to ask for some clarification for MN newbies?

[fuzzypicklehead]

I haven't been here long, but I've read what seems to be conflicting advice in response to some threads over the past few months. Can I just ask a few questions about "best MN practice" to avoid annoying people?

For example:

• I've seen arguments break out in threads where posters are advised to take their arguments elsewhere because they are distracting from the purpose of the thread. But then posters also seem to complain when they spot a thread about a thread. So which is worse:
  a) having a bunfight which hijacks a thread, but is also resolved there? Or
  b) starting another thread to fight it out there?

• If I want to talk about a topic that may have been discussed previously, should I:
  a) search for existing posts and bump/add to it, or
  b) start a new thread and risk everybody yawning at me?

*Certain topics seem to have been done so much that everybody gets pretty annoyed when they come up again. I'm thinking of: BF/FF, mother & child car parking spaces, eating grapes in the supermarket, etc. (There are probably many more that I can't think of at the moment) And yet there will probably always be new mums (& trolls) who join MN and want to talk about those things. What should they do in that case?

Any other useful information/rules/guidelines for a relative newbie who doesn't want to inspire wrath?

I think that old threads tend to get bumped when someone finds mumsnet through google etc by typing something in a question form like "What is the best way to get a baby to sleep through the night" and it throws up an old thread as a result. Then they join, and being inexperienced on forums/the internet just add their question onto the end of the old thread. And then never come back to it because by the next time they come onto the computer, they've forgotten which website they were on before and can't work out how to find it again. Or they accidentally type "netmums" into the address bar and are drawn in by all the shiny tickers. (I did register for both at first, thinking "I'm sure I already signed up for this site..." not realising it was somewhere totally different )

Confusion can also occur if new posters have been using other forums, on some forums the polite thing to do is to bump an old thread to keep information in one place. E.g. MoneySavingExpert, if you ask a question on washing machines there, it lasts for about three posts and then a helpful mod pops up and says "Hey, I've merged your thread with the washing machine thread, hope this helps!" And then of course everyone ignores your specific question because they can't be bothered to read the entire thread... But anyway. On some forums the etiquette is to find an older thread and bump that.

Also, on the washing machine thing, does that work for gunky washing machines too?

To OP - do what you like, there are no rules other than the ones that MN HQ posts

Also, just ignore cliques. If you see someone talking about something interesting, wade right in. Be honest but don't go out of your way to offend people, and don't give a toss what anyone thinks of you. And I don't care if it's un-mumsnetty, sometimes hugs are in order.

Come to think of it, these are my rules for socializing in real life too