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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

really annoyed about this

80 replies

Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:36

DS lost his jumper at school on Tuesday. He was supposed to look for it on Wednesday and ask the teacher for help if he couldn't find it, but he "forgot". So on Thursday am, DH asked the TA at drop-off. Nothing happened (i.e. the teacher did not ask the children to check their jumpers or ask their parents to check at home). So I asked again at pick-up on Thursday afternoon. This time the TA said she would leave a note on the teacher's desk. Then today, Friday nothing happened again.
I am annoyed with DS for losing it and not even trying to find it, but he is just 7, so I know it is normal. However I am really annoyed with the teacher because I know she feels it is beneath her to help with these kind of things.

The jumper costs the same as the upcoming school trip and I am very tempted to let the HT know that I will be giving my school trip contrib to the school supplier instead.

OP posts:
SloanyPony · 25/06/2010 18:43

I dont have a 7 year old, so I'm not particularly expert in ages/stages up on that spectrum yet, so I'll go with what you say as it being normal, regular type behaviour and that they are not quite there yet with looking after possessions etc.

If this is the case, I'd expect a little help or co-operation from the TA / teacher - they might have a standard procedure which is to do a quick check or ask the children to check or whatever, like you mentioned - and I would expect that to happen, yes, so YANBU if they have done nothing and if you are sure they have done nothing at all and not just semm disinterested but actually did something, etc.

Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:49

Air-headedness seems to be something that goes hand in hand with being 7, or so I am told by every other exasperated mother in DS's class. If I were the teacher, I'd be inclined to find it annoying too, but it is part of her job, so she should just learn to work with it as the rest of us have to!

OP posts:
skidoodly · 25/06/2010 18:49

Did the Queen knit his jumper or something?

If, as you say, it is a normal (even everyday?) occurence for 7 year olds to lose things, how much class time do you think should be spent looking for lost items, and how many times a week should 30-odd sets of parents be asked to join in the hunt?

TheArmadillo · 25/06/2010 18:50

YABU

Teachers are very busy and have a lot better things to do than to search for your child's jumper.

I presume you have already checked the lost property and searched the cloakroom.

My ds is 5yo and already lost a jumper (amongst other stuff). We had to fork out for a new one in the end - and yes they cna be expensive and we are on a low income as well.

But it is not the school's responsibility to check all this. They cannot do it for every child in the school.

We check ds everytime he comes out of school to check he has everything (he never does) and then send him back in to collect what he has forgotten. If he can't find something then we check the cloakroom and then keep searching the lost property.

I'd be pretty annoyed if ds teacher spent 20 minutes out of a day to look for lost property. Imagine doing that for 30 children with the frequency they lose stuff.

cory · 25/06/2010 18:51

I would keep nagging your ds until he asks the teacher. Yes, he is only 7, but if you nag him enough, he will eventually do it.

Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:51

Armadillo - I am not allowed into the school to check these things and there is no lost property. All I can do is ask the teacher to help - that is the school procedure.

OP posts:
mumblechum · 25/06/2010 18:51

You're going to have to go & hunt through lost property.

Why does he need a jumper in 28 degree heat anyway?

unfitmother · 25/06/2010 18:51

Is it labelled?

CarGirl · 25/06/2010 18:52

One of the mums at our school simply did a short note asking to check for missing jumpers/cardis at home. She photocopied them put them into book bags and about 5 missing items turned up!

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 18:53

no lost property

Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:53

Cory - DS is intimidated by his teacher. There have been a number of times this year when he has had to speak to her but he's knowingly lost out rather than do it. I tried again with him on Wednesday and then took it on myself on thursday.

OP posts:
Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:54

I'd happily do that cargirl, but I'd need the teacher's help with the bookbags.

OP posts:
Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:54

yes it is labelled

OP posts:
LimaCharlie · 25/06/2010 18:55

I'm afraid that lost items of clothing are pretty normal - we usually loose at least 3 sweaters a year.

In our school any lost property is collected up - if there is a name on it, it gets returned to the child, if not it is put in a box in the office for child to come and rifle through.

With the best will in the world even if they did ask the children to check their jumpers - if someone else has taken it home then it could easily be languishing at the bottom of their laundry basket and not re-surface til Monday morning

unfitmother · 25/06/2010 18:55

It should turn up then - eventually!

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 18:55

tbh - I think you've got bigger things to worry about than his lost jumper if you're not allowed into the school to help him look at the end of the school day, and they have no lost property - sounds unlike any other school I know of!

Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:56

The school like them to take the full uniform into school each day, just in case they need it. I completely agree with you about the likelihood of that in 28C heat, but those are the rules. However, he took it off because it is 28C and therein lies the source of the problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:57

toccatanfudge - are you allowed into your Dc's school to wander about? What about CRB checks etc?

OP posts:
ReneRusso · 25/06/2010 18:59

YABU, I would expect my DD (just turned 8) to look for it herself, or ask for help from the TA if she needed it. Not really the teacher's priority.

Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 19:00

So I guess you all think that I'd be unreasonable to withhold the school trip money and use it to buy a replacement jumper?

OP posts:
honeymom · 25/06/2010 19:00

hmmm i've has tons of lost jumpers suck it up go to asda and get 1 for £3 the lost property box at my kids school is always over flowing and they bin what ever is left at the end of each term

YABU

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:00

yes at the end of the school day once the children have been chucked out of the classroom to their parents we only need to ask and we are allowed to go and help them check their peg/anywhere else.

Once the children are out then it's no different to going in for an open evening, or even last week when there were over 300 people crammed into the school for the school fair - it rained - urgh so they had to move inside), or when they hold a book fair after school in the hall.

Lulumaam · 25/06/2010 19:01

my DCs school has a lost property localted near one of the doors, you can go in and look before or after school.

they also have a lost property amnesty a couple of times a year, when all the stuff is put in the pavilion and you can hunt through it

i do understand your irritation, DD lost a named cardi, brand new, which was £18. no sign of it in lost property.

Original poster
Claire70 · 25/06/2010 19:14

Unfortunately as Asda replacement will not do. It has to come from the school supplier with the school badge. My other option is to use the money to buy one from asda and have enough left over for my "voluntary contribution" to the school trip, but I don't want DS in trouble every day for having the wrong uniform for a long time to come. If he misses the school trip, then its just one day and it is over.

OP posts:
Oyama · 25/06/2010 19:24

y skidoodly Fri 25-Jun-10 18:49:49
Did the Queen knit his jumper or something?

My thoughts exactly.

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