To not want my daughter to have boys names?!

[NETTEYJC]

Have been with my partner for several years, he is Muslim, I'm Christian. Before I got pregnant I always said that the baby could have a muslim and if it was a boy it could also have his fathers name as a middle name. However, now that I am pregnant and expecting a girl my partner has said that she should have a muslim name, followed by his name, his fathers name, his grandfathers name and his great grandfathers name ( as is normal in his culture). Therefore, my poor daughter would be called something along the lines of Amira Hussian Abdul Ali Mahmoud ( Not the actual name but you get my point). Am I being completely unreasonable to put my foot down to this? I was thinking something pretty along the lines of Amira Rose then a double barrel surname!

YANBU as you set out what you would accept beforehand and presumably he agreed. However, you and he need to reach an agreement that is acceptable (if not ideal) from both your perspectives.

Are you considering having more children? If so, I have heard of people agreeing that the mother can choose the girls names and the father can choose the boys.

Um, well its up to you obviously, but apart from passport and maybe business card one day, wont she just be known as "Amira"? And that's a lovely pretty girls name?

Dont like the thought that he's moved the goalpost - but apart from that, it may not really matter in the long run once she's born?

To be honest you are being as unreasonable as he is. She will be his daughter to after all.

It gets on my nerves that men assume a baby will have their name, despite not being married to the mother or without considering that the mother might want her baby to have her own last name. He had an agreement with you and it isn't fair to change the terms because the baby is a girl. I bet he would have held you to your agreement had your baby been a boy. Stick to what you want. His traditions are not yours and are not of more importance. The pair of you had a deal and he should not go back on it.

Sloany, am worried when she goes to school and all of the other children know her name - she'll be ribbed to death!!! I personally don't think it's fair to give a girl boys names. What has p'eed me off is that he is now completely putting his foot down and saying she must have all of these names! Yes it's is culture but as the child is half English he needs to learn to compromise.

YANBU.

If you then went on to have son, would that mean son & daughter having the same middle names?

Amira is lovely if you are thinking of that?

Are there female versions of your husbands/his fathers names that could be used?

Just curious, so forgive my cultural ignorance, but what would happen if you got pregnant again and had a son?
Personally, I don't think I would allow DP to name a (hypothetical) daughter "Olivia David Thomas John Roger" but that's just me

scaredtodeath - how is the OP being unreasonable? She agreed to a muslim first name. Why should the father make all the choices and the mother none?

scaredtodeath - I have said that she can have his surname as well as mine, surely that is being reasonable?

For me, it would be compromise enough her having a non English first name, without giving her male names as well.

sounds like he is changing the goalposts, you only agreed to his dad's name for a boy.

Yes it's is culture but as the child is half English he needs to learn to compromise. completely agree with this point I think you and your dh reached a agreement and it should be honored.

Yes diddl, any more children would have to have the same names, if we had a son in the future then he would also be (childs name)Hussian Abdul Ali Mahmoud ... as would any other future offspring! My partner has 7 sisters who all have their fathers, grandfathers, great grandfathers names!

Middle names don't really matter. No-one says this enough.

I think you should tell him that you are 'saving' those names for your (hypothetical) son.

Amira Rose sounds really pretty name for girl both muslim and british.
I would not like my dd have all male ancestors name from her fathers side.

I don't see the harm of putting all those names on the birth certificate if it matters so much to your partner. You don't need to use them thereafter for anything except her passport - I doubt many forms will have room for them. So, Amira Rose Hussain etc etc but on school forms just use Amira Rose (which is indeed very pretty)

Also, OP, perhaps you have female relatives whose names you would like to use for your daughter.

On the other side, as they are foreign names, nobody will know any better and will not assume they are boys names IYSWIM?

gorionine-you are joking, of course, that just because the names are foreign people will not be able to tell if they are male or female?

lol gorionine, only really ignorant people might not know they are males names ... the average joe would know!

No, not jocking at all. My dcs have got muslim names and most people when they hear DS2's name without him actually be here think it is a girls name because it sounds like a "Nadine" I suppose it could also work the other way round?

Tell him if you have boy then you would like call him Mohamed Janet Dorothy Norma Grace Hussain.

no, these really do sound like males names! ... and what with her having 4 male names it would be hard for anyone to confuse all 4 of them with being female names.

And if you take the exemple of ALi, it is a muslim boy's name but can equally be a girl's name in other parts of the world.

lol Divatheshopaholic, might try that one!