to ask for some clarification for MN newbies?

[fuzzypicklehead]

I haven't been here long, but I've read what seems to be conflicting advice in response to some threads over the past few months. Can I just ask a few questions about "best MN practice" to avoid annoying people?

For example:

• I've seen arguments break out in threads where posters are advised to take their arguments elsewhere because they are distracting from the purpose of the thread. But then posters also seem to complain when they spot a thread about a thread. So which is worse:
  a) having a bunfight which hijacks a thread, but is also resolved there? Or
  b) starting another thread to fight it out there?

• If I want to talk about a topic that may have been discussed previously, should I:
  a) search for existing posts and bump/add to it, or
  b) start a new thread and risk everybody yawning at me?

*Certain topics seem to have been done so much that everybody gets pretty annoyed when they come up again. I'm thinking of: BF/FF, mother & child car parking spaces, eating grapes in the supermarket, etc. (There are probably many more that I can't think of at the moment) And yet there will probably always be new mums (& trolls) who join MN and want to talk about those things. What should they do in that case?

Any other useful information/rules/guidelines for a relative newbie who doesn't want to inspire wrath?

Ooh, and apologies for the very many grammatical errors in the above...

its a minefield!!

have been here a good few years and it still confuses me too

but remember,the long time posters dont own this place,so dont worry too much!!!

Ohhhh ...grabs notepad and pen... Have pondered this often myself!

Starting a thread in the circumstances you describe isn't necessarily a thread about a thread. If it's a different topic that detracts from the thread in a way that is affecting the discussion at hand, then another thread is sometimes the best thing. Usually it's clear whether it's necessary. And if it becomes a personal attack or malicious then the advice is always to contact HQ.

Starting new topics? Well I always search the archives first to answer my question. If it cannot be answered or there's a genuine discussion to be had, I'll start a thread.

Finally and most importantly, all newbies are supposed to buy me a gingerbread man. It's an initiation ceremony.

I have no opinions on the threads about threads, and could care less but if there really is annoyance about starting threads about topics that have been done before, that is just plain stupid and should be ignored.

The whole point of a forum like this surely is that it is dynamic? You want to exchange opinions NOW about an issue, not trawl thru some threads about what so and so said about grapes in the supermarket three years ago.

If people don't want to read another thread about working mothers etc... hey! they don't have to! and if they get annoyed that someone else does, then boo hoo for them.

Grapes in the supermarket? That was eons ago- you don't sound like a newbie to me!

here a tip.dont apologise to spelling bullies
post what you want
no mn grudges
keep any contention on the original thread imo
dont dither about rules.pile in and post
and remember just words on a screen

Welcome to mumsnet. Please don't start threads/personally attack a member. Telling them they are being a twat is fine, telling them that they are a twat and you hope their house to burn down isn't.

Grapes in the supermarket? Off to search now.

i think old threads can give some good advice....but also outdated

lot of ole gimmers and bullies used to say
yawn/we did that already/search the archives. there may be a lot of amanda priestly editor size egos on mn but the only actual moderators are mnhq

fortunately all the yawn crew have decreased

Use the search facility before posting on a contentious subject.
Read lots of posts to get a flavour of the place so that you don't start off on the wrong foot.
Don't put swear words in the title of your post(unless its really pertinent to the subject matter)
Don't expect an answer straight away -a few bumps (posts which are designed to push original post up the list)are okay -lots are obsessive.
Don't publicly flounce. If you want to stop being associated with the site just stop posting. You might be missed briefly but -you know -life goes on.

completely disagree about use search facility
post what you want
some topics are mn perennials.and much loved for it.hell working mums/sahm go around forever
look just be spontaneous and post
ohhh and ahhhh about right mn way is stifling

don't bump old threads or you'll get me huffing atcha

no txtspk, proper paragraphs please

the rest of it, well just jump in

Good luck

i dont understand how threads reappear from yonks ago - who finds them and thinks ah 2003 a vintage year

ach be bold!the ole perennials are the best.great amount of argy bargy and himphy faces

dont avoid any topic.flex phaanges.pile in.

Thanks for that! Off to start a thread about pierced, circumcised SAHMs on benefits who smoke in parent/toddler spaces while eating grapes & guzzling fruit shoots...

dont forget us negligent mums who work ft and use nursery

Be bold. Be honest. Don't give a hoot if an OP is a Troll. Enjoy the bargy as Scotishmummy says.

Accept that someone will say you're wrong no matter what you do and grow a hide like a rhino. Talk about what you want to talk about. People will either reply or not. None of the posters get to decide what's talked about and what isn't (much as some might try )

And accept that people aren't always going to agree with you and that's ok. Just don't strop off because that's childish.

Use mn how it pleases you. Bugger what anyone else says or thinks or how they think you should use it.

Except for text speak. Please don't use text speak. We're mostly too old to understand it.

And hello there

oh god, and the yawning that pisses me right off. It's rude. Just because YOU'VE (that's 'you' as it whoever does the yawning and the "we've done this" sort of post) had a conversation before that means the conversation may not be had by anyone, anywhere, ever ever again, in case you overhear it? Arrogant, ignorant buggers.

remember
OPINIONS ARE LIKE ARSEHOLES
EVERYBODY HAS ONE