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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to cry out cos my husband is such a c**k and just been rude and nasty to me, :-(

70 replies

XboxWidow30 · 14/06/2010 20:07

We just had a huge discussion. Resulting in him calling me pathetic, useless, I don't do anything, all his friends laugh at him because of me, I have had a free ride and an easy life cos of him, oh but get this;

He says he loves me!!!

OP posts:

LoveMyGirls · 14/06/2010 20:10

He won't miss you when you kick him out/ leave him then will he? Honestly I wouldn't stay and listen to that shit! What a dickhead! No wonder you're upset!

tightwad · 14/06/2010 20:10

what does he mean?

he does sound like a cock head

FabIsGettingFit · 14/06/2010 20:11

You had this the other day too.

You need to decide if you want to carry on living like this.

differentID · 14/06/2010 20:11

Has he always been this nasty? it's borderline abusive, imo

biddyofsuburbia · 14/06/2010 20:11

C**K. Yanbu. but then sometimes I say nasty things to my DH in the heat of the moment (although maybe not as strong as that) that I don't mean, but just to press his buttons. and I love him. Doesn't make it right though. Poor you - having a large swig of my wine on your behalf.

mumblechum · 14/06/2010 20:12

I wouldn't call that a huge discussion, I'd call it a character assassination.

Why did he marry you if you're pathetic and useless???

Lulumaam · 14/06/2010 20:12

if that is his idea of love, then he is seriously messed up

i take it by your user name, he spends a lot of time gaming?

and not really paying much attention to the real people around him

do you have children?

why would you want to be with a man who says this stuff> that his friends laugh about you?

he is vile, trying to make you feel so insecure and worn down, you would not dare leave him and find a man who treats you as an equal

Lulumaam · 14/06/2010 20:12

if that is his idea of love, then he is seriously messed up

i take it by your user name, he spends a lot of time gaming?

and not really paying much attention to the real people around him

do you have children?

why would you want to be with a man who says this stuff> that his friends laugh about you?

he is vile, trying to make you feel so insecure and worn down, you would not dare leave him and find a man who treats you as an equal

Alambil · 14/06/2010 20:13

Well then he won't mind letting you get on with the rest of your life in a way you deserve. Which just so happens to be without him, the pig.

McSnail · 14/06/2010 20:13

Pathetic and useless?

How unkind. Why would he say that if he loved you? What a cock-muncher.

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 14/06/2010 20:13

Well, it all STILL comes down to the fact that I don't keep the house spotlessly tidy for him and he doesn't like it. Oh, and I don;t show him any affection. I tried talking to him earlier cos he was moody with me and it ended up in a huge slanging match on his part.

Oh also, its normal for him to have weekends away with his mates and go out whenever he wants without being questioned by me cos he still has a life and he thinks I moan every time he goes out.

OP posts:

MrsChemist · 14/06/2010 20:13

What a twat! Tell him to fuck off if he thinks that way.

FabIsGettingFit · 14/06/2010 20:14

He isn't on the computer as much now lulu. The poster flipped the other day and put everything on the driveway. It just isn't healthy living like this.

Alambil · 14/06/2010 20:15

Why should you show affection to someone who treats you like his maid and talks to you like that?

he really has some sense of entitlement, doesn't he!!

I think HE needs to be on the drive, not the pc!

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 14/06/2010 20:15

He games alot on his PC.

We have 4 children.

Yes Lulumaam, I am insecure and worn down and not helped by him being so abusive and then going 'oh but I love you and don;t want you to leave'.

OP posts:

zerominuszero · 14/06/2010 20:15

He expects you to clean the house for him....? If me and my other half didn't split the housework 50/50 then there would be serious hell to pay.

twolittlemonkeys · 14/06/2010 20:18

yanbu I feel for you

Alambil · 14/06/2010 20:18

of COURSE he doesn't want you to leave - who else would feed him and wash his clothes?

do you want to live like this? there are other options. And no, he's not a good dad. No, the kids won't hate you if you leave him and no, they won't "miss out" on having a daddy.

biddyofsuburbia · 14/06/2010 20:19

Didn't know the history. It doesn't sound good or healthy or in anyway pleasant for you. Do you want to stay with him?

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 14/06/2010 20:21

Oh and he said all he did because its true, not a heat of the moment thing at all.

No, I whole heartedly agree that the house isn't spotless but its not a dive either! I would love it to look spotless but with nobody helping to keep it that way its difficult.

He pointed out that all I had done today was put a load of washing on.

Day consisted of; 8.30am school run, home, pack son's bag for week away with school, take him to school and spend nearly an hour waiting to wave him off, go and get car washed. Hubby dropped me and 2 youngest children home and had half an hour until preschool run. Took daughter to preschool, went from there to Post Office, got home at 1pm, youngest was tired but wouldn't settle for sleep and wasn't happy to be put on floor and play like he usually does so spent time with him and then it was time to go and pick up from school at 3pm.

So, could I have done more housework in that day? Tell me if I could have done??

OP posts:

Alambil · 14/06/2010 20:22

you have two choices. Go away for a couple of weeks and leave him to run the house, alone.

Or leave him because whatever you do will never be enough... there will always be SOMEthing wrong

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 14/06/2010 20:22

zerominuszero, I am a stay at home mum so he thinks because he is out at work all day then my job is to do all of the housework. He puts the bins out on a Tuesday night and loads the dishwasher on occasions.

OP posts:

Gigantaur · 14/06/2010 20:27

xbox you have had a great number of these threads.

whilst i understand that we all need to vent on occasion, you seem to be venting far more often than most.

I think you should do a search of your name and re read some of your old threads. then consider whether you really are as happy with him as you may believe.

I think you need to have a frank conversation with him about the way he speaks to you and how you wish to be treated.

Original poster

XboxWidow30 · 14/06/2010 20:29

Gigantaur, I know its got worse recently. However, he say it is me.

I try having a conversation with him and it ends like it has tonight. So I a at my wits end as to what to do. He has gone out tonight and one of his leaving comments is that I need to change and sort myself out.

OP posts:

Alambil · 14/06/2010 20:31

it will never be his problem though, will it?

his woman is there to serve him and gets a gob full when she dares to express an opinion or idea that the great I Am is being unfair or unreasonable...

I think it's past the "reasonable discussion" stage, personally

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