to think he should offer to feed a pregnant lady?

[1pregheadpumpkin]

DP is at work and im stuck in his dad's house and im really hungry as i last ate at midday. im ravenous and cant really go through his fridge for food as im a guest. but it doesnt look as if dinner is going to be cooked and i dont want to ask.

as im carrying his grandchild he should feed me yes?

oh morloth i wish i knew where i was going to live! DPs got RAF interview next friday and the plan was to stay at home but home life is quickly deteriorating.

i know i'll be called irrispnsible for this admission, but i really am unsure.

scottish mummy. parents marriage appears to be falling apart and the atmosphere is less than inviting. poor mum wont open up about it and is really struggling to hold things together. even giving them time on their own seems to yeild no results.

reading thread,but you reveal it all bit by bit.and tbh well it reads a bitty weird have to say

and it is odd set of circumstances you describe

why do you have inadequate money
why no bread etc in house.cant boyfriend get some if planned stay for few days
you sat on pc
fil watch footy
boyfriend leaves you on your todd at dad house

what will you do for money/company when baby arrive?

You need to get up and get sorted - you sound very passive. That is not going to work for your baby.

I'm going against the grain and saying I can sympathise! I met DH when I was 16 and I would much rather have been at his parents' house while he was at work than at my own parents' house. But I also felt like I was putting on his parents by being there so didn't want to ask for things. I used to hide in his bedroom or go for walks

But, 10+ years later I realise how silly that was and that his parents really wouldn't have minded me going to make a drink or offering to make tea etc.

Do it once and it'll get easier I promise!

look, yoiu're going to have a baby soon, so you 're going to have to learn to speak up for what you want/need

if you're too scared to ask this "nice chap" for some food, or see if there is some in the house then how on earth are you going to get your child what they deserve in life?

I would suggest that you TALK to his dad and get to know him better. if he went out to sunbathe, you could have gone out too and talked to him.
I am a naturally timid/shy person too, but there are times when you just HAVE to bite the bullet and do things that make you feel uncomfortable

your partner and yourself both sound like you need to sort yourselves out to be honest

who invites someone over and doesn't make sure they have enough food in? your partner ought to be making sure there is enough in the house for you all to eat decent meals- even if onyl while you are staying.
OR, you need to arrange to go shopping when you get there and pick up enough for you all to eat

well i have a job but its part time at a restaurant and they cut my hours so i have one 4 hour shift a week. im trying to save up what i can for the baby.

no bread, i dunno really, and i did sort of land myself on him at last minute. DP invited me round today so not much planning went into it.

im sat here cause i want to be and DPs dad is watching footy because i assume he wants to?

DP has to go to work and i knew this before i came. im leaving him alone to go to work tomorrow so its the same really.

and im very unsure about the future. its all such a mess.

That sounds a bit tough, your parents situation.

I have to agree with scottishmummy, you know the gradual drip feed of information is a bit confusing, your initial post came over quite stroppy and unreasonable TBH. But then as it turns out your have quite a bit on your plate.

Good luck to your DP for Friday.

Have you talked though your finances etc with anyone? Do you know what your are entitled to?

Is DP's Dad single? Have you guys asked him about living there when the baby comes?

He probably doesn't realise that you are expecting him to look after you. I have to say if my son's pregnant 18yo girlfriend was in the house I would kind of expect her to view it as her house and sort herself out.

well stop being unsure and expecting other people to sort it out and go and do it yourself!

i know it's hard, realy I do. but the only people in charge of your futures are you! your life is what you make it (it took me a long time to realise that)

your hours have been cut? if you're physically fit to work then get another job
yes, that will be hard if you're pregnant, but if you need the money and you don't have any other reason not to work (ie, crippling spd etc etc) then it's got to be done

go and talk to the CAB and see what you are entitled to in terms of housing and benefits

Well they kind of are Tombliboob if the OP had to be there or was an invited guest it would be a bit different.

But as she doesn't have to be there, but wants to be and invited herself (which I sure is fine) then it really is up to her to get herself something to eat.

ok,get a benefits check for pg entitlements. sit down with dp make a plan
you need adequate money and reassurances

overall you need to prioritise you and baby
shame you have lot going on but.Prioritise baby and you before anyone else.

if you are quietly unobtrusive then you will be overlooked

look here for some info about maternity allowance

Tomliboob, have you read the whole thread?

ask HV about meeting other young mums, and whats avail for you

oh yes, i went a few months ago, as soon as i knew about the baby. so far i've appled for housing but apparently its very unlikely we'll be housed before christmas and sadly baby is due in september so thats not much help.

i cant get statuary maternity pay because i earn too little per week and i cannot get maternity allowance because i cant get income support due to still living with parents. unfortunately income support is the one you need to get pretty much any other benefit.

DPs interview is his second and hopefully with his A-Levels and all the prep he's done, he will stand quite a good chance, then at least money will be easier because our wages at the moment dont stretch very far.

we're putting away as much as we can to save up for house and baby stuff and a deposit for a flat but he needs this job to pay for rent and everything else to subsidise my paltry earnings.

parents said i could stay with them for a while longer but this too looks unlikely given their issues.

12 weeks seems like a very short time and im very worried.

of course, its all my own doing.

scottishmummy speaks sense. Your baby needs you to be the squeaky wheel here.

you know you don't need too much for a baby, and if you're happy to have second hand i'd say you really need only spend a minimal amount

so i would plough any earnings into a savings account either for rent or deposit on a house.

renting is ok too you know though, if you can't scrape a deposit together yet. at least if you're renting you aren't liable for any repairs on the house or anything like that. we rented for quite a while before buying and it wasn't a problem. I know some people feel like it's money down the drain, but you do what you need to get a roof over your head don't you?

there must be something you can do to earn some extra money?

Stop worrying and start doing.

Hey, don't be to hard on yourself!

Do not buy anything for your baby new, go to NCT sales, charity shops, join your local free cycle group. I got my cot, monitors, moses basket, baby bath, gosh lots actually from free cycle. Just bought new mattresses for the cot and moses basket.

People will be very generous. Baby doesn't need much at all. Will you breast feed?- you will save a bundle if you do!

So where will you go if your parents say you have to leave? They can't be serious, can they?

have been looking for employment elsewhere, not a great deal going on around here job wise, none im qualified for anyway! lots of teaching jobs.

tempted by lure of avon...

I sympathise with you OP. I'm very confident and assertive but wouldn't dream of asking for food in the home of someone I barely know.

And it must be tough not having much money, sorry to hear that.

I hope you get the home and financial situation sorted before your baby arrives. Looks like some of the other posters have given some good advice and links to support websites, so please do try and take the iniative (the fact that your DP left you there with no food in the house and little money concerns me a bit TBH).

Also sorry that others gave you a hard time....not everyone can relate to a young mum with little money.......

Good luck

whereabouts in the country are you?

morloth you are not helping. i have been doing!

thatsnotmymonkey i've hoarded lots of borrowed things so far, my savings account is there for the things i do need to buy new, like the matresses, and for saving up some rent money.

definitely breast feeding! thats what they're there for! and it saves lots of time and money. i found a brand name sterliliser with two bottles for if we're out and cant breastfeed but it was half price and only 12 pounds so i snapped that up. will borrow a pump though, for something i wont use often its very expensive to buy!

im sure mum's sounding off, she's excited about her granddaughter really, just all this upset at home is making her less than forthcoming. DP and i may move in with his mum because she has the room and has made the offer, and it will only be a stepping stone until Dp gets his career on track and i can go back to work

Maybe your DP and you could sit down with both sets of parents and discuss the situation and what support they can offer.

Can you move in with your DP and his Dad? Or can you both move in with his DM as you say you get on better with her?

An alternative would be leaving your parents home and staying temporarily with a friend/relative and getting prioritised for housing that way.

Oh OP I feel so so sorry for you lovie, I hope your DP gets the job, how much support do you have from your parents/your DPs?