to ask for some clarification for MN newbies?

[fuzzypicklehead]

I haven't been here long, but I've read what seems to be conflicting advice in response to some threads over the past few months. Can I just ask a few questions about "best MN practice" to avoid annoying people?

For example:

• I've seen arguments break out in threads where posters are advised to take their arguments elsewhere because they are distracting from the purpose of the thread. But then posters also seem to complain when they spot a thread about a thread. So which is worse:
  a) having a bunfight which hijacks a thread, but is also resolved there? Or
  b) starting another thread to fight it out there?

• If I want to talk about a topic that may have been discussed previously, should I:
  a) search for existing posts and bump/add to it, or
  b) start a new thread and risk everybody yawning at me?

*Certain topics seem to have been done so much that everybody gets pretty annoyed when they come up again. I'm thinking of: BF/FF, mother & child car parking spaces, eating grapes in the supermarket, etc. (There are probably many more that I can't think of at the moment) And yet there will probably always be new mums (& trolls) who join MN and want to talk about those things. What should they do in that case?

Any other useful information/rules/guidelines for a relative newbie who doesn't want to inspire wrath?

Agree with others, 'thread about a thread' is only wrong when it's 'ooh, have you seen that thread, isn't op a twat' kind of thing, that's talking behimd someone's back + not on.
'yawn'ing is so off. Do you yawn at your mates if they start talking about nappies again? Exactly.
Pile in, enjoy.

Just go with the flow. I wouldn't have a clue what goes on. I just put in my two cents worth whenever I feel like it.

No one seems to mind. Probably because I'm pretty dull.

Oo yes good one Jason - no shouting in capitals. And no spelling mistakes if possible.

Oo yes good one Jason - no shouting in capitals. And no spelling mistakes if possible.

And no posting the same thing twice.

DON'T use the search facility - it results in people bumping three year old threads which people then waste time reading and posting on. Just start a new thread and tell anyone who yawns at you to piss off.

Ignore the yawners - they make themself look like a right tit.

"i dont understand how threads reappear from yonks ago - who finds them and thinks ah 2003 a vintage year "
I ask the bumper every single time and they never answer. But they obv don't think ahhh 2003 a vintage year as they respond to the OP as if the thread was recent. For example I saw someone providing advice on sleep problems- hang on the OP's child is 3 years older, i'd be surprised if the advice still applies!

Agree with others.

Pile in.

Just don't use the words hun/bubba/hubby.

And welcome.

Ahem.

I meant, welcome.

Not, don't use the word welcome.

Another tip.

Try to make your meaning clear the first time.

What is a 'troll'?

Firstly don't assume that annoying people is a bd thing. It is easyto annoy people as some wantto be annoyed. So post what you want as long as it is not really mean spirited towards an individual.

And try to remember that you are talking to lots of individuals.
People talk about 'regular posters' or 'old timers' or even MN as if it is a big committee where embers reply as a corp.
They arm't.
Just a bunch of people in their homes chatting about crap.

If you treat MN as a group then you can feel picked on or on the outside. If you remember it is individuals it is harder to feel outside

Can someone please answer for me what AIBU by stealth is?

Is it where you drip feed info, where you are presenting the unreasonable bit as if it were done against you but in fact you are the perpertrator of the unreasonable behaviour or something else altogether???

Never quite managed to work it out possibly because I've seen the term bandied about in slightly different contexts...

It is withholding info and only telling it later to put your behaviour in a better light.

so , pretending you werethe victim when you were actuallythe perp is one

But also

"AIBU to send my child to bed because he spilt milk on the floor and wouldn't apolgise?"

No - that seems fair

"I had told him not to do it but the cat was on fire and he thought it would put the flames out. Oh...and he is 18 months old and can't speak yet....

"Just a bunch of people in their homes chatting about crap."

Well, akchewally, Pag, some of us are at work chatting about crap............

Plough in and join the bunfight! just remember this... 'sometimes it's better to just walk away'! If your thread is out of hand and no one is listening to you, just leave them to it!

Never ever say "I'm entitled to my opinion", unless on the Jeremy Kyle show.

To my mind, it constitutes instant loss of argument.

The correct response to 'I'm entitled to my opinion', is 'Yes, and I'm entitled to disregard it'

Do whatever you want. If what you say is interesting, funny, or clever people will appreciate it even if it's a thread about a thread or offends someone or whatever.

Learn the acronyms.

And be aware that some of the words that seemed like harmless childhood insults in the playground many years ago are actually very offensive and hurtful to people.

A quick trip to alter your settings and hide any topics that don't interest you will be worth it in the long run.

Don't put kisses at the bottom of your post. It's odd.

Poledra

Can't believe I walked straight into a WOHM/SAM blunder.....

Also familiarise yourself with the list of topics. And post in the appropriate topic.

If you don't want your thread to descend into a mass brawl, prob best to avoid AIBU!!

We have this Talk netiquette page but we should probably flag it up a bit more. We'll look at doing that.

I am also at work chatting about crap.

And, yes 'people' chatting about crap, not necessarily mums chatting about crap for all that the name might suggest it.