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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

really annoyed about this

80 replies

Claire70 · 25/06/2010 18:36

DS lost his jumper at school on Tuesday. He was supposed to look for it on Wednesday and ask the teacher for help if he couldn't find it, but he "forgot". So on Thursday am, DH asked the TA at drop-off. Nothing happened (i.e. the teacher did not ask the children to check their jumpers or ask their parents to check at home). So I asked again at pick-up on Thursday afternoon. This time the TA said she would leave a note on the teacher's desk. Then today, Friday nothing happened again.
I am annoyed with DS for losing it and not even trying to find it, but he is just 7, so I know it is normal. However I am really annoyed with the teacher because I know she feels it is beneath her to help with these kind of things.

The jumper costs the same as the upcoming school trip and I am very tempted to let the HT know that I will be giving my school trip contrib to the school supplier instead.

OP posts:
toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:24

"but I don't want DS in trouble every day for having the wrong uniform for a long time to come."

so he only has one jumper???

FabIsGettingFit · 25/06/2010 19:27

No lost property and not allowed in school?

LadyBiscuit · 25/06/2010 19:27

Yes you would be unreasonable to withhold the money - your DS lost the jumper, not the school. It is not the teacher's job to make sure all the children have the right clothes. Nothing to do with being beneath her - just that most teachers I know work 10 hour days and so don't really have time to be sending out notes when children are careless

Claire70 · 25/06/2010 19:28

I cannot afford to keep replacing things. The school - normal state primary - likes the children in uniform from the designated supplier. It costs more. So I stump up.
They make a procedure about what to do when something gets lost - good use of her time or not, it involves the teacher doing something. She doesn't do it. So a new jumper is needed. Maybe the price is the nothing to most people but right now it makes a difference to me. So AIBU to use the school trip money?

OP posts:
unfitmother · 25/06/2010 19:29

Yes

Poshwellies · 25/06/2010 19:30

I snorted at 'Did the Queen knit his jumper or something?'

No lost property?

Where do all the found jumpers,books,socks,daps,pokemon go to then?

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:30

yes you are being unreasonable to use the trip money.

If that was the only jumper he had I'm sure the school aren't going to tell him off if you explain that he's lost his one and only jumper and you can't replace it yet.

Claire70 · 25/06/2010 19:31

LadyBiscuit - fine, so the teacher shouldn't be involved. but the head has made it her responsibility and so she needs to take it up with her boss. If I could go into the school and look, then I would but I am not allowed and there is no lost property box.

The head has designed what is clearly an unworkable policy and I am being asked to pay because it doesn't work. is that fair?

OP posts:
LadyBiscuit · 25/06/2010 19:32

Well if there is a procedure and the teacher isn't following it then why don't you speak to her again? And if she doesn't do it, why not speak to the head of year?

GypsyMoth · 25/06/2010 19:34

can't believe the lengths you expect the teacher to go to here

just buy another jumper....... Should he really need it in June........ And check he has it with him every time he comes out of school.

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:34

BTW - why did you have a look when you were in the school yesterday helping out???

more · 25/06/2010 19:37

don't take it out on your son. It sounds like you need to get on the school board and one of the first things you should get organised is a lost property box.
If it is a state school then there is absolutely no problem with the kids going to school with the right colour sweater minus the school badge. That is a private school rule not state school.

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:37

why DIDN'T that should read not why did.

mummytime · 25/06/2010 19:38

I would complain. Point out that the Sutton Trust sees schools which have expensive uniform which can't be bought at high street shops as discriminating against poorer families. Also point out that the trip contribution is a "voluntary donation" if it is in cirriculum time, they can't actually discriminate against your child just because you don't pay (they have to at least offer a comparable alternative).

My DCs school frequently sends out please by parent mail for uniform, and there is also a section on the newsletter each week about it. There is also a huge lost property bin which parents are welcome to rummage through. Yes parents can enter the school premises (your not alone with the kids so don't need a CRB check).

My DSs school has lost property on display at consultation days, as even teenagers don't always bother to look.

Of course if you follow my advice you will make yourself unpopular, but I do hate discriminatory uniform practices.

Claire70 · 25/06/2010 19:39

I sent an email to the HT this evening(its a small school so no head of year). In the email I asked for her help, but I realise that the jumper is probably gone for good after being missing for four days. So, I moved on to thinking of how to replace it (and then I posted the first post on this thread).

OP posts:
toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:39

Claire - why did you not have a look while you were in the school yesterday???

Claire70 · 25/06/2010 19:41

you've obv. been googling me. I was in another building yesterday and I thought it was all in hand and I didn't want to be seen to be hanging around in the corridor going through the other kids things.

OP posts:
unfitmother · 25/06/2010 19:41

You want the head to look for the jumper?

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:42

and I do rather think you're putting the horse before the cart suggesting that it'll be "gone for good" now it's been missing for four days.

If it's not at school it's probably languishing at the bottom of a laundary basket in another parents house, and will only be discovered once they get as far as the ironing.

toccatanfudge · 25/06/2010 19:43

no I haven't been googling you .

more · 25/06/2010 19:45

do you really iron jumpers toccatanfudge?

unfitmother · 25/06/2010 19:46

Doesn't everyone?

Drmelons · 25/06/2010 19:46

You sent an email to the head about a jumper!!!!!!!! would love to hear the staffroom gossip about you. You have earnt yourself one hell of a reutation there!

Claire70 · 25/06/2010 19:47

No I want the head to refer to her procedure abotu what to do regarding lost property and realising that it has not been followed, I want her to speak to the teacher and ask her to do what is required according to the head's procedure. Alternatively, or perhaps additionally she can write another procedure for lost property which is a little more practical and doesn't use the teacher's time. Creating a lost property box might be her answer.

OP posts:
Poshwellies · 25/06/2010 19:48

I would be quite chuffed if ds got to the age of 7 and had only lost ONE jumper.

YABU.

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