to think my DP's friend is Out Of Her Tree?

[JaneS]

My DP has some friends who I find a bit strange. They are very full-on about everything: everything is political, everything is oppressing them. They are very keen on speaking up for 'oppressed' groups of which they are not members. And they tell me more than I need to know about the wonders of their open marriage and non-heteronormative lifestyle.

Aaanyway. Obviously most of the time I just keep my face still and try not to snigger too openly. Just now I have seen a full-page rant that the lass has shown to us all, which details the horrors of the new Shrek movie. Which is not out yet. Apparently, our friend is being 'heroic' in challenging body fascism where she meets it, using many pseudo-political terms along the way. The basic message is 'it's not good to make fun of fat people', and I agree with this. However, when this is worked out for a whole page of type by someone who herself spends hours at the gym achieving her perfect look, er ... AIBU to think she is NUTS?

Oh they sound a bit bonkers. I like bonkers people.

Not sure really !
My sister called me a body fascist cos i am / or was a fitness aholic (according to her). It was my job , so keeping fit and slim is still important to me.
I guess she is slightly OTT and very self opinionated.

You think only fat people should care about people making fun of fat people?

Good on your DP's friend for (a) keeping herself fit and healthy, and (b) still caring about those less lucky than her in the fitness stakes.

I'll bet she is like the Middle Class white people in our office that wanted to ban Christmas trees and decorations incase it offended others of a different religion. Until my Sikh assistant piped up that she puts her Christmas tree up as soon as her Diwali celebrations are over....

Nobody else seemed to care.....

People like that just exhaust me. Do you have to have an extreme opinion, or even an opinion on everything...?

They are indeed bonkers Sloany!

They're mostly fine in small doses, I just wanted to share the nuttiness with someone as they're DP's friends and I don't want to offend him. It's just occasionally my bullshit detector goes haywire. Apparently we should all self-identify as 'TAP' (temporarily able-bodied) to remind ourselves that we could all become disabled - and we should tell disabled people that we are doing this in solidarity with them. ... There is plenty more nuttiness where this comes from.

'People like that just exhaust me. Do you have to have an extreme opinion, or even an opinion on everything...?'

Thanks, that's exactly it. If you make everything into your personal, political struggle, we do get tired of listening.

They are intellectually just too confident. . .. . .I hate that in a person. . .
makes yer sick !!

Oh bless her - she means well. Better than a bigot imo. However, I imagine it becomes wearing after a while

True, much better than a bigot!

She is intellectually very confident - she has offered to help me with my degree before, which is kind of sweet and irritating in equal measure.

Yuno, do you not think there's something borderline offensive about adopting every passing cause and claiming it personally, though? I mean, this is woman who's married to a man but feels oppression as a self-identifying lesbian, a woman who is white but married to a Jewish man so feels the pain of ethnic minorities, a woman who self-identifies as a 'geek' and therefore claims she is part of an oppressed subculture, etc. etc. It's not that any single 'cause' isn't worthy, it's that all of them together are a bit hard to take seriously.

They're the Modern Parents out of Viz, aren't they?
Despite being quite happy to challenge heteronormative privilege myself, there are times when it's not worth the aggravation of having a pop at every little expression of difference.

I just wonder how much enjoyment of life and simplicity these people experience?

There never seems to be a comfortable silence. (Apart from the ones I introduce for the dread of hearing an hour long retort on any opinion)

it is out, my dcs saw it yesetrday

Is she on MN? She'd love it!

Arf at Malcolm and Cressida... had forgotten all about them, SGB

Wow, I hope she's not on MN! I'll know about it soon enough if she is, I reckon.

compo, what's it like then? Any good?

As I'm still recovering from a knee injury, a broken toe, and have bruised my other toe and am doing a half-marathon in October I would be DELIGHTED to be TAB. I'm sure this will be a great comfort to all those with diabilities.

I had a colleague like this once. My jaw dropped during the bombing of Kosovo when she came into the office and whinged that SHE was sleep deprived because she'd stayed up all night watching it on CNN. Oddly enough she did fuck all for Kosovans beyond ranting in work. My friend who was actually out there working for the Red Cross made far less fuss about it!

Wow ... edam, that's actually pretty horrible.

DP's friend does go on a lot about the fact that she trains Red Cross workers for the Afghan war, but to be fair, at least she is doing the training not just talking!

YANBU - your DP's friends are bonkers, but they sound highly entertaining - keep them around!

Mind you, I used to have a friend like that and I might not have minded so much her banging on about how she identified so much with lesbians/ethnic minorities/the working classes, etc, if she hadn't always been making snide digs at me for coming from a white, middle class, Christian, two-parent family background! Apparently this means I know nothing

It's patronising though isn't it? The one about being 'temporarily able bodied' in particular.

I know a few people like this - they spend ages talking about things, write a few articles which get published n minor publications and then are all smug and think they are saving the world - whilst sitting in their lovely living room drinking a nice bottle of merlot.

Whereas the people I know who are 'doers' just get on with it.

Oh yeah, it's the ones who are forever wanking on about stuff (and think talking and whining are somehow positive things and mean they care - as opposed to actually rattling a collecting tin or going and scrubbing some floors or wiping some bums to help the suffering) and sneering at you if you have a drink, tell a joke, or buy yourself something nice.

Mind you if you want to get classist about it (grabs some popcorn) it's the middle classes who wank on about 'isms' and stuff and make you feel guilty for having fun, those among the lower orders who have the fun-spoiling wank gene express it by going tediously beserk over dead slebs/cute-kiddie murder cases or sports results and getting all arsy if you regard those things as neither your business nor your problem.

dogooders who sign a petition online and read one article but are actually experts on the subject....yawn

Yes usually white middle class pompous smug wanks who like to debate HOW AWFUL it all is at dinner parties but never get off their back sides and actually DO anything to help.

I like to jump in and ask them what they propose to do about it other than rahrahrah about it. Soon shuts them up.

I think if I told my disabled friend I was 'temporarily able bodied' in solidarity with him he'd tell me to f*ck off

I went on a course once, ages ago.

I got chatting to some workers from a children's charity.

Two were white and two were black. One African, one St Lucian (first generation). We were chatting about our jobs and they told us about two managers. Both were white, middle class and university educated. They were very into race and equality. They came down very heavy on any sniff of anything improper. Quite right to be anti racist obviously.

The trouble is with the two managers in question was that when the two black workers tried to expain that certain things were NOT offensive to black people, they were dismissed because they were

over assimilated

so if they disagreed with the managers it was only because they had been brainwashed and had let go of their roots

Now that is mental!

I have a friend a bit like that but she is actually very nice with it.

She gets herself tied up in knots about every bloody decision she has to make.

Its quite sad funny to watch bless her.

Sounds like op's 'friend' could be a member of People's front of Judea or is it the popular people's front - with one of the men wanting to emphathise with all oppressed women and campaigning for his right to have a baby.

I too knew a woman who claimed after a friend had visited the mass grave which contained the bodies of his Croatian girlfriend's family 'Oh that's nothing John, I've had to dig a mass grave'