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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to eat ready meals?

28 replies

Toohottotrot · 22/06/2010 14:48

Myself,dh and ds visit my in laws in devon apporximately once every six weeks for a long weekend so they get to see alot of ds. Thye won't come to us as they say it is a long drive and they are in their early sixties. MIL used to cook nice meals for us from scrath but all this stopped about 2 months ago when a large supermarket opened near to them that sells ridiculously cut price food especially ready meals. This means that we get microwaved meals served up still in the plastic trays every lunchtime and evening. My issue is that i am EBF ds and am tryig to eat nutritious food. DH thinks i am wildly overreacting but i think that it borders on rude that we make an effort to come down often and we get this tasteless crap. I gently suggested to MIL that she cook us a nice roast, but she said that ready meals are beter as they are cheap and she gets to spend more time doing her garden. (they are super well off btw so money isnot an issue)

OP posts:
diplodoris · 22/06/2010 14:53

YABU. Some people just don't like cooking.

wahwahwah · 22/06/2010 14:56

Well, they are not my cup of tea but you can't really ask your hosts to cook for you! It's only every few weeks so won't harm you. You could offer to cook the roast with her - if she is a good cook I am sure she will be happy to share her cookery tips with you.

foureleven · 22/06/2010 14:57

You should take your own food and tell them you'll treat them by cooking the meals.

Youre not BU to not want to eat that crap but if they dont care you cant expect them to cook for you... Its not a hotel.

SloanyPony · 22/06/2010 14:57

You buy and cook the food then. You can't dictate to someone what they feed you in their own home. If someone posted saying they had been told off by their MIL for serving a ready meal to her, they'd get only support! YABU.

bleedingheart · 22/06/2010 14:59

YABU to expect them to cook only what you want but YANBU to want to eat something else. She's not depressed is she or is the change entirely due to the opening of the supermarket? Does she want the visits? I just wonder if she'd rather be in her garden, maybe she finds the feeding and watering of regular guests a chore?

sarah293 · 22/06/2010 15:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

RudeEnglishLady · 22/06/2010 15:08

Make up a story about an allergy or medical issue that means you have to eat something else. Preferably something embarrassing about your bowels (my "problem" is irritable bowels / constipation and I hint darkly at blood sugar issues) or whatever so they don't want you to elaborate. Then go to supermarket and get baking potatoes and fruit and wholemeal bread for toast. Then you make it into quick, simple stuff to consume while they have their delicious offerings. Its got to be really simple healthy stuff though to masquerade as a health diet. This totally worked with my in-laws (they also love the processed and the overcooked) and no offense was caused. They actually feel a bit sorry for me and buy me plain yoghurt and oranges in anticipation of my visits.

Its a bit U to expect people to change their menu just for you but not U for you to arrange to eat an alternative. Good Luck!

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/06/2010 15:09

Perhaps after years of cooking roast dinners she has decided now that she can't be arsed?

I wouldn't want to eat ready meal shite either, but you can't make someone cook. Perhaps she is sick of you all rolling up expecting a nice roast.

Either take a picnic, or a lasagne, or take them out to eat when you get there. Or ivite them up to yours, take it in turns.

dinkystinky · 22/06/2010 15:10

Is this for real?

You'll be fine eating a ready meal or two while bfing - as will your baby. If you want nutritious home made meals, you could cook one for yourself while there if you really wanted to - a stirfry is pretty easy to do yourself - or suggest you all go out for dinner somewhere if your IL really doesnt want to cook.

GetOrfMoiLand · 22/06/2010 15:11

Ooh I like Rude's plan.

Yes make up some imaginary illness called McCluskie's syndrome or something, and say you cannot eat preservatives or something.

babyOcho · 22/06/2010 15:12

Why don't you and DP cook a few meals whilst you are there?

thumbwitch · 22/06/2010 15:16

YANBU to not want to eat ready meals, especially as they are high in salt.

However - your MIL might have good reason for moving over to ready meals. I don't want to alarm you as it might be nothing at all - but my mum stopped cooking anything but ready meals for about 3m prior to her going into hospital, from where she never emerged as it transpired she had terminal bowel cancer. The effort of cooking was too much for her but she never let on - she just cut down on what she saw as unnecessary effort.

You could offer to cook meals while you are there; whenever I stay with my Dad I always cook because I too like to have freshly made meals rather than frozen or tinned ready meals and he is not able to provide those for me. If your DH can cook then he could share the load with you. No you are not overreacting, your DH could try to be a bit more supportive of you but you do need to be proactive about it rather than anything else.

FortunateHamster · 22/06/2010 15:25

YABU.

Ready meals aren't the greatest, but they're not so bad for you to have once in a while.

When we have guests we sometimes use sauces etc that aren't from scratch (am heavily pregnant so can't be bothered right now) and I think I'd be put out if they turned their noses up.

Maybe it's rude to make the effort to go and expect them to shell out lots on food for you all? I'm not saying it definitely is, but you could take some food along with you and offer to cook?

SirBoobAlot · 22/06/2010 15:27

YANBU to not want to eat them particularly, but I think you were amazingly rude to speak to anyone like that, whatever the reason.

SloanyPony · 22/06/2010 15:30

If they are super well off though, I dont see why they can't get their butts down to Waitrose and get some kind of pre stuffed lovely joint of some meaty thing, and some of their lovely pre-prepped veg that just have to be roasted or steamed/microwaved, already sorted with a lovely knob of herby butter that will melt as they cook type thing. Still a ready meal essentially, but a bit healthier than the all-in-one-dish kind and way nicer to eat and still no dishes!

LetThereBeRock · 22/06/2010 15:33

Why don't you or your dh cook a roast while there if you want one?

MrsC2010 · 22/06/2010 15:36

YANBU to not want to eat them, I have yet to find one I like. BUT: YABU to have the attitude that you can tell them what to cook and be hard done by that they don't oblige. Why don't you take food down with you and cook for the weekends you're there?

pumperspumpkin · 22/06/2010 15:37

Sounds to me there is more than a simple "oh but it's easier" going on. No one who is used to eating proper food is going to switch to solely ready meals overnight - having them sometimes, sure, but not all the time. (And as said above, there's lots of shortcuts but still proper food out there - and the basics of a roast aren't that hard anyway, there's just pans to wash up and there's a house full of people to do that.) Is she ill? Is she actually trying to stop you coming?

gagamama · 22/06/2010 15:39

YABU to expect to turn up and be served beautiful home-cooked meals by someone who would evidently prefer to be doing something else. And YABU to reject the meals on the grounds that you're EBF - they're not great but they're not poison, and there's nothing stopping you supplementing them with fruit between meals.

YANBU for not particularly agreeing with her though. Ready meals are only usually really cheap and quick for a single person when the wastage from individual ingredients would be too much - plus microwaving 3 or 4 individual meals would take ages!

I definitely agree that you should suggest a meal out somewhere and offer help with cooking though. It doesn't sound like MIl loves the ready meals, just that she'd rather not have to cook.

twolittlemonkeys · 22/06/2010 15:43

I agree that there's probably something else up as nobody in their right mind would switch to ready meals when home-cooked food tastes so much better. Take some groceries with you and just say you decided you'd treat them to a meal so they can relax and spend more time with their grandson.

EmmaBemma · 22/06/2010 15:45

You should offer to cook one or two evening meals while you're there, if ready meals bother you so much. As for your other nutritional requirements, take a bunch of bananas or something.

toccatanfudge · 22/06/2010 15:46

OMG I can't believe you had the audacity to "gently" (or otherwise) suggest to your host that she cooked you a nice roast !

iwantavuvezela · 22/06/2010 15:47

perhaps this is all still new to them and will wear off soon. (the lure of the ready meals will wan very soon) I agree with the others, who would want to eat heat up meals twice a day ....

Blu · 22/06/2010 15:49

I think eating ready-meals for a w/e once every 6 weeks is not a threat to your health / bf.

Who instigates these visits? Do they invite you, or do you say you will go? Maybe they find it a bit much, having you for a long weekend quite often?

Say you'll just have cheese and an apple for lunch. Or suggest taking them out.

OTTMummA · 22/06/2010 18:56

YABU to expect/request an elderly lady who has probably been cooking meals from scratch every night of the week for the last 40+ yrs to make you all a lovely roast dinner!

My nan god bless her soul, had 5 children, practically raised them herself, cooked every night from 1960-1999 from scratch, including every xmas family dinner for 20+ people, every easter, catered for the receptions for all the family weddings, and had at least 2 bbqs a yr.
ALL BY HERSELF.

I wouldn't even know how to grow the balls to ask her to cook me a fresh meal because she felt like serving me something easier for her to make that i didn't like.
( although my nan gets us M&S or something cold and quickly made very tasty still ).

The EBF is a mere excuse you have factored in, its silly, a ready meal won't make your milk unutritious.
If your really concerned make your own food, or better yet offer to make her a ' from sratch ' dinner, i bet it will be the first shes had in a decade made by someone else!