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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think he should offer to feed a pregnant lady?

154 replies

1pregheadpumpkin · 17/06/2010 19:38

DP is at work and im stuck in his dad's house and im really hungry as i last ate at midday. im ravenous and cant really go through his fridge for food as im a guest. but it doesnt look as if dinner is going to be cooked and i dont want to ask.

as im carrying his grandchild he should feed me yes?

OP posts:
ThatVikRinA22 · 17/06/2010 23:36

maylee, i rest my case. gnite all.

scottishmummy · 17/06/2010 23:38

i refer you to previous posts,feel free to cut & paste or quote

Ryuk · 17/06/2010 23:41

Maylee, that's the Daily Mail, though. They do tend towards the bitchy side themselves.

ThatVikRinA22 · 17/06/2010 23:41

seems some posts were deleted by mumsnet. i think that must have constituted a personal attack? or are HQ wrong as well?

ill ask again. what purpose did it serve to attack a poster, who, from the opening post was clearly not assertive and who had done nothing to incite this type of response? ive seen people post far far worse and not get such a pasting.

Maylee · 17/06/2010 23:42

SM - was just trying to be helpful because you said you were not aware of the "MN reputation". Neither was I but a simple google search turned up this article and some other threads on other sites which made the same kind of points.

I'll readily admit that the DM is rarely a source for information but clearly it has contributed (or reported on?) the MN reputation.

Just thought you might like to see it as you didn't know what Vicar was talking about.

Of course the DM is wrong. It does, after al, describe some MN users as "smug"

scottishmummy · 17/06/2010 23:43

yes post deleted.and............

ThatVikRinA22 · 17/06/2010 23:44

and of course no one is ever smug on here. or a bitch.

ThatVikRinA22 · 17/06/2010 23:44

are we having a paxman moment? shall i ask it again? will that be the fifth time or the sixth?

scottishmummy · 17/06/2010 23:46

vicar you are somewhat preoccupied.id post same again to same type situation.

HairExtensions · 17/06/2010 23:47

Hi OP,

Congratulations on your baby!

What things do you have or still need for your baby?

Your baby is a girl?

The reason I ask is that I am moving in a few weeks time, I have to have a massive clearout of all my baby things which I had intended to keep but it's just not feasible .

I have 3 DDs.

Let me know if it would be any help at all

slhilly · 17/06/2010 23:50

[sigh]

ok, your previous posts have not answered any of these questions directly. nor even obliquely, except for q1 and q4. so my guess is:
q1 -- you think you've simply disagreed, not attacked, the OP.
q2 -- who knows what you think would count as an attack if not a statement such as this.
q3 retrospective crowing I take to mean "being smug about the OP's situation justifying a softer approach than you and others originally displayed". seems a bizarre thing to accuse me of. I personally don't think that the OP's context matters a damn the rules are "don't attack", not "don't attack people whose personal situations are tough".
q4 -- you don't see how some of what you've posted falls on the wrong side of the distinction. seems to me that this is not a matter of agreement/disagreement so much as common-sense interpretation of straightforward English. I do think it's a shame that you take the view you take, as it seems to me to be totally at odds with the intended spirit of this board and of mumsnet, as well as completely unconducive to a positive, but spirited, debate.

BTW, you've mentioned the fact that I copied-and-pasted quotes from you in no less than three separate comments of your own. I infer from that that you think I've done something very naughty, although I'm not sure what it's supposed to be.

slhilly · 17/06/2010 23:52

HairExtensions, thank you for being both nobler and more helpful than me

ThatVikRinA22 · 17/06/2010 23:53

not preoccupied. curious about what kind of person attacks an 18 year old who clearly isnt assertive and is in a difficult situation. That is one question i think you have answered, not sure about the other one, which was why attack her and to what aim. which i had asked several times.

Smilehighclub · 17/06/2010 23:58

that's nice of you Hairextensions

op theres loads of help available out there (and on here)

my dp works to prevent homelessness and could probably get some contact numbrs for you if useful? might be very handy to know what your options are housing and benefit wise no?

Leave sm alone she's a hoot

bibbitybobbityhat · 17/06/2010 23:59

Aren't you being a little bit ott towards ScottishMummy? She stuck around for the duration of the thread and engaged fully with pumpkin. From the op it is NOT possible to see that this is an 18 year old in difficulties.

ThatVikRinA22 · 18/06/2010 00:04

yeah, a real hoot. (is that a new euphemism?)

op - best of luck, hope things pick up. gnite.

Smilehighclub · 18/06/2010 00:06

I don;t find Scottishmummy offensive at all. I think she is brilliantly straightforward but not sneery or bitchy.

slhilly · 18/06/2010 00:16

Smilehighclub, FWIW, I don't find her offensive either. And bibbitybobbityhat, I recognise that she stuck around for the duration of the thread and engaged fully wiht pumpkin. But I complained only about specific things that she and others had said that constituted attacks (not a synonym for offensive) on the OP, and thus breaking the (only) AIBU board rule, and that's been the only focus of my posts.

I've probably over-engaged on the issue, but that's because I feel strongly that attacks should be called out for what they are and discouraged.

ThatVikRinA22 · 18/06/2010 00:20

ok. just before i really do go to bed. my comments are not just aimed at SM. they are aimed at all the smug bitches posters who took a pop.

am just saying what it looks like. and i did ask SM a question several times over which got conveniently ignored.

i was once a 15 year old homeless girl who wouldnt say boo to a goose due to the abuse i suffered at home, i met my DH at 16. married at 19. baby at 19. i was not assertive and if i had encountered the crap on this thread as the women i was then it would have hurt, and i dont think the op deserved that shite. some posts were deleted which means they were personal attacks. what did she do wrong? what did she do to incur that? the answer is nothing. and some of the attacks on her were uncalled for pack mentality and a bit pathetic. what did this poster do to deserve a pasting?

hmc · 18/06/2010 00:56

Vicar and Shilly, i completely and emphatically agree with you

cremedelacreme · 18/06/2010 01:01

And I wholeheartedly agree with hmc.

justsue · 18/06/2010 01:24

as normal with this site a slanging match......... no change there then

HairExtensions · 18/06/2010 15:52

Just bumping so OP see's my previous post

Original poster
1pregheadpumpkin · 18/06/2010 16:47

hi hairextentions! that's a really lovley offer!

yeah baby is a girl! im missing a cot and pram, and a car seat but is it true that ought to be bought new??

all smaller, affordable things i have already got its just the things that required savings!

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 18/06/2010 19:00

ahh i just asked where you were as I also have baby stuff to get rid of and would love it to go to a new home. sadly I live nowhere near you so can't offer anything worthwhile I don't think

plus i have 3 boys so can't even offer clothes lol