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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

member bashing is it reallly necessary ?

105 replies

justsue · 18/06/2010 01:41

I have only posted a couple of times and have either got the responses I wanted or taken a "bashing", walked away licked my wounds and got over it.

My question is: What about the vunerable posters that literally take your advice etc for gospel. Does it eat at your conscience when you give your sarcastic comments or is this site just to vent anger/frustration/mocking/from the heart/ views at others.

Who decides if a poster is a "troll", I mean do u decide straight away that the post is off the wall and all shout TROLL. She/he could actually be genuine and have a real problem that she does not want to talk to her friends in real life as mad as it seems.

I read so many posts on here and my heart goes out to so many and then I read the sarcastic comments and read the OP's posts back and think "ffs give them a break".

It certainly seems like a elite group and all I can say is give posters a chance

OP posts:
toccatanfudge · 18/06/2010 01:48

now don't take this the wrong way or anything - but you do seem to start one of these types of threads once every couple of months........and they all turn out the same way.

Original poster
justsue · 18/06/2010 01:54

oK, what type of thread do you think I start. Not being funny at all. Yes I said in my post that I have started a thread and took it on board and walked away. I come on this site most nights and read posts. Most days I dont log in because I find the responses either sarcastic, helpful etc. Tonight I truly was thinking "Why attack someone who is obviously asking for help". So you have answered my question really I shall just read and not post simple as that

OP posts:
toccatanfudge · 18/06/2010 02:02

no - I mean you frequently start THIS type of thread, questioning how/why things are the way that you perceive them to be.

Always with the same slant, elite groups, people being horrible, people shouting troll, etc etc etc.

About how you never log in because there's always loads of bitching (yet you keep coming back ), that all mumsnet seems to be is about hunting trolls,

oh I don't know maybe you haven't posted that many - but I do seem to recognise your name as Frequently posting about this very issue.

Perhaps you could start tring to look for the many positives in the site instead of focussing on what reall is a tiny amount of negative stuff.

And that negative stuff goes on just about any forum you'll join online.

MN is full of good stuff, stop focussing on the small amount of bad and then you may actually enjoy it a little more

toccatanfudge · 18/06/2010 02:05

I'd recommend stepping outside of AIBU For a starters......

that disclaimer at the top isn't there for nothing you know

Original poster
justsue · 18/06/2010 02:15

So why can i not question?, and no I do not frequently post to be honest Like I said I read posts a lot but do not log in. Yes I read a lot of the positive and walk away thinking "ah bless Im so pleased that turned out ok", but Like I said there are some posts that turn out to be a witch hunt that maybe the poster is actually telling the truth however off the wall it is. Lets face it some of us have had different lives to others and we all deal with our own stuff.

Like you say, every couple of months I like to post a opinion simple as that

Give me a break lol

OP posts:
Original poster
justsue · 18/06/2010 02:18

Why would you recommend me stepping out of AIBU though, I have posted to hear opinions

OP posts:
toccatanfudge · 18/06/2010 02:23

because you seem rather obsessed with the idea that this is what the WHOLE of MN is like. You seem to only be able to focus on the tiny bit of crap that goes on, instead of looking at all the positive.

Stepping outside of AIBU will show you a whole heap of other stuff about MN that isn't as you seem to think it is

Original poster
justsue · 18/06/2010 02:25

ok , i shall take your advice on board and delte this post. It was a general question thanks for your advice

x

OP posts:
zazen · 18/06/2010 02:28

I hardly even venture into AIBU - it's too fierce for me! There are opinions in other topics, but without the attitoood.

Well done on starting a thread as well!

Find 'your natural MN home topic' should be a quick questionnaire when you log on first shouldn't it?!!
Good luck!

toccatanfudge · 18/06/2010 02:29

I didn't say you should get it deleted - just questioned why you were asking the same thing again

Original poster
justsue · 18/06/2010 02:33

Hey Zazen, thank you lol, well I was going to delete the post but now will not for two reasons.

1: Sod It will take the hit
2: Could not find out how to delete it lol

Thanks for the support I am now offically not a nutter that posts every few months with issues

x

"i am entitled to my opinion even If i REPEAT IT EVERY FEW MONTHS, IF YOU DONT LIKE IT MOVE ON SIMPLE AS THAT"

OP posts:
Original poster
justsue · 18/06/2010 02:39

Tocc in the nicest possible way, I am entitled to post on here, I may ask the same question even if it is in a different format SO WHAT it is in a light hearted way not offensive in any form.

No offence meant and no offence hopefully taken

x

OP posts:
jasper · 18/06/2010 03:02

Justsue, I agree.
There are some nasty people on here- watch this space - they will be along in a minute to attack me and call me a coward for not naming names

DetectivePotato · 18/06/2010 09:19

I agree with you. I sometimes post on things that bother me that seem petty and trivial to others and get told to grow up etc which I think is extremely rude.

corlan · 18/06/2010 09:24

Justsue, are you sure you're not related to Finbar Saunders (of the double entendres)? I was expecting a completely different subject for this thread when I read the title. (Don't know if I'm disappointed or relieved to be honest)

Wordsonascreen · 18/06/2010 09:26

I think this thread should be moved to dadsnet.
[prim]

MarthaQuest · 18/06/2010 09:27

AIBU to be disappointed that this member bashing thread isn't about some weirdo publicly masturbating?

flootshoot · 18/06/2010 09:27

me too corlan. snigger. justsue, why don't you try posting in chat? Not wuite so heated over there.

Again · 18/06/2010 09:28

Yes, I posted a thread about this recently too. It seems that because there isn't face-to-face contact people feel they can take out their frustration on other members. Some people are going through a really tough time and even if they are being unreasonable, there may be reasons underneath why they feel so hurt - depression, or just going through a vulernable time and because we don't know them, really I think we should tred carefully.

kveta · 18/06/2010 09:29

I thought this was going to be a thread about wanking. not sure whether to be pleased or saddened that it isn't.

MiladyDeScorchio · 18/06/2010 09:31

at Finbarr Saunders

GeekOfTheWeek · 18/06/2010 09:34

Oh god i thought it was about wanking too.

Only reason i opened it

FakePlasticTrees · 18/06/2010 09:38

Oh I am so glad others thought it was about wanking too, I was beginning to worry I had an unusually mucky mind...

In answer to your question, if you ask a question in AIBU you risk being told in a very clear way that you are. If you dont like the prospect, don't ask the question. Or ask it somewhere else. there is rarely anything in AIBU that couldn't go somewhere else on this site where people aren't encouraged to be so frank with their views.

Greensleeves · 18/06/2010 09:39

damn I thought this was going to be about erotic violence

but not a cheesegrater in sight

Mumcentreplus · 18/06/2010 09:40

kveta ..