In thinking owning a cat doesn't make you a neglectful mother?

[Dinkytinky]

Hi all!
Basically I am recently pg and last night my sister said 'well obviously you'll get rid of the cat..' so I said umm no why would I? And she spouted off that 'cat litter will deform the baby' (I don't bloody roll around in it FFS!) and 'cats suffocate babies'!!
As kids we had two cats and I don't appear to be dead.
She doesn't have dc but works with sn kids.
I was just flabbergasted, and was so upset with her implying that me not knowing this is a sign of future neglect/idiocy!
Does anyone else think this about cats and babies?

Don't worry- I wasn't planning on making cot into harem for felines and giving baby catnip etc!

Thanks!

I have a cat, my children seem OK. But maybe the cat has long term evil planned? DS1 likes the cat to sleep on the end of his bed has done since a baby, she has never shown any inclination towards wanting to smother him or DS2.

Cat urine can transfer a disease called toxoplasmosis, which can be harmful during pregnancy.

You can have a test to see if you are already immune to this disease.

The usual advice to pregnant women is not to clean out the cat litter tray or do gardening because of this risk, or you can wear gloves and wash your hands well.

It sounds like your sister is dramatising possible risks, and is possibly confusing some of the risks. Of course owning a cat won't make you a neglectful mother!

This attitude really shits me, and we had it too when we first got pg. Tell your sister this;

1. Most cat owners have already been exposed and are immune to toxo -whatsits. If you are concerned, you can get your immunity checked. Even so, sensible precautions will suffice.... get someone else to clean the litter or use rubber gloves.

1. Cats sometimes DO like sleeping in with babies (lovely milk smells and warmth and cuddles). There are cat nets you can get for the cot (although i hear they are not that robust) or I know cat owners who are being super cautious make a kind of mesh lid for the cot so that even if the cat DOES get on top of the emsh it will not sink down and suffocate the baby.

Zillions of people manage to bring up babies with cats and dogs without harm. It may well require a little extra vigilence, but that is par for course.

Children who have pets have fewer allergies and learn a bit about respect for animals.

I think if someone isn't washing their hands after dealing with a litter tray (pregnant or not) then the cat is likely to be the last thing their kids have to worry about.

On the other hand OP, the toxoplasmosis thing is an excellent excuse to get your DP to do the litter tray while you are pregnant, then just leave i as his job.

Cat litter will do what????

MIL was the same when I was pg with dd2. The cats were there when dd1 was born, and she survived fine, but for dd2 they were going to be a problem

I was fine to keep the Jack Russell Terrier though . You read about babies being mauled to death by cats all the time don't you?

Your cat will be fine. YANBU.

We had a cat before having dcs. She was probably more bothered by her home being invaded by children than the children were by having her around! She was never too keen on them picking her up and cuddling her but never hurt them. She probably did get into the cot the odd time...

Our current cats are far more cuddly and love to sleep on the dcs beds but dcs are older now...

YANBU . .Just make sure you wash hands after dealing with cat b4 you eat, etc . . .hygiene etc. It will be fine having a cat. . your sis is over reacting.

My cats outnumber my kids 5:3

I have pictures of all three children as babies asleep with a cat stretched out next to them.... in fact one of the cats is only here because she took such a shine to ds2 as a kitten i didn't have the heart to rehome her

Owning a pet is actually beneficial to the child in many ways... if she's the sientific kind here are some referances:

Contact with pets develops nurturing behaviour in children who may grow to be more nurturing adults (Melson, 1990).

Children exposed to humane education programs display enhanced empathy for humans compared with children not exposed to such programs. (Ascione, 1992).

Positive self-esteem of children is enhanced by owning a pet. (Bergensen, 1989).

Children's cognitive development can be enhanced by owning a pet. (Poresky, 1988).

The presence of a dog during a child's physical examine decreases their stress. (Nadgengast, 1997, Baun, 1998).

Children owning pets are more involved in activities such as sports, hobbies, clubs or chores. (Melson, 1990)

Companionship of pets (particularly dogs) helps children in families adjust better to the serious illness and
death of a parent (Raveis, 1993).

I also definitely remember reading research stating that children who live in homes with at least two pets have stronger immune systems and get sick less often but i'm too lazy to find a referance for that one. It's all certainly true of my children though.... they're all extremely healthy and very gentle and loving with the cats... I could trust ds1 to hold a day old kitten in his hands at 2yo and know that he wouldn't hurt it or scare it.

Try and avoid baby using the litter tray as a sandpit and you've nothing to worry about

I'm not sure now if it's cat urine or cat poo that is the problem.

Either way, it sounds like a good idea to get someone else to clean out the litter tray!

Sorry, just realised how angry my post sounded.

we had some major overreacting too, and it hit a sore point.

Also, I wholeheartedly agree with StuckInTheMiddle.... fewer allergies and it is wonderful for children to learn to respect, love and communicate with animals.

I have baby, toddler and cat and seem to manage okay. I was asked same thing by SIL but we just keep an eye on cat and DD & DS and all good. TBH the cat probably suffers most at the hands of my over enthusiastic toddler!

Thanks voices of reason! And morloth lol!! Don't worry about toxo watsimacallit- of course Dp is doing it now. She's actually only met the cat once (lives far away ((my sister not the cat))) so I might just send her videos of him lying on his back talking to himself... Or maybe this is all part of his evil plan?!?! Dum dum daaaa!

What Morloth said. Nine months off dealing with the litter tray. Fabulous.

Get your immunity tested if you're concerned - that will shut your sister up. Although, of course, if you are immune you lose the litter tray getout!

She's over reacting!

My in-laws are convinced that our dog will turn into a baby-eating-wolf when our baby is born.
Now I love my dog, but the implication that I would put my dog before my child is so insulting!

It's poo that's the problem - toxoplasmosis. Just don't touch poo or cat litter that may have poo on it. Since I assume you don't currently scoop the poo out of your cat's tray with your bare hands, I don't think there's much to worry about . Always wash hands after going near the litter tray or even better, get your DH to do it for you.

We've always had cats and they've never tried to smother them. I never left their bedroom doors open though (just in case!), still don't as our 1 remaining cat just loves to curl up on their beds. Trouble is he's not quiet or subtle and tends to poke them in the head till they give him a cuddle. Not great at 5am for anyone (mostly me)!

Thanks tulips! That's really interesting, shall deffo use as ammo for round 2!

cats and babies are fine, as long as you keep an eye on the cat

Don't you just wish that inlaws sisters etc would just say 'congratulations!' and then sit quietly while you blather on about names/nursery/prams

We have had cats foerever; indeed we have taken on some very seriously disabled cats who haven't survived past a year and one even who needed kangarooc are for a month or so before he could cope at all- just stayed inside my top.

never has any one tried to suffocate a baby.

Of course I folowed rules about toxoplasmosis 9though tbh if I weare not immune I would be astounded!), and we were careful for basic accidents that any creature could cause- I remember the cat almost knwocking over a moses basket once. Almost, because we were sensible and saw it.

the boys have benefitted hugely from the cats, whether to cuddle up to on a cold evening, learn about gentle behaviour or when one has passed away as a 'pre run' for bereavements they are bound to experience.

Friends disposed of their dog to a shelter when their dd was born on family advice- only to pick it up a few weeks later, invest in a stairgate to keep it out of certain areas and there was no issue.

Yes, people should just say congratulations and be quiet.

I was brought up with cats, dogs and horses and I think the most joyfu moments in my life have come from the relationships I have had with them.

Our poor cat runs a mile from my 2 DDs.........especially as DD1 has a habit of running after him making a horrible screeching noise!

UPDATE!!!
cat has just puked asparagus on kitchen floor, maybe shall get rid after all!