates are doing, and making your arms work properly rather than flapping them about aimlessly. At primary school level this really makes a difference and he has even won the odd sticker in his time. I'd hate him to be deprived of all this just because some well-meaning person who hardly knows him decided he might be a bit upset if he lost.

I am a real fan of our sports day which is competitive.
But everyone seems to have fun and no one needs be humiliated.
Parents all cheer like billy-oh for the kids that come last - particularly in the long distance, which ought to get a cheer just for finishing didn't it?
I have DCs who are v small and merrily knock over the meter bar in the high jump. They laugh like drains, not remotely bothered, because their self esteem is high enough to take it.

We need to teach our children to win and lose gracefully.

And as Greenshadow said, no fuss need be made of the winners too much.
Ours get points for their house which all go in the pot for the house cup.
No crowns and trophies.

There seems to be a general assumption that somebody who is bad at sports will be clever at academic stuff or vice versa. Or good at music or whatever. Wish somebody would pop round and tell me which area ds shines in. Physically disabled and in bottom sets. He's a nice lad, but he's not actually good at anything. Otoh my academically gifted nephew is very musical and very athletic. There is no rule that says that life has to hand out compensations for your weak areas, nor that you are only allowed to shine in one area.

The way they get round this at my Oz secondary is to have houses competing. There are points for 1st, 2nd, etc, and points for even joining in. The house wins, not the individual.

Surely non-competitive sports days in primary school just show a gross lack of imagination and effort by the school in question. It's easy enough to do a mixed event where the track events are balanced by field events (where the results are less clear- teacher can just announce the places and leave the rest) or team games/ displays etc. I seem to remember country dancing being popular at my school although I'm with Oscar Wilde on that one.

Let the children decide what they want to do and then everyone enjoys themselves.

People who suggest sporty kids can just do their thing out of school are assuming tha the parents have the cash to fund these things.

Sports day is only one day a year, it's not like kids have to do it every week FFS.

I think that part of the answer is not to have parents there. Bad enough to be embarrassed in front of your friends, but surely much worse with a bunch of grown ups watching too, and many parents go quite overboard (others of course are lovely) plus for the children with parents who can't be there that is another reason to get really upset - repeatedly coming last in races with no-one to make you feel better is not character building, most children who are bad at sport are well aware of that fact. Luckily my childrens schools have managed to take an approach that has them coming home from school happy after an enjoyable day of running about and doing silly things too, most often with some sort of class or house award (their English school had house points for all sorts of things, lining up nicely for example). They also have lots of athletics during the summer, where they can compete to get into the city athletics meets, sports teams for those who are keen, choir for those that are interested, prizes for being kind etc. A good school should be able to balance things out (my naughty and disruptive ds came home with about as many stickers as my very good dd for example, just for different things) so that all children feel valued.

Primarily I think that education for younger children should be about nurturing and encouraging, not nature red in tooth in claw.

No wonder 'we' as a nation are shit at sports on the national stage with this attitude.

As for the physically less able, surely para-athletes are an inspiration.

Competition is good, it's healthy.

Physical education is about teaching children the techniques for sport and keeping fit and healthy.
And there has to be an element of competition, even if only with yourself.

They need to be taught how to run properly, how to kick a ball, field effectively...in the same way that they need to be atught how to conjugate a french verb or their number bonds.

Sport is all about failing but keeping at it. This is a vital lesson in life. Not just for 'success' but for inner happiness.

TBH I think the attitude engendered by the school is the defining thing.

DDs school has joint/house sports in the early years but at 8 they start comepeting individually. But the girls all get cheered by each other because they are cheering their house mates. No jeering, sneering or gloating allowed.
The girls are taught that they each have strengths and weaknesses and they may be good at sports and get the cheers for that but the girls doing well at art win the house art comp and get standing ovation, ditto music, ditto academic. Plus the girls are rewarded, given house points etc for kindness, for effort etc.
As long as it is a part of a balanced year I think it is fine.

DS2s sports day is one of my favs of the year. His sports day is comepetetive and the whole school has SN. But the teachers, parents and student set the tone - often every child gets clapped across the line and last year DD and some other sibs were roped in to compete too. Its great.
Oppertunities for children to shine are important.

For me it's all about teaching children that life has it's ups and downs and that we need to have enough self esteem to deal with the downs and the chutzpah to carry on.

As a writer I am always amazed at the number of people who would love to write for a a living but just give up at the first few hurdles.
You gotta learn to accept rejection, dust yourself off and keep on keeping on.

Sport is a fabulous way to introduce this concept to children.

ds's infant school does a non comp sports day AND a competitive one .Just started doing both this yr.

I love the way the kids' school does sports day - they are in teams, and go round a carousel of activities, clocking up 'number of repetitions' in a minute. It's still very competitive, lots of cheering etc, but no-one is the 'last one in, trailing behind the others'. Then after the activities, points for the 4 teams are counted up, and the final tally is calculated after the individual races - one for each year group, in which only the best runners from each year compete. This has been decided following heats done within PE lessons. So the best runners still get a chance to shine, without having to prove HOW much better they are than the poorest runner.

People have said that other subjects are competitive - not in the same way though. Imagine getting all the school and parents together, and holding up a piece of art and saying 'look how fantastic this is. It is SO much better than this piece of art done by Jane in class 3'. Or getting a child who is good at spelling and one who is poor to stand up together, just so the child who is good at it can demonstrate HOW Good. Wouldn't happen, and we would be outraged as parents if our kids were used in this way.

So I think a mixture of activities, with the emphasis on fun, plus a few races for the ones who really want to do it and who excel at sport. Actually I don't think opportunities for sporty kids to shine are particularly rare - in the school newsletter, kids are always being congratulated for one sporting achievement or another, but the musical/arty/academic kids hardly ever get a mention, because it is more of an on-going thing.

I would be very sad if they brought back the old-style sports days, as my memory of them is sitting on the field, in blazing hot sun, for the most part not taking an active part, not able to see the races particularly, and dreading your own race. Whereas the way my children do it, they are involved for the whole time, are fiercely competitive FOR THEIR TEAM, and have great fun.

I agree, learning to win and lose graciously is important. I disagree that having art on display is the same as forcing children to take part in a competitive race - it might be if the art was ranked on the wall from 'best to worst'. In music, a talented child might play in assembly - the other children wouldn't all be handed an instrument and be expected to make a fool of themselves on it. And surely the equivalent of the reading/maths tables happens within PE lessons. All the kids already know who is 'best at sport'. It doesn't have to be on public display in front of all the parents. Which is why I like the HYBRID approach of the sports day at our school, where the kids who do excel at sport can take part in an individual competitive event, the others can have fun in the team games. That makes far more sense to me than forcing all the children to 'race' publicly.

I don't think forcing children into events they don't want to do, where they will come trailing in at the end is teaching to lose graciously. I think that is tantamount to humiliation. And what about, as riven says, children with disabilities. Even without the very obvious disabilities some children have, there are children who are registered blind in the school, they certainly wouldn't be able to participate in a traditional sports day. So a day which has elements for everyone is much less divisive.