I can?t believe I?ve spent an hour reading this. Although I?ve seen other threads on other forums about this article, the level of debate is significantly higher here.
Before I had my baby, yes, if I thought about it, I?d have probably thought that feeding a, say 4 year old, was unusual, a little stridently hippyish, but not exactly creepy. I remember being pregnant in Thailand and hearing what must have been a five year old ask his mother very politely if he could ?nurse now?. I remember giggling about it to my husband at the time.
Roll on a couple of years and I?m that woman (my daughter?s not that old though) and have only recently cut back day feeds and public feeding. Not that I give a shit if someone thinks it?s weird, I get enough odd looks carrying a toddler in a sling, but that in our relationship the time has come for the constant feeding to be curbed. That?s just personal to us and if I do see an older toddler feeding (very very rarely) I like to see it. Warms the cockles.
I think the suggestion that breasts are sexual, and that?s why it is worrisome, is a bit of a red-herring. I actually think part of it is down to it being such a cultural meme of nurturing, that it reminds us of how we may think we have failed or how our parents may have treated us less than. When all is said and done, being scooped up into your mother?s arms and held quietly for minutes as she feeds you is about as visually nurturing as it gets (please, I am not suggesting here that FF don?t achieve this, I?m talking about the meme) and it?s a powerful, visual symbol of something, deep down, we are wistful, jealous, longing and maybe regretful over. It isn?t a neutral thing to do.
So when a baby isn?t a baby as such to see this is to be hit in the face almost, with this cultural baggage, and our own hopes and remembrances of our childhoods. When I see mothers treating their children a certain way I wasn?t treated, or when I remember how my father was when I was a child, and I see a father act the other way, it?s very thought provoking, and can rouse deep-seated feelings of regret and sorrow and jealousy. I think this could be playing a part in the ebf debate.
As a journalist myself, I can see that she?s only doing this as an irritant ? stoke lots of debate and sales. My issue with her is that she is misinformed (and she ought to know better) throughout the article and the tone is so deeply snide that
I can judge with the best of them. I hate this about my character. I always try to remind myself that I know nothing about a person?s personal circumstances so it?s impossible really TO judge effectively. I try to be kind, because it doesn?t feel to most mothers that there is enough common decency and kindness from others. This journalist is actually being unkind, just to make sales, and a name for herself. That?s a bit low.