to think my DP's friend is Out Of Her Tree?

[JaneS]

My DP has some friends who I find a bit strange. They are very full-on about everything: everything is political, everything is oppressing them. They are very keen on speaking up for 'oppressed' groups of which they are not members. And they tell me more than I need to know about the wonders of their open marriage and non-heteronormative lifestyle.

Aaanyway. Obviously most of the time I just keep my face still and try not to snigger too openly. Just now I have seen a full-page rant that the lass has shown to us all, which details the horrors of the new Shrek movie. Which is not out yet. Apparently, our friend is being 'heroic' in challenging body fascism where she meets it, using many pseudo-political terms along the way. The basic message is 'it's not good to make fun of fat people', and I agree with this. However, when this is worked out for a whole page of type by someone who herself spends hours at the gym achieving her perfect look, er ... AIBU to think she is NUTS?

I thought I knew this couple until OP said the man was Jewish...

They're now quieter about the TAB thing after disabled friends hit them with a cluestick and told them to go lobby for well-signed step-free routes, accessible loos not full of spare crap, etc. Unfortunately they march into any situation and start spouting legal stuff which just pisses people off.

My favourite Noisy Type was a woman I once worked with who kept insisting "I'm not a vegetarian, I just don't eat meat" Which would have made sense if she didn't also tell everyone how evil they were for eating gelatin and wearing leather and using non-meat animal products. She knitted her own sanitary towels and might have actually tried to weave lentils...

There's got to be a sit-com in this somewhere.... 'TAB Fab'?

I have a friend like this. She ties herself in such knots over what words to use that she can't actually finish a sentence. It's very wearing.

Chil - there is a sit-com about this already. Clare in the Community is a radio series about a right-on social worker and it's pant-wettingly funny.

I lurve SGB's first post, sums it up perfectly.

Don't talk about a cause, bloody help it.

My friends girlfriend is like this. She wants us to stop eating HAM (Herring, Anchovies and Mackeral) as its damaging to Salmon....

We used to listen attentively but now just call her Badger Muff (she doesnt dye her hair as its sooooooo bad for you) behind her back. Its far more entertaining.

When I read your op, I had a mental picture of uber-earnest student types sitting around working out what cause to support next, what unPC-like behaviour needs to be challenged next and where the next Demonstration should be.

But that's probably a bit unfair.

I'm sure they are pretty tiring though!

I have a horrible feeling that I am exactly like your friend. If the privileged don't speak out about oppression, then surely they're collaborating in that oppression?

I think we all know some people who are like that to a degree - my mum and her friends are all like that anyway.

The thing is, I think it's a bit unfair to complain that these people are middle class (as they inevitably are).

If middle class people openly didn't give a fuck about anybody less well off than themselves they'd get slated, so one wonders what they are ideally supposed to do if when they do express concern for others this is deemed patronising etc.

There is a difference between speaking out against oppression and injustice, and this faux 'solidarity' that can end up being quite patronising.

I work with a minority group who have been through situations that are so far outside my own experiences, that I can't actually even begin to comprehend it.

All I can do, is listen to what they are telling me, listen to what they want, and then do my very best to achieve it for them. I don't need to pretend or even try to feel their pain, because I never will. And if I did, it would probably stop me being able to help them effectively.

Morriszapp I don't think anyone would disagree with you, that concern shuld be classless, it just seems that these things are always "hotly" debated over a supper of lentil bake and organic Rioja infront of the Aga, and not actually on the front line!

should , even. Wish someone would come out in support of my hideous typing affliction.

Well said, Thistle. I think most people on this tread are poking fun at the right-on equivalent of 'holier than thou' types ? people who are more into posturing about how caring they are than actually doing something to help the real people involved in whatever their chosen cause is.

Nowt wrong with being middle class as such, there is something wrong with being middle class but pretending to know ALL about the working class struggle because your great-great-grandad once met a miner.

Ifancykevin, thankfully not my own workplace - just an organisation I was writing about!

It's interesting, too, that lots of people who could claim to be part of 'the oppressed' wouldn't do so for precisely the reason thistle gives. A friend of mine became badly physically disabled after an illness but she doesn't like to talk about 'what it's like being disabled' because she doesn't feel as if she knows a lot about it herself yet.

I reckon as a generalization, people who actually know or care about a certain issue, get less and less keen on labels for it, whereas people who want to show off enjoy peppering their conversation with clever pseudo-words.

bran, it Claire in the Community radio show based on the old cartoons from the guardian? I loved those!

I really can't stand people who get offended on behalf of other people, without even considering whether the other people are offended or not.

For example, in our office, management banned Christmas stuff as it was offensive to Muslims. Not that they had consulted anyone, mind you.
The Muslims, however, put in a complaint that that they weren't allowed to put up Christmas decorations "like we do every year here" - their words.

I'm with you on that one, Gay40!