to think that the reasons for my elective c-section are private?

[withorwithoutyou]

I want genuine opinions so risking AIBU but please don't see this as an excuse to shout at me as I'm really only wondering!!!

I'm having an elective c-section next month. I won't go into the reasons why, except to say that I have given birth vaginally before very badly!

Anyway, it seems that everybody who knows about my section wants to know why I'm having one. It seems to me that that's a pretty nosey question to ask - the answer is pretty private to me, involving things going on in my body, to my genitals etc etc.

I don't tell everyone I meet I'm having a c-s, but for example my Mum has told my Auntie and now all the women in the family are phoning me to ask why. One even wanted to know if I had any damage from my previous birth. Um, isn't that my private business??

It's starting to really get me down because the only reason I can think they're asking is because they want to decide for themselves whether I'm having one for reasons which they sound acceptable. But I accept I'm probably being over sensitive, I just don't want to talk about my gynaecological history with people and think it's rude they're asking.

What do you think?

Arse. Meant to namechange for this!

you can always ask for it to be delted and repost with a namechage...

Ive had 3 csections....just say with a smile 'im too posh to push' that will piss them right off!!!

i think you're being oversensitive. They're probably concerned about you, a lot of the time ELCSs are ordered by obstetricians as they're worried about mother's and/or baby's well-being.

I doubt anybody expects you to go into great "private area" details, I think the question might mean something like "are you feeling ok now"?

Why don't you just say "health reasons", or "doctors orders" and leave it at that? That's what I did when I was in your position and it worked

nickschick

nickchick, that's what I said.... not much querying after that

Tell them its private and you don't wish to discuss it, end of. YANBU, its nothing to do with anyone else and you should tell your mum to keep quiet.

Gobsmacked, that's a good point, hadn't thought of it as being a way of showing concern. Just find it really intrusive.

Nickschicks - that is what I say!

We are all posh .

I also comment on my pelvic floor and say I dont get pissypants when I sneeze -thats what pushing does to you.....

It's really none of anyone's business other than you, your DP/H, and consultant.

I'd just say, 'childbirth is so over rated...' or something flippant. Or if you don't want to get into a discussion, say, 'I've discussed it with the consultant...'

YANBU but they only mean well and don't want a graphic answer, just say because of traumatic / difficult first birth. that could means many things, eg damage to bits, fetal distress, etc etc.

Do you mean hcp or family and friends?

If the latter then yanbu.

I had the same thing. In the end a woman that I barely knew at a playgroup said to me, 'Too posh to push are you?' and so I was so sick of hearing that joke that I looked her in the eye and said (deadpan) 'Yes'. That ended that conversation. After that, if anyone mentioned it I just replied, 'I am too posh to push' with a totally straight face. They never knew if I was joking or not so it usually ended the conversation!

Oh, just realised that several others have said the same thing...Well that's taken the wind out of MY sails!

Geek yes family and friends, don't mind hcp asking!

YANBU to feel intruded on.

But doubt people are judging. More just their way of making sure you are ok. I think you may be a tad over sensitive, but it is probably nerves. By the time your DC is delivered, you wont give a monkeys

p.s. have had 2 elec cs, you'll be fine!

YANBU to feel intruded on.

But doubt people are judging. More just their way of making sure you are ok. I think you may be a tad over sensitive, but it is probably nerves. By the time your DC is delivered, you wont give a monkeys

p.s. have had 2 elec cs, you'll be fine!

Mumnwlondon yeah you're right. Don't really know why they need telling again about traumatic first birth though as they were told that when it happened (my mum again!)

Why don't you just say that it's a long story but the docs told you that you HAVE to have a C section and leave it at that.

And silence your mum!

I'd tell them, 'That's a very personal question to ask and my reasons for needing one are very personal, too.'

You could always try saying - 'DH is insisting because he doesn't want to have to wait for sex until I'm healed this time'.

YANBU. I had ELCS with my only DC.

I am happy enough to talk about why with, for example, my family, but if people (eg work colleagues I'm not close to) are asking from what I see as nosiness, I do just say 'too posh to push'. That tends to put an end to the conversation

I had to have an elective c-section. I don't know - sometimes I think there are some women who just love medical details, especially when it comes to having a baby. They're not bothered about they're own privacy/dignity when they talk about they're birthing experience and just assume you to have the same openness.
But for some of them, maybe what they really mean is "is everthing okay" sort of thing.

Thanks all,

I'm going to put it down to concern from now on!

But liking expats that's a very personal question answer.

Hello withorwithoutyou!

I had the woman on the checkout in Waitrose ask me why I was having one, when I vaguely said I'd had a couple of difficult births, she told me all the details of her birth to her dd, and some fairly gruesome details of her dd's birth to dgs.

I think if anyone asks in future I will just say that the baby is breech.